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Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#61
Bumping so this is easier to find. Any chance of making it sticky?
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#62
Bumping to remind myself as much as anything (I have a cold and my brain is fried and I'm just so tired). Chat is in the morning at 10:30 Eastern Time. Someone wake me up if I'm not there. I'll do my best.
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#63
Chat is in progress now.
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#64
I am still sick, and I'm in and out of it if you know what I mean. But chat is in the morning and if I'm late someone please wake me up, ok?
Last week we talked about mindfulness in the sense of being mindful of emotions - paying attention to them, or observing and describing emotions. There are several things to pay attention to besides naming the emotion. What do you feel in your body, and where? How do you express the emotion? What action urges are associated with the emotion? What is the function of the emotion? Do you have other emotions related to the first emotion, such as secondary emotions (feeling mad about feeling sad, etc.)? We also discussed the "Opposite to Emotion Action" technique. To practice this, observe what action urges you have with a painful emotion, and choose to do the opposite. If you are sad or depressed, the emotion says to hide, sleep, avoid, shut down, etc. To change what you are feeling, do the opposite. Get moving, do something fun, exercise, call a friend, or do something that makes you feel competent. If you are scared or afraid, you might feel like running away or avoiding the thing you are afraid of. To reduce your fear, face the thing you are afraid of instead (if safe). If you feel guilt or shame, see where it's coming from. If you do need to apologize or set something right or make amends, then do so. But if you feel guilty or ashamed and you are not doing anything wrong, then keep doing what you are doing. Like if you feel ashamed when you go to T and talk about trauma or abuse memories, keep on talking about it until you don't feel ashamed. If you feel angry you might feel like breaking something or being aggressive or hurting someone. The opposite could be to stay away from that person, or it could be to do something nice for them, or generally do something constructive. See 'ya in the morning! __________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#65
Today we talked more about understanding emotions, and about Opposite to Emotion.
I don't post specifics from chat, but this chat reminded me of some examples from my own life, so I'll use those. Does anyone here subscribe to Flylady? She's great, and you can find her at flylady.net - anyway, back in 2003, Flylady's theme for the year was "Be kind to me in 2003." I had been following her program at the time, and I could not handle that theme at all, and stopped reading Flylady because of that trigger. She was suggesting tasks that involved self-care and pampering your body. I couldn't deal with it. If I had known then about DBT skills, and what we have just been learning, I would recognize that I had strong feelings about that because I was afraid of being out of control if I didn't maintain strict discipline with my body (pampering was definitely out - I was restricting eating and also self-injuring in order to maintain control, and was afraid to let go of that). Another emotion involved is shame. I felt worth less than anybody else and undeserving of better treatment. Opposite to Emotion means not letting the feelings be in control. If you are afraid, you need to face what you are afraid of. If you are ashamed, and not doing something wrong, then do it anyway. Baby steps are always acceptable. So the approach would be to take steps towards doing the self-care even if afraid and ashamed. Note, you don't have to do anything overwhelming. Just little things to start with. You decide what you can do. I'm also practicing Opposite to Emotion right now by posting this. I almost deleted my personal example from this post because of fear and shame. But I will post it anyway. And then go eat some chocolate and make some warm herb tea. Even if I have to fight through fear and shame to do it. __________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#66
This week we talked about emotions and Distress Tolerance. Distress tolerance strategies are for getting through the moment, or surviving a crisis. They are a temporary solution, and should not replace managing the situation and/or your emotional reactions. But it isn't always the right time to stop and process emotions. Also, if you get overwhelmed with your feelings or whatever is going on, you can stop and take a break and get back to it later.
So, in your mind, you can have a closet. On that closet, there is a top shelf. You can keep a box on that top shelf in the closet for putting your emotions in when you need to put them away until later. The thing is, you do need to come back and get them out of the box and deal with them. Don't let them pile up in there and overflow or burst out. Emotions have a purpose. They come from somewhere, for a good reason, and they have something important to tell you. Even if you, like most of us, were taught that you couldn't have your emotions or that it wasn't safe to feel them, you need your emotions. They are an important part of what makes you who you are. They could be trying to tell you something, or to help you to communicate to someone else, or to motivate you to do something. Observe your emotions. Take a step back from them and see what you feel in your body, where it is, how it shows on your face, in your body language, in your words, etc. What does the emotion want you to do? You don't have to act on the action urges, but it helps to know where they are coming from. They you can be in control and decide what to do with it. When you need to get through intense emotions and painful situations, you can use distress tolerance. Some of these skills build on accepting what you feel and what is happening around you. Some are about distracting, and self-soothing. There are a lot of things that you can try, so find something that works for you, and try a few that you haven't done before too. Distracting (Wise Mind ACCEPTS ) Activities - go do something, exercise, play a game, call someone, ... Contributing - do something to help someone else Comparisons - compare yourself to others coping like you are, or someone less fortunate opposite Emotions - read something or listen to music or watch a movie that creates different emotions Pushing away - leave the situation and come back to it, or block it out of your mind for a while Thoughts - count to ten, do a puzzle, count all the colors you can see, read, ... Sensations - hold ice, squeeze a rubber ball, take a hot or cold shower, listen to loud music, ... You can use the 5 senses to sooth yourself. Find something beautiful, listen to music or nature sounds, sing, put on perfume or lotion, get a scented candle, eat chocolate or peppermint candy or gum or a treat, take a bubble bath, pet the cat or dog, get a massage, ... Some other great strategies to IMPROVE the moment: Imagery, visualization, go to a safe place in your mind Meaning - find purpose and remember your values and what you are living for Prayer - especially for acceptance, or turning things over to God Relaxation One thing in the moment - remind yourself you just have to get through this moment right now Vacation from adulthood (as long as you are responsible and don't check out for too long and make sure your responsibilities are covered). Encouragement - cheerlead yourself and tell yourself you can do this, and you are doing the best that you can, and it won't last forever. Also try making a list of the Pros and Cons of tolerating or not tolerating the distress, short term and long term. Focus on your goals, and the light at the end of the tunnel. __________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
Hope.Floater
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Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#67
Anyone interested is also welcome to come to the DBT social group for more discussion.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/group.php?groupid=52 I promised in the chat that I would post a link to a list of emotions. You will find some good lists if you google "emotions list." If it is hard to figure out what you are feeling, you may be experiencing more than one emotion, or more complex emotions, or maybe you need more practice identifying emotions. I need to get a lot better at it, myself. I carry around a "cheat sheet" (a copy of an emotions list) for when I get stuck. See if you can find the ones that fit when you get stuck. There are only a few basic emotions. The rest are related emotions - different combinations and intensities. Different theorists name different groups of basic emotions, but they are similar. This page has a chart of some of the basic emotions, and also a tree structure that groups emotions based on the basic ones. http://changingminds.org/explanation...20emotions.htm I have a copy of the emotions tree chart in my planner and have kept it for several years. It comes in handy sometimes. __________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#68
The DBT chat continues each week. I've been keeping the summaries on the DBT social group message board http://forums.psychcentral.com/group.php?groupid=52 because having it all over the place was getting confusing and hard to keep up with. Anyone interested is welcome to check it out.
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
phoenix7
|
Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#69
Forgot to say, we have been discussing mindfulness. So far we have covered states of mind, "what" skills, and started on "how" skills. For further explanation, look at the social group message board. We're planning to follow the outline from here, unless we decide to spend a chat working on something that somebody brings that they would like help with.
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
phoenix7
|
Veteran Member
kala83
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: Columbia,MO
Posts: 638
88 hugs
given |
#70
is the dbt chat still going on?
__________________ Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA for my father I think of you everyday |
Legendary
Rapunzel
I came back here looking for an old post, and I'm
looking around and realizing that I have really
come a long way.
Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
132 hugs
given |
#71
I have not been doing chats for some time, but I'm not sure if someone else might be doing a DBT chat.
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,460
(SuperPoster!)
9,664 hugs
given |
#72
Quote:
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Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,460
(SuperPoster!)
9,664 hugs
given |
#73
Quote:
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Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,460
(SuperPoster!)
9,664 hugs
given |
#74
Quote:
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