Do you share more with your closest friends or your T?

emmaleemochizuki · Nov 17, 2020 at 01:44 PM

I realise that I don't share much of anything with my family or my closest friends, but I am slowly starting to share more with my T.

It's two completely different kinds of relationship, with my family and friends, it's personal. But my with my T is professional. I think they are both mutual, but with my T is more about me than it is about her.

SlumberKitty · Nov 17, 2020 at 01:47 PM

It used to be that I shared more with my T but as I am healing more and more I am sharing more and more with my friends and family. Just my experience. YMMV.

chihirochild · Nov 17, 2020 at 01:52 PM

I share more with my T, for sure. I don't want to burden my friends with the various things that cause me to suffer.

The problem with that pattern is that now it feels like my T is some sort of repository for my secrets, which makes it more difficult for me to think about separating from him.

NP_Complete · Nov 17, 2020 at 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

The problem with that pattern is that now it feels like my T is some sort of repository for my secrets, which makes it more difficult for me to think about separating from him.

This is one thing I'm struggling with at the moment. My therapist was in my life when some pretty unpleasant stuff was happening and I feel like when he's gone, he won't be able to help me carry the burden of that stuff anymore. I don't want him to go.

Lostislost · Nov 17, 2020 at 02:16 PM

I don't have that many friends, but honestly I don't feel like any of them care at all about my life. They might say they do at first, but they never help me or anything. They don't even remember important stuff I've told them. They all have their own problems. So T will always be the only one I can talk to.

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 17, 2020 at 03:18 PM

I share much more with L than anyone else. Then again, I don't have any friends. I am starting to share more with my family. I don't think I can ever share as much with family as I do with L. L knows everything and is skilled with this stuff. My family tries to understand, but gets wrapped up in their own s***. My sister for example is more BPD than I am, and she's not in any treatment. I just can't share with her.

zoiecat · Nov 17, 2020 at 03:40 PM

In the beginning I shared more with my T but as I learned more about myself (DID memory sharing), I started sharing with 2 of my closest friends. Now I definitely share more with my one closest friend. I leave my T out of the loop on some things but then again, he would probably not be interested in those things. He definitely is not interested in my day to day issues unless I share in a way that uses feeling words and am willing to work on how I can improve the situation or handle it better. He is all about progress and does not want to chit chat about a laundry list of day to day problems. I usually don't want to waste time working on how to better handle each little issue so that greatly reduces the time spent on those issues.

nottrustin · Nov 17, 2020 at 04:37 PM

For the first few years I only talked to T. After a few years my best friend and another friend were very concerned about me. They thought I was getting worse and tried to convince me that therapy was causing more harm than benefit. 2 close friends had an "intervention". They were honestly concerned. I ended up telling my best friend that for the first time I had told anybody about my abuse and told her the basics of my abuse. I explained that the pain was horrific but T was amazing and helping me through it. From that point on I realized my friend accepted all my baggage and horrible secrets. So I don't tell her all the details and such but I am pretty open with her.

emmaleemochizuki · Nov 17, 2020 at 05:10 PM

It's interesting how a lot of you said at first you talked more with your T, then eventually you start sharing with friends too.

I actually thought it was suppose to be the other way around, clearly I was wrong.

And maybe I will eventually learn that too. part of therapy is learning how to share things with others, and maintain human interaction, whether thats positive or negative things.

stopdog · Nov 17, 2020 at 06:06 PM

I share a lot of things with my friends. I only told the therapist what I thought might be relevant to why I hired the woman.

ArtleyWilkins · Nov 17, 2020 at 06:45 PM

I share differently. Friends aren't therapists. Therapists aren't friends. They serve different functions, so what we discuss is quite different.

Mountaindewed · Nov 18, 2020 at 06:28 PM

I share more here on PC than anywhere else. Then I share the most with my T. I have one friend on Facebook who I message but I don’t share all that much with but she knows more then other people on Facebook do. If I did something real dumb I’ll share it here first then tell my T 24 hours later to avoid going to the hospital.

*Beth* · Nov 18, 2020 at 06:39 PM

Hands down, I share far more with my therapist than I share with anyone else. Far more. Next to her I share here on PC. I have several friends of many, many years, but I share very little personal information with them. I don't even share that much with my husband, mostly because he's not supportive of the meds I need to be on.

CharlieStarDust · Nov 18, 2020 at 06:56 PM

I learned the hard way that people in my life can’t handle what I have to say. So I share solely with my T. I’m very vague with my friends, but save the heavy existential stuff for therapy.

Nov 18, 2020 at 07:41 PM

I share way more with my T than anyone. It's taken a lot of time and work to get here and it's brand new to me on some levels. Friends don't compare now.

Taylor27 · Nov 21, 2020 at 12:49 PM

I share more with my therapist. I do not have very many friends that i can really share with.

ElectricManatee · Nov 21, 2020 at 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

I share differently. Friends aren't therapists. Therapists aren't friends. They serve different functions, so what we discuss is quite different.

Yes, this. I've shared bits of the deep, unpleasant stuff with my friends but only in a manageable, edited way. I don't hold back with my T, but I also don't talk much about likes and dislikes and day-to-day experiences the way I do with my friends.

daisydid · Nov 21, 2020 at 04:27 PM

Similar to Artley, I share differently with family, friends, and my T. There are many things that happen in my day-to-day life that don't pertain to my therapy, and there are things that I experience that I wouldn't want to burden a friend with.

WarmFuzzySocks · Nov 21, 2020 at 04:31 PM

For me what I share with t vs friends isn't necessarily more or less, just different. I've shared things with my t that I haven't told my friends and vice versa. It's just a different kind of conversation and processing.

mugwort2 · Nov 21, 2020 at 10:59 PM

Definitely my therapist. They are there for you to confide in them your most serious, relevant person I can confide in. I do tell my women and one male friend my feelings, my thoughts but I tell more of my emotions, thoughts to my therapist.

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emmaleemochizuki Member Member Since Apr 2020 Location: UK Posts: 179 4 23 hugs given	Nov 17, 2020 at 01:44 PM #1 I realise that I don't share much of anything with my family or my closest friends, but I am slowly starting to share more with my T. It's two completely different kinds of relationship, with my family and friends, it's personal. But my with my T is professional. I think they are both mutual, but with my T is more about me than it is about her.
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Nov 17, 2020 at 01:47 PM #2 It used to be that I shared more with my T but as I am healing more and more I am sharing more and more with my friends and family. Just my experience. YMMV. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Nov 17, 2020 at 01:52 PM #3 I share more with my T, for sure. I don't want to burden my friends with the various things that cause me to suffer. The problem with that pattern is that now it feels like my T is some sort of repository for my secrets, which makes it more difficult for me to think about separating from him.
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Lostislost Veteran Member Member Since May 2020 Location: Uk Posts: 557 3 890 hugs given	Nov 17, 2020 at 02:16 PM #5 I don't have that many friends, but honestly I don't feel like any of them care at all about my life. They might say they do at first, but they never help me or anything. They don't even remember important stuff I've told them. They all have their own problems. So T will always be the only one I can talk to.
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Nov 17, 2020 at 06:45 PM #11 I share differently. Friends aren't therapists. Therapists aren't friends. They serve different functions, so what we discuss is quite different.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,119 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,736 hugs given	Nov 18, 2020 at 06:28 PM #12 I share more here on PC than anywhere else. Then I share the most with my T. I have one friend on Facebook who I message but I don’t share all that much with but she knows more then other people on Facebook do. If I did something real dumb I’ll share it here first then tell my T 24 hours later to avoid going to the hospital. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Nov 18, 2020 at 06:39 PM #13 Hands down, I share far more with my therapist than I share with anyone else. Far more. Next to her I share here on PC. I have several friends of many, many years, but I share very little personal information with them. I don't even share that much with my husband, mostly because he's not supportive of the meds I need to be on. __________________
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CharlieStarDust Member Member Since Oct 2016 Location: Canada Posts: 264 7 16 hugs given	Nov 18, 2020 at 06:56 PM #14 I learned the hard way that people in my life can’t handle what I have to say. So I share solely with my T. I’m very vague with my friends, but save the heavy existential stuff for therapy.
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Anonymous46689 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 18, 2020 at 07:41 PM #15 I share way more with my T than anyone. It's taken a lot of time and work to get here and it's brand new to me on some levels. Friends don't compare now.
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	Nov 21, 2020 at 12:49 PM #16 I share more with my therapist. I do not have very many friends that i can really share with.
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daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Nov 21, 2020 at 04:27 PM #18 Similar to Artley, I share differently with family, friends, and my T. There are many things that happen in my day-to-day life that don't pertain to my therapy, and there are things that I experience that I wouldn't want to burden a friend with.
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mugwort2 Poohbah Member Since Aug 2015 Location: Philadelphia PA. Posts: 1,291 8 28 hugs given	Nov 21, 2020 at 10:59 PM #20 Definitely my therapist. They are there for you to confide in them your most serious, relevant person I can confide in. I do tell my women and one male friend my feelings, my thoughts but I tell more of my emotions, thoughts to my therapist.
	Reply With Quote