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Big Poppa
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
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#1
I always felt that Madame T was self-censoring. She had very, very few unguarded moments and rarely spoke from the heart. The only time I felt I could trust her to speak freely was when she was angry, and this is perhaps the main reason I kept goading her.
(These remarks apply equally well to my mother, of course.) I'm sure she had a good sound therapeutic excuse, eg "It's not about me, it's about you". But in the end, the emotional connection was just too narrow. __________________ Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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*Beth*, ArtieTheSequal, HarperF, Omers, RoxanneToto, SlumberKitty
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HarperF, Quietmind 2
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
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#2
I don’t think you are over thinking. A T’s self disclosure is such a fine line and different with each client. To me it sounds as though your T was following some script as to what a T should be. In reality what a T needs to be is a therapeutic relationship for YOU not some script out of a text book.
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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*Beth*, CantExplain, Quietmind 2
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#3
I have never liked your Madame T!! How long has it been since you have seen her?
My old T is still on my mind a lot and I havent seen her in 12 years. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 913
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#4
That’s an interesting insight. I hadn’t thought about that before - that someone would be drawn into goading another person because when the other person is angry feels like the only moment of real connection. But yes it makes sense.
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,787
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#5
Important insight about finding a therapist that fits your needs. When we have to "goad" someone to behave the way we want them to, of course they are not being their authentic self. It is important to honor what we need in a therapy relationship by finding the right therapist "fit", and also to realistically understand that a therapist cannot change their personality or even their therapy style to fit each individual client's needs.
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