Hugs

How would/ do you respond? Back when we were meeting in person T and I frequently hugged at the end of my session especially if it was overly emotional. Since meeting over video when we have had a very emotional session, she has a couple of times she has said that she wished we were in the same room because she wanted to give me a hug. I really dont know what to say. I want it so much but know we can't. It makes me long to be in her office even more. However, I always appreciate that no matter what I tell her and how embarrassed I am she totally accepts me wants to be that close to me. I just don't know how to respond to it

I would probably respond to her with.. 'me too!'. It's so lucky she is like that and feels that with you. I guess you can hug each other again when it's safe to and you are in person? How lovely will that be .
I wish mine wanted to hug me.

I wish mine wanted to hug me too. she's never offered (none of them ever have), but I've often thought about how nice it would be to get one.

I never ask though, can I have a hug, because it doesn't feel right somehow

I agree with the 'me too' or maybe a 'thank you' - or maybe talk to her about it as its own topic and not in the moment of it being offered. It would probably be a good topic to discuss before going back to face to face sessions because she might be more physically distance due to the "new normal" and you might find yourself sitting there wondering why she won't hug you after some major disclosure or intense session.

Mine will not hug me either/yet. We've talked about it a few times and I asked once. It really is in my best interest that she not hug me because it would confuse things for me. I have told her that it would confuse things and my transference is still too strong. She may never hug me because by time it would be mentally/emotionally safe for her to hug me, I won't want/need to be hugged by her. Then again, maybe when I get there, I'll be able to stay with the truth of that hug and it would be a good/healing experience.

I wish mine wanted to hug me too..

I guess five me it us hard because it just reinforces my frustration in not meeting in person. I have said thank you but it seems weird. The hugs have actually had a theraputic effect for me. I never asked for them in the beginning she asked if she could. I would never ask for physical contact for fear of them hating being close to me. When discussing my childhood that is evm more prominent. So for her to offer me a hug shows me she does not feel that way. Her saying she wishes she could doesn't have the same effect.

I really wish my therapist was allowed to hug clients.

My therapist always hugged me and we both miss it

I’d be a bit too excited if she hugged me. While totally playing it cool on the outside so she wouldn’t know I was about to flood my basement.

I can't accept physical contact from my therapist, nor from many people. It has become a recurring feature of my work. I push her away when she offers physical comfort. She moves forward and I move back. She seems to think I will be able to allow it to happen at some point, but I am not sure. Disgust and repulsion are big feelings for me. When she says she feels a pull towards me or wants to hold me, I usually say something like, "If I were a different person, I would like to accept a hug now". God, I am an idiot.

You are not an idiot. If I had a Male therapist there would likely never be any physical contact. With females it takes a lot of work to get there.

I don’t like hugging that much, either. You’re not an idiot for feeling uncomfortable around hugging and you’re entitled to decline them.

My T offered once after a really difficult session. I hugged her a little to long and did not want to let go. After another session it was a bit better as she offered again. Then sometime went by, and we had sessions with no hugs, until I really wanted one. I was not in my adult mind, and asked her for a hug, she was about to agree, and then asked if my whole mind was on board. I guess there were issues with the previous ones i had not known about, and because of my hesitation when she asked, she declined the hug. Of course all that i learned later. But the decline of the hug was a huge hit and it caused internal problems for a long time. As parts of me flat out told her how hurt it was to hear her decline a hug, and due to that we would never ever ask again no matter what chaos happens. It was a sore subject for a long time. Now the thought of hugging her seems to bring on a huge disconnect. Before covid i felt disconnected from her, and when teletherapy first happened it made me feel closer to her but by the 4th time i started to feel distant again. Now i can only talk to her once a month due to insurance not authorizing services and her credentials are not completed with new carrier. This once a month thing is not working for me as i feel really disconnected from her. I dont think i have anything to talk about. Mostly always working on my dissociative disorder and being more present. Not much for her to help with i guess. She only seems to contact me once or twice if i email her, and i could email or text several times. I guess i dont blame her i pay once a month so am not that invested with her time. Writing that makes me feel hurt. Wow had not noticed.

Would i want a hug currently, probably not as it would just hurt like hell.

I am sorry Just. , it sounds incredibly painful. DOD she ever explain the reason for declining your request?