Do you do the most talking in a session or does your T do the most talking?

emmaleemochizuki · Oct 22, 2020 at 06:00 AM

I have had different experiences with different Ts.

The T that I currently see she's usually more passive, as expected because she's a psychoanalyst. So I do the most talking, but a lot of times the session are very slow, cos I don't talk a lot, but she always insist that I have to lead, and sometimes she does ask questions, and leads a bit, but not always the case.

And there's other Ts that talk a lot more than I do. I suppose sometimes with a very difficult topic and I find it hard to talk about, it helps when the other person is leading. But I suppose it can also be misleading sometimes because Ts are not mind readers.

chihirochild · Oct 22, 2020 at 06:14 AM

With my current T, it’s probably 70% me 30% him, unless he’s having a session where he is giving lots of diagnostic information and advice, in which case it swaps.

Lostislost · Oct 22, 2020 at 06:35 AM

I have no idea. It just feels like a natural conversation, Unless I'm telling him a long dream or something and then he just listens for a while. I like listening to him talk about things though.

ArtleyWilkins · Oct 22, 2020 at 06:41 AM

Probably about 50/50 - sessions were usually a dialogue unless I was really seriously depressed (I tend to not talk much when I'm depressed.)

LonesomeTonight · Oct 22, 2020 at 07:22 AM

It's about 50/50 for me. And there's very rarely any silence, maybe a minute for one of us to think about something, but nothing extended.

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 22, 2020 at 08:50 AM

It's probably more her than me. I choose the topic, and then I follow her lead. I can stop her at any time. She's very engaging and does a lot of verbal mirroring. It helps me make sense of things.

ChickenNoodleSoup · Oct 22, 2020 at 02:35 PM

More or less 50/50. Sometimes it's more me, sometimes more him. And there's usually quite a bit of silence too.

comrademoomoo · Oct 22, 2020 at 02:43 PM

Her, by far. Sometimes she tells herself to shut up, sometimes I just speak over her because there is no other end in sight. She is very keen to appear wise, and sometimes she can be, but I am the person who reminds us of the value of being quiet and still.

comrademoomoo · Oct 22, 2020 at 02:45 PM

... Actually, I shouldn't be too critical of her in this aspect. It suits me for her to speak because I am often paralysed or without thought.

Salmon77 · Oct 22, 2020 at 02:53 PM

I talk a bit more than he does and probably "lead" the conversation more, but he talks a lot, too. Maybe 60/40.

daisydid · Oct 22, 2020 at 03:03 PM

This answer has varied depending on the clinician. This new guy seems to lead and talks a little more than I’m used to. It’s still probably about 50/50 though.

stopdog · Oct 22, 2020 at 10:20 PM

I finally just got the first one to quit talking for the most part. Sometimes she had problems with it and talked anyway so I would have to remind her to not talk.

Mountaindewed · 06:21 AM

Sometimes I feel like she talks so much I never get a chance to say anything. She makes these long speeches every time I say something and then I just kind of zone out and then she’ll say “does that make sense?” And I’m like “yeah I guess....”

It’s 80/20 for me.

jirafe · Oct 24, 2020 at 01:25 PM

Depends on the session. Usually I talk more (me\T = 60/40). But if I need help to clarify my feelings or there is a specially difficult or sensitive issue to discuss she takes initiative and talks more (me/T =20 (30)/80 (70)). It is all adjusted to my needs.

nottrustin · Oct 25, 2020 at 11:48 AM

We are pretty equal. There are weeks that I talk more and Other weeks I talk a lot less so she has to talk more and ask more questions to get me to open up. Often on those weeks she jets pretty brief responses.

nottrustin · Oct 25, 2020 at 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

... Actually, I shouldn't be too critical of her in this aspect. It suits me for her to speak because I am often paralysed or without thought.

T often will tell me something person that relates to our discussion and then frequently will say "I have no idea why I just went on about that". It doesn't usually bother me because it does relate to our topic.

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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Oct 22, 2020 at 06:14 AM #2 With my current T, it’s probably 70% me 30% him, unless he’s having a session where he is giving lots of diagnostic information and advice, in which case it swaps.
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Lostislost Veteran Member Member Since May 2020 Location: Uk Posts: 557 3 890 hugs given	Oct 22, 2020 at 06:35 AM #3 I have no idea. It just feels like a natural conversation, Unless I'm telling him a long dream or something and then he just listens for a while. I like listening to him talk about things though.
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Oct 22, 2020 at 06:41 AM #4 Probably about 50/50 - sessions were usually a dialogue unless I was really seriously depressed (I tend to not talk much when I'm depressed.)
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,744 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Oct 22, 2020 at 07:22 AM #5 It's about 50/50 for me. And there's very rarely any silence, maybe a minute for one of us to think about something, but nothing extended.
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ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,407 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,414 hugs given	Oct 22, 2020 at 08:50 AM #6 It's probably more her than me. I choose the topic, and then I follow her lead. I can stop her at any time. She's very engaging and does a lot of verbal mirroring. It helps me make sense of things. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
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ChickenNoodleSoup Grand Poohbah Member Since Apr 2017 Location: In a land far far away Posts: 1,575 7 1,304 hugs given	Oct 22, 2020 at 02:35 PM #7 More or less 50/50. Sometimes it's more me, sometimes more him. And there's usually quite a bit of silence too.
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,711 5	Oct 22, 2020 at 02:43 PM #8 Her, by far. Sometimes she tells herself to shut up, sometimes I just speak over her because there is no other end in sight. She is very keen to appear wise, and sometimes she can be, but I am the person who reminds us of the value of being quiet and still.
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,711 5	Oct 22, 2020 at 02:45 PM #9 ... Actually, I shouldn't be too critical of her in this aspect. It suits me for her to speak because I am often paralysed or without thought.
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Salmon77 Poohbah Member Since Mar 2014 Location: PNW Posts: 1,394 10 106 hugs given	Oct 22, 2020 at 02:53 PM #10 I talk a bit more than he does and probably "lead" the conversation more, but he talks a lot, too. Maybe 60/40.
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daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Oct 22, 2020 at 03:03 PM #11 This answer has varied depending on the clinician. This new guy seems to lead and talks a little more than I’m used to. It’s still probably about 50/50 though.
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jirafe Junior Member Member Since Oct 2020 Location: Poland Posts: 15 3 8 hugs given	Oct 24, 2020 at 01:25 PM #14 Depends on the session. Usually I talk more (me\T = 60/40). But if I need help to clarify my feelings or there is a specially difficult or sensitive issue to discuss she takes initiative and talks more (me/T =20 (30)/80 (70)). It is all adjusted to my needs.
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nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Oct 25, 2020 at 11:48 AM #15 We are pretty equal. There are weeks that I talk more and Other weeks I talk a lot less so she has to talk more and ask more questions to get me to open up. Often on those weeks she jets pretty brief responses. __________________
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