Couch 248: Curiouser and Curiouser

Balanced neural opinion: Considering your anxious attachment style and Dr. T's potential avoidant attachment style, it's understandable that there may be tension and misalignment in your needs for warmth and support.

Regarding your thoughts about seeking support from someone else or taking a break from therapy, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and find what feels most supportive for you at this time. Exploring these options further with Dr. T or with another therapist could provide clarity and direction on the best path forward.

Personal opinion: ( which may be wrong)

I feel taking a therapy break would be good for you- just to get some distance even if it was short . What keeps reoccurring in your process is the paternal transference with male therapists. This also became the focus of your marriage counselling. You’ve worked through a lot of ruptures including the stone but the underlying issue is the attachment injury which has not been resolved and keeps getting reactivated. Unless this is healed first everything else is secondary and it will keep reoccurring.

I think a somatic approach and someone who specialises in attachment theory and trauma-informed care would suit you better than Dr T whose main area is sports and training.

Self comfort would fall under learning to emotionally regulate yourself. Reading up on DBT grounding techniques could help you soothe yourself.

Thanks for the comments--this makes a lot of sense. And I was considering a trauma-informed T about a year ago, but there were a couple things about her that gave me pause from our 30-minute free consult, so I opted to stick with Dr. T. I may look again to see what's out there. She'd seemed the most promising option (for somatic T), who was accepting new clients and would meet in person, at the time, but there may be others now. (Not really clear how somatic therapy would work virtually anyway!)

I will say that Dr. T was just a regular psychologist, with a PhD and training in that, for the first part of his career. It's really only been in the past maybe 10 years (of a 20+-year career) that he got additional training/certification in sport psychology and "mental performance" (which can also be used for, say, business executives). He said at one point that sport psychology clients make up half or less of his practice at a given time (and many of them are short-term, like while their sport is in season).

Ultimately, the most important thing is to find a therapist who you feel understood by and supported.

Somatic therapy can be more challenging to conduct virtually, as it often involves a focus on physical sensations.. However, some therapists have adapted somatic techniques for online sessions, incorporating practices such as mindfulness, breathwork, and body awareness exercises that could still be effective virtually.

There may be new options available since your last search.

Trusting your instincts and taking the time to explore your options can help you find the right fit for you or if you choose to stay.

Thanks, Lemon. I might see how I'm feeling in a week or so. Our home mold remediation starts tomorrow at 8 a.m. (in three different parts of the house), so I don't have the mental energy to try looking for someone new the next few days. But maybe I can just poke around, see if anyone seems appealing.