Therapist meeting (virtually) from a different location than usual

I don't think your feelings about this are weird at all. I completely understand and feel the same way. I always "need to know". I do not like surprises and stuff like this throws me off. I need warnings due to unpredictability rooted in the past. However, once I did get the courage to speak up about his background visual that really effected my comfort level during online sessions. It was a very large, aggressive, bright, disturbing Chinese circus poster of a wild beast gnashing his teeth....really off-putting and jarring. Who wants to look at that staring back at you while trying to feel safe and secure. It was a huge picture that took up a large part of the screen and was a huge distraction. Well, he was pissed and 'scolded' me for being ridiculous, trying to shame me for being effected by a picture. Just one of many memories coming back to me and confirming this ex-therapist was a horrible person and a pathetic excuse for a therapist.

Interesting points--and I doubt it bothers her. She probably finds it interesting to see other parts of your home.


I've done therapy in numerous locations in my house, too. The very first time, I tried sitting in my bed and felt...really weird about that, so didn't do that again. I am usually in my bedroom when I meet with him, but I have a little desk in there that I use (up there because I can shut the door). I had to be on a different side of the bed than usual for a bit (long story), and he commented on that. He's also asked me what things in the background are (one being an exercise bike). Hm...this suggests it would be OK to ask him as well, doesn't it?

I've also met with him from my living room (times when H and D were going to be out the whole time), then one time sitting on the floor of my basement (another long story). And I was holding one of my guinea pigs for part of a session one time (I think after I saw his dog maybe). And he's seemed to be interested in seeing all of it and curious.

Of course, I was prepared to ask him about some of the stuff, but then he was in his regular out-of-home office today (we had plenty to talk about anyway).

My T had a different blanket on the side of her couch in her actual office last time. It bothered me because it wasn't the lavender one, but I didn't say anything. I wonder why she covered up the lavender one? Hopefully no one sneezed on it or something.

You can ask T but prepare he might decline to answer or get his back up. Then time will be spent analyzing all of this. So I guess my question would be is whether you want to spend your money on figuring it out?

I barely notice my Ts background. Talking to T is what I pay for and what interests me.

Liz seems to be in a different room or place just about every session, and I don't like it. Her two houses (remarried and not yet merging households) are decorated very differently, so I can usually tell what city she's in now, but I still find it distracting and unsettling. I could see a wall of tall windows and a gigantic backyard over her shoulder on our most recent call, which made me curious about her finances and the rest of her house. (We are planning to move at some point, so I am particularly interested in houses and neighborhoods right now anyway, although hers has an HOA, which I could never deal with.)

At an earlier point, I would have been delighted by all the information I could glean from these glimpses into her life, but I don't find them helpful or interesting right now. I'm nervous that one of her kids or her husband will appear at some point, although I think she's careful enough about my privacy to ensure that they won't. I saw her husband leaving her office building as I was entering once (pre-COVID) and I found it intrusive. I still LOVE seeing her pets, though, and the most recent visit by her sweet old dog was particularly delightful.

So I would feel comfortable talking about any or all of this, but my T is the kind who finds meaning in everything, whether it's there or not. I think you could ask Dr. T for a heads up about a venue change, but I honestly don't know what he would say.

I noticed many have sat indifferent locations at your home do you find it matters what room you are in? I have tried 3 different locations. In the beginning I was trying to work around where my (adult children were in the house. A couple of times I tried on my bed as my bedroom is not big enough for a desk . It felt weird having her in my bedroom and she knew it. Plus my kids were talking and walking l above me.
If I can hear my kids I cant get into the appointment first fear of them hearing me and the distractions.

Once I tried our bonus room which while cozy It meant about entire basement was off limits. Out bedroom is also there and of course my husband NEEDED somethig there.

I found the office/game room was the most comfortable but often my boys would he in there. Eventually I told the kids they could not be in that room for my one hour a week. Once it was my consistantly I found I was able to adjust beter to teletherapy. I still HATE it though. This week she told me twice that she wished we were in owrosn because she wanted to give me a hug. sigh

I would notice but I wouldn’t care. Info has been in three different office locations, one at her home, one her new professional suite with two different offices in it.

I do think that a therapist should avoid unprofessional settings like bedrooms. Especially with a client they know has erotic feelings for them.

I undersrand we’re all at the mercy of the times, but I take great care that my students can’t see overly personal aspects of my life like beds or laundry. Even lone dog and new cat are banned from my home office when I’m teaching.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight ...He's also asked me what things in the background are (one being an exercise bike). Hm...this suggests it would be OK to ask him as well, doesn't it? ...

My answer is yes!

Why not? It's a two-way relationship, after all.

He may not volunteer the info (as you are entitled to do, as well), but there is no harm in asking...

Mine switches locations a lot but in the same room. And I honestly think it’s to **** with me or to get some type of “therapeutic” reaction out of me to see how I respond in different settings.