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Member
Member Since Apr 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 179
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Oct 25, 2020 at 12:25 PM
#1
Probably someone with an eating disorder can relate to this.
It certainly bothers me. If I am working with a T that's really skinny, its very unconvincing, because I find it hard to believe he/she has a healthy relationship with food, and besides seeing skinny people triggers me. But equally if I work with a T that's overweight, it doesn't help either. My current T used to be very skinny, and it really triggered me, and I was never really able to bring it up in therapy, cos I thought it was rude to comment on someone body, cos I wouldn't want anyone to comment on me too. But she's gained weight since her pregnancy, and I'm not gonna lie it made me less anxious, cos then there isn't this comparison to her, and me feeling horrible because I think I look bigger than her. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
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Oct 25, 2020 at 12:32 PM
#2
I have had an eating disorder in the past. Although my eating habits now aren't perfect, I don't engage in the same obsessive/restrictive behaviors anymore.
I have never been bothered by a therapist's weight. The ones I have seen have all been at a healthy weight but not especially skinny. I think I would probably feel jealous of a really fit/skinny therapist because I would assume being that way comes naturally for them and they don't have to resort to the things that I have in the past. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,234
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Oct 25, 2020 at 12:43 PM
#3
i would say current t is at a healthy weight. i feel like that too susannahsays that it just comes naturally for her and so she can't understand my struggles with my weight. i felt so terribly shamed when she brought it up not long ago!!
Possible trigger:
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 SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Illinois
Posts: 66
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Oct 25, 2020 at 12:45 PM
#4
I don't get bothered by a therapist's weight.
I have Binge-Eating Disorder though and am plus-sized. |
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| SlumberKitty
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,234
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Oct 25, 2020 at 12:50 PM
#5
Quote:
I suspect that's what t thinks i have. but i don't know. |
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| SlumberKitty
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,409
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Oct 25, 2020 at 01:20 PM
#6
Quote:
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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| SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,194
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Oct 25, 2020 at 02:20 PM
#7
I saw my T for the first time in 6 months a few weeks ago and she lost a lot of weight and I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know if I was being rude by not saying anything but I had no idea if I should or not. Or how to say it the right way. I couldn’t tell if she seemed bothered that I hadn’t commented on it. Then again she didn’t comment on my appearance... and I looked different too.
I’ll be going in there on Thursday after having lost 13 pounds since we last met. We’ll see how it goes. She strongly suspects an ED to the point of needing treatment. __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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| SlumberKitty
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,711
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Oct 25, 2020 at 02:33 PM
#8
I am bothered that she might not robust enough which is an erroneous concern really because she is a bit chunky and very fit. She is old though and I think I am sensitive to any sign of her being frail and vulnerable.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
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Oct 25, 2020 at 03:46 PM
#9
It doesn't really bother me. After the birth of my three kids I held onto a lot of weight for a few years. then I lost a lot of weight quickly. They suspect I had the early stages of an eating disorder. Over the last 10 years I gained some of the weight backs especially over the last few month.
Current T is quite slim. We have discussed that she can essentially eat anything she wants thanks to genetics. I also pointed out that she goes for a run every day which also helps. I am a healthy weight and wish I could lose a few pints as I would still be healthy for me. Since covid started ai have also bern exercising everyday. So while I have gained a little bit of weight my clothes are fitting a bit better __________________ |
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
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Oct 25, 2020 at 04:12 PM
#10
Because I always think I am fat I get jealous of my T if he loses weight. During my time with him he started working out and I guess working on nutrition. I watched his midsection shrink. I also seen pictures of him on his facebook page when he was younger and he was hefty and unhealthy looking but how he is very healthy looking,
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,394
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Oct 25, 2020 at 04:21 PM
#11
Quote:
My T is a little on the heavy side but I don't think about it much. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
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Oct 25, 2020 at 08:19 PM
#12
I don’t have an eating disorder and my T is male. I have never really thought much about any of my T’s weights... BUT current T’s weight/build has changed since the pandemic started and I find it upsetting and I feel a little less safe with him because of how his body is changing.
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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Posts: n/a
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Oct 26, 2020 at 06:15 PM
#13
My first therapist was extremely thin and “recovered” from an eating disorder. I was there for anorexia and trauma. Because she was so thin, she seemed very weak to me, and i didnt trust her to handle all my difficult issues. I also didnt trust her about any of her recovery stuff,
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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