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Default Apr 01, 2018 at 09:51 AM
  #1
Today I have two jobs. One is dogwalking, which I enjoy. The other is working as a book consultant, which I also enjoy greatly.

The former I work for a company and I like that because it's less pressure on me to find clients. I also enjoy working with animals. And there's plenty of autonomy, which I need. But while I like it very much and the number of walks I have per shift, I don't get paid that much. Maybe enough just for transportation. I also feel like it's the type of job that I would just leave, and I have before. Knowing this makes me remember I have six months and to give it a solid effort. But I don't know if I can afford to do that. At least I get to walk, which is helpful.

Being a book consultant is great. I get 50-100 bucks per week. And my client is my friend. She says I'm great at this and have done it long enough that I could make a small business out of it. But, again, out of nowhere I.ll give it up. I also throw money at the stupidest things and convince myself that it's an investment. I don't want to do that again. It triggers manic behavior.

I need more money because I have to travel into the city and do have some minor expenses/bills I need to cover. Luckily my mom's taking care of me right now, which makes me feel like a loser because I could take care of myself and do great things. But when I thought I was taking care of myself I was ****ing sick.

So I feel totally paralyzed. I've read all the self-help books and none of them work right now. It gives me tension headaches thinking aboout applying for a job (again) because I get anxious about how much money I need to make or become aware of my behavior and that I will eventually stop working. I don't know what to do.

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Diagnosed Celiac Disease 2010
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Default Apr 04, 2018 at 10:31 AM
  #2
I think it's good your working now. Are you needing a different job? A better paying job? The health benefits you gaining by walking dogs is probably pretty helpful in your treatment too. You have two jobs you love, I don't really understand why you feel you need to look elsewhere? I know you said you need more money, really we all do. You need to budget and figure out a way to live within your means. That is something I am working toward right now.

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Default Apr 04, 2018 at 10:56 AM
  #3
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I think it's good your working now. Are you needing a different job? A better paying job? The health benefits you gaining by walking dogs is probably pretty helpful in your treatment too. You have two jobs you love, I don't really understand why you feel you need to look elsewhere? I know you said you need more money, really we all do. You need to budget and figure out a way to live within your means. That is something I am working toward right now.
Both jobs are in the city. It's about a 3-hour commute roundtrip. Round trip can cost anywhere between $25-$35, not including bus and subway fees. Multiply that by 3 or 4 days in which I travel and that's most of my money gone. My mom's supportive, but she can do this to the point of going broke herself, so I can't/don't want to rely on her too much. And I don't have/make enough money to budget properly.

Dogwalking is about $13 per hour. I've only worked two hours and during that time I'm usually scheduled four walks. Those four walks are about as much as I can do without feeling overwhelmed. They can add more hours, but that means more walks. I don't know if I can handle that. While walking is great, I do need to afford therapy/psychiatry, possibly medication, regular pcp appointments because I have a number of physical issues, dental care (my teeth are falling out, confirmed by a specialist), and a nutritiionist (I'm a Celiac).

Both book consulting and dogwalking are inconsistent, and whenever I get a job I tend to be in denial as to what is actually healthy for me, which is something I've always had trouble with. I still do. Even now as I'm applying for jobs that offer more when it comes to benefits, money, etc., I have to keep in mind what I can actually handle. Because I don't know what I can handle anymore. I've been fired or quit so many jobs; I don't have a good grasp on this.

__________________
My heart is down on its knees
And no one is hearing screaming
There's always something that's pulling me down, down, down
And this is nothing new...
- Phantogram

Diagnosed Celiac Disease 2010
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Default Apr 04, 2018 at 01:08 PM
  #4
I'm kind of similar, I either quit or get fired. So it's not easy to find a job that works around disability either. I too live with my mom. And I need to get out on my own she's almost had it with me.

Well good luck on your search. Find something you like that works with your disabilities and pays a consistent wage. Those are some costly trips to be making. Yeah it's likely in your best interest to lose the job that's costing you money to work at. Keep the one that actually pays until you find something better.

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Default Apr 04, 2018 at 02:05 PM
  #5
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I'm kind of similar, I either quit or get fired. So it's not easy to find a job that works around disability either. I too live with my mom. And I need to get out on my own she's almost had it with me.

Well good luck on your search. Find something you like that works with your disabilities and pays a consistent wage. Those are some costly trips to be making. Yeah it's likely in your best interest to lose the job that's costing you money to work at. Keep the one that actually pays until you find something better.
Thank you! Yeah I'm also seeking jobs close to where I live but there are not that many of them around. And plus most of my support system (therapy, friends) are in the city so it's just a matter of finding a job that pays enough.

I have an intake at the end of the month with the goal to schedule a psych eval and get a proper diagnosis (possibly bipolar based on 16 years of signs exhibiting manix-depressive states with potential comorbidity). I'm hoping this will help with obtaining disability. I'm not sure of how it works.

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. It sounds like a difficult situation.

__________________
My heart is down on its knees
And no one is hearing screaming
There's always something that's pulling me down, down, down
And this is nothing new...
- Phantogram

Diagnosed Celiac Disease 2010
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Thanks for this!
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Default Apr 05, 2018 at 06:10 PM
  #6
Would you want to find your own dog walking clients? You could charge $25 an hour and make more money that way... but it would be a bigger hassle. Having all your wages go to transportation is pretty discouraging.

I'm really curious about book consulting - what is that?
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Default Apr 06, 2018 at 09:36 AM
  #7
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Would you want to find your own dog walking clients? You could charge $25 an hour and make more money that way... but it would be a bigger hassle. Having all your wages go to transportation is pretty discouraging.

I'm really curious about book consulting - what is that?

I've thought about dogwalking on my own but there is way too much involved and I'm not that committed to being a dogwalker.

Being a book consultant means that I assist my clients in planning their first or next book. Often times being a profitable author in this day and age involves writing one book after another, so I guide them through the process of writing for the long-term. I mostly help first time authors, which range from writers to entrepreneurs. The books they write are nonfiction, mostly memoir. I've also helped fiction authors as well. The endgame is to have a marketable manuscript or book proposal ready. I also advise my clients on marketing strategies, and sometimes perform some of the market research for them if necessary.

__________________
My heart is down on its knees
And no one is hearing screaming
There's always something that's pulling me down, down, down
And this is nothing new...
- Phantogram

Diagnosed Celiac Disease 2010
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Default Apr 08, 2018 at 08:04 AM
  #8
Thank you, that's really interesting!
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Default Apr 08, 2018 at 06:53 PM
  #9
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Thank you, that's really interesting!

Thank you! I'm in a better place now. I've gotten a job working at a restaurant, which I've done on and off for nearly a decade. Now I have a renewed sense of purpose. I'm playing with the idea of using this as a way to learn how to open up a set up of healthy, 100% gluten-free and grain-free cafes in my area because we're terribly lacking! This also works with some other ideas I've had of owning rental/event spaces available for cooking classes and smaller parties, but this is all very long-term. I'm keeping an open mind and being mindful of my tendencies to go overboard with these ideas of mine. For now, my main goal is to do my best and to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist closer to home.

__________________
My heart is down on its knees
And no one is hearing screaming
There's always something that's pulling me down, down, down
And this is nothing new...
- Phantogram

Diagnosed Celiac Disease 2010
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