Do you prefer a younger or older T?

emmaleemochizuki · Nov 19, 2020 at 04:27 PM

I am 21, and generally I prefer someone in their 30s. So they are young, but will at least had some experience. I don't think I can talk to someone that's like my mum's age or older. And if someone is in their 20s they are usually still in training and are not as experienced or qualified to help with what I am struggling with.

I don't know the definite age of my current T but I think she's in her 30s. It's worked really well so far.

SlumberKitty · Nov 19, 2020 at 04:30 PM

All of my T's have been older (like 60's or older) except one who was probably in her late 40's early 50's and who I only saw for four times. But I don't know if that is just by chance or by preference. I think I would be okay with a younger T as long as they were helping me.

ElectricManatee · Nov 19, 2020 at 04:41 PM

I prefer an older female T, but that's because I have mommy issues. My current T is thirteen years older than me (she is in her late forties). My previous T was the same age as my parents. I was in my early twenties and she was in her late forties at the time.

Brown Owl 2 · Nov 19, 2020 at 04:51 PM

I prefer a T who is older than me, preferably one who is about 60.

ArtleyWilkins · Nov 19, 2020 at 04:57 PM

My therapists have always been a bit older than me (well, my first was quite a bit older but I was still in college). I wouldn't want a therapist younger than myself - not by much anyway. I'm nearing retirement age, with grown kids and a dying parent. I would need a therapist who at least has a similar life experience (as in a bit later in life, past the parenting toddlers age, etc.) My last two therapists have been just slightly older than me, both family people with kids and spouses, etc. A 30-something without that kind of life experience just wouldn't have that much to offer me as far as some confidence that they have any real-life understanding of what it is to be at this stage in my life.

That might not matter in the least to someone else, but for me, stage of life makes a difference. Just like someone quite young might feel more related to by a bit younger therapist perhaps.

MissUdy · Nov 19, 2020 at 05:00 PM

Any age is fine, I have met young people with loads of relevant life experience and old people that have almost none. As long as they could help me I don’t mind their age.

Taylor27 · Nov 19, 2020 at 05:02 PM

I perfer older with experience in life. My current t is allot older then me. Also i have Mommy issues. Also a young therapist has a hard time understanding somethings I have gone through in life. That is from my experience with working with t's that were younger or around my age.

RoxanneToto · Nov 19, 2020 at 05:56 PM

All of mine have been older, but I’d be fine with any age if they could help me.

daisydid · Nov 19, 2020 at 07:15 PM

Most have my Ts at this point have been around my age, plus or minus a few years. Yes, I have had Ts that are younger than me (by a year or less). My current T made a comment today about age which leads me to believe that he's 7-8 years older than me. Age hasn't been a big deal in who I select for a therapist. I do have a strong preference toward men, though.

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 19, 2020 at 07:32 PM

I used to think I preferred older, much older. I often had maternal transference. Ex-T turned out to be younger than me by a year. Then T is 2-3 years older and I have a great relationship with her. L is 3 years younger. I thought that would be too young, too inexperienced. I also thought I wouldn't develop maternal transference with someone who was my age or younger. Nope to all 3! L's been the best T I've ever had. I'm glad I gave her a chance. From now on I know better than to judge by age.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 19, 2020 at 07:36 PM

I prefer older, someone who's already walked the path I'm on, that kinda thing. I'm 58 and current t is 70. Of course there's a lot more that goes into our connection being what it is but I did somehow need her to be older than me.

omg 58 sounds way too close to 60. haha

nottrustin · Nov 19, 2020 at 07:45 PM

Older women. Of they are older they are .ore likely to have experience some ot the issues I struggle with. Long term T was almost my mom's age so she had experienced raising children, losing a parent, empty nest, etc

Current T is 5 years younger than I am. Her child is 5, her parents are alive and healthy. She is great and we have accomplished a lot but some areas she has stumbled a bit. She own it when she does.

Mountaindewed · Nov 19, 2020 at 07:49 PM

I prefer someone who’s about 10-12 years older than me. Not someone who’s my age or a bit younger but not like 50’s or up either. 40 is a good age. My bad experiences have been with women in their late 50’s.

Merope · Nov 20, 2020 at 08:07 AM

I prefer an older male T. I’m in my 20s and my T is 50. Old enough to be my dad, but I am able to tell him pretty much anything.

*Beth* · Nov 20, 2020 at 06:25 PM

At this point in my life (I'm 57) I prefer an older T. A younger one just wouldn't work. My T is 69; I do wish she was in her early/mid 60's so she wouldn't be retiring quite as soon.

When I was younger I preferred a male T; now I prefer a woman.

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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 04:30 PM #2 All of my T's have been older (like 60's or older) except one who was probably in her late 40's early 50's and who I only saw for four times. But I don't know if that is just by chance or by preference. I think I would be okay with a younger T as long as they were helping me. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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ElectricManatee Magnate Member Since May 2017 Location: Earth Posts: 2,515 6 4,704 hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 04:41 PM #3 I prefer an older female T, but that's because I have mommy issues. My current T is thirteen years older than me (she is in her late forties). My previous T was the same age as my parents. I was in my early twenties and she was in her late forties at the time.
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Brown Owl 2 Member Member Since Sep 2020 Location: Scotland Posts: 148 3 9 hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 04:51 PM #4 I prefer a T who is older than me, preferably one who is about 60.
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MissUdy Member Member Since Mar 2020 Location: Wales Posts: 197 4 269 hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 05:00 PM #6 Any age is fine, I have met young people with loads of relevant life experience and old people that have almost none. As long as they could help me I don’t mind their age.
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 05:02 PM #7 I perfer older with experience in life. My current t is allot older then me. Also i have Mommy issues. Also a young therapist has a hard time understanding somethings I have gone through in life. That is from my experience with working with t's that were younger or around my age.
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RoxanneToto Grand Poohbah Member Since Aug 2020 Location: England Posts: 1,692 3 6,991 hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 05:56 PM #8 All of mine have been older, but I’d be fine with any age if they could help me.
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daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 07:15 PM #9 Most have my Ts at this point have been around my age, plus or minus a few years. Yes, I have had Ts that are younger than me (by a year or less). My current T made a comment today about age which leads me to believe that he's 7-8 years older than me. Age hasn't been a big deal in who I select for a therapist. I do have a strong preference toward men, though.
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,224 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,756 hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 07:36 PM #11 I prefer older, someone who's already walked the path I'm on, that kinda thing. I'm 58 and current t is 70. Of course there's a lot more that goes into our connection being what it is but I did somehow need her to be older than me. omg 58 sounds way too close to 60. haha
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,136 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,750 hugs given	Nov 19, 2020 at 07:49 PM #13 I prefer someone who’s about 10-12 years older than me. Not someone who’s my age or a bit younger but not like 50’s or up either. 40 is a good age. My bad experiences have been with women in their late 50’s. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Nov 20, 2020 at 08:07 AM #14 I prefer an older male T. I’m in my 20s and my T is 50. Old enough to be my dad, but I am able to tell him pretty much anything.
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Nov 20, 2020 at 06:25 PM #15 At this point in my life (I'm 57) I prefer an older T. A younger one just wouldn't work. My T is 69; I do wish she was in her early/mid 60's so she wouldn't be retiring quite as soon. When I was younger I preferred a male T; now I prefer a woman. __________________
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