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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 10:13 AM
  #1
I had a conversation before Thanksgiving with my CEO. It was an official "meeting".

He said back then that leadership is my next step, and I agreed. He said either within our company, or elsewhere. Ok...

So our current leadership STINKS. My boss is uninspiring, and so is our team manager. Our leadership is seriously LACKING, and we as a team have lost a lot of important business as a direct result.

I have a powerpoint presentation I've pulled together that shows the missing missing of our current leadership's approach, and what I bring to the table, as a potential leader of the team.

My therapist (who is a bad therapist) suggested I wait until Feb or March to approach my CEO again with a meeting about taking on a leadership role. She says to lay low and not have a meeting so close to the last one.

I am getting a gut feeling that I should approach him NOW or very soon. We just lost more business as well, and I think I could help retain business far better.

So my question: Do I listen to my therapist or follow my gut?

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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 10:49 AM
  #2
So, I have a feeling you're not going to really like my response because I know you don't like your therapist and so I get the feeling you just want us to support you going to your CEO right now.

What I have noticed though is that you tend to have a reactive "gut" instinct to act right away, while feeling intense emotions about things. So while my suggestion isn't to wait until March like your T said, I think you would benefit from calming down and trying to really see the whole picture of the company objectively before approaching the CEO again. If you're not in a leadership role now there will be a lot that you aren't privy to that currently goes on in leadership meetings. So calming down a bit, giving it some space will allow you to assess the whole situation, not just what happens directly with you, and also allows you some space to see how things are unfolding. You can take time to observe how others in the company are dealing with the loss of business and work those considerations into your pitch.

I can tell you from personal experience it is always best to give these things some space and time for our own emotions about it to dissipate before we engage the leadership in the conversations. There are a lot of egos in the C-suite and if you bring your emotions to the table, you won't be able to deal with theirs, which is what you have to do when you're selling something - and this meeting is to essentially sell yourself as an essential leader in the company. I don't think you have to wait two months, I'm just saying give it a week before approaching him again. GIve yourself some space from the anger you're clearly feeling about their ineptitude. You don't want that to come across in a meeting.

Hope this helps.

PS: Get on getting a new T. She sounds awful.

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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 10:55 AM
  #3
Thanks, @seesaw! Oops, I should explain better.

I was planning on giving it at least a week before I approach the CEO. I am honestly more angry at my therapist right now than at the ineptitude within the leadership and company. lol. She really sucks. I did call today and spoke with the health manager who will find me a new therapist.

I've been allowing my thoughts and ideas to form into solid ones before approaching my CEO again, so I've been thinking this through since Thanksgiving. I feel ready.. or nearly ready.

My sense of urgency more so comes from seeing the business failing, and with me having some potentially good solutions to retain business better and improve our team's output.

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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 11:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
Thanks, @seesaw! Oops, I should explain better.

I was planning on giving it at least a week before I approach the CEO. I am honestly more angry at my therapist right now than at the ineptitude within the leadership and company. lol. She really sucks. I did call today and spoke with the health manager who will find me a new therapist.

I've been allowing my thoughts and ideas to form into solid ones before approaching my CEO again, so I've been thinking this through since Thanksgiving. I feel ready.. or nearly ready.

My sense of urgency more so comes from seeing the business failing, and with me having some potentially good solutions to retain business better and improve our team's output.
Yeah, that's all I was suggesting. Especially, giving him a few days to cool down from losing more business too. I'm sure the people at the top are feeling really stressed too so you don't want to be having the conversation when he isn't in a good space either.

Glad you called about a new T.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 11:18 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
Yeah, that's all I was suggesting. Especially, giving him a few days to cool down from losing more business too. I'm sure the people at the top are feeling really stressed too so you don't want to be having the conversation when he isn't in a good space either.

Glad you called about a new T.
Yes, good point and thanks. I'm sure the CEO is not very happy about it. But I disagree with my therapist's perspective. I don't see why I should wait a month or two simply to allow more time in between meetings and to not appear pushy. It's not like I'm going to barge in his office demanding a promotion and a leadership position. I'm simply going to present some ideas and solutions and see what he says.

I told the health manager all about how crappy my therapist is and how unhelpful she is. LOL. I was happy to give her some feedback.

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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 02:03 PM
  #6
you do realize there is a chance the ceo may not even really care what you have to offer. there may be reasons the company is failing that are beyond your scope. they may offer you a meeting just because.

I would suggest slowing down. but you either are or are not, regardless of what anyone says. therapist, gut, posted replies, etc.

I am amazed you have access to the ceo directly, usually most workers don't...nice to have that, just be aware that you may not get the answers you are looking for.

I served as both a field level employee and upper management in the agency I worked for so I had access to both levels of operation. it was easy for lower level employees to not understand the actions of upper level decisions from the higher mgt's view point. it's just easy to see things from the level you operate on. it took some time to explain corporate decisions to others when this would occur.,..what might be good for employees, etc might not seem good for the overall company at first., just saying. perhaps that might be in play here.

also are you suggesting in your power point that you should be placed in a leadership role? didn't you mention in a recent post you drink during lunch breaks & drive back to work? that isn't the stock of a great or good supervisor. I would think that is you are trying to vie you way into a management position or even tryin g to impress a ceo you need to personally on top of your game.

yea no one can smell vodka but it impacts your work. same with the smoking. people aren't fools. you can suggest the best program going but if you aren't a stellar employee (one with issues..drinking during the workday, violating a smoke free campus perhaps) then why should they take any input from you? regardless of how great it might be?

take the time to get yourself together. the cleaner you are the better your input will be recognized. walk. get a better outlook. having a poor attitude won't help a company with sagging business. they may be bad supervisors but for now they are yours. trust the the therapist.
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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 02:21 PM
  #7
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you do realize there is a chance the ceo may not even really care what you have to offer. there may be reasons the company is failing that are beyond your scope. they may offer you a meeting just because.

I would suggest slowing down. but you either are or are not, regardless of what anyone says. therapist, gut, posted replies, etc.

I am amazed you have access to the ceo directly, usually most workers don't...nice to have that, just be aware that you may not get the answers you are looking for.

I served as both a field level employee and upper management in the agency I worked for so I had access to both levels of operation. it was easy for lower level employees to not understand the actions of upper level decisions from the higher mgt's view point. it's just easy to see things from the level you operate on. it took some time to explain corporate decisions to others when this would occur.,..what might be good for employees, etc might not seem good for the overall company at first., just saying. perhaps that might be in play here.

also are you suggesting in your power point that you should be placed in a leadership role? didn't you mention in a recent post you drink during lunch breaks & drive back to work? that isn't the stock of a great or good supervisor. I would think that is you are trying to vie you way into a management position or even tryin g to impress a ceo you need to personally on top of your game.

yea no one can smell vodka but it impacts your work. same with the smoking. people aren't fools. you can suggest the best program going but if you aren't a stellar employee (one with issues..drinking during the workday, violating a smoke free campus perhaps) then why should they take any input from you? regardless of how great it might be?

take the time to get yourself together. the cleaner you are the better your input will be recognized. walk. get a better outlook. having a poor attitude won't help a company with sagging business. they may be bad supervisors but for now they are yours. trust the the therapist.
Your post is discouraging rather than encouraging. You're putting me on the defensive, and I don't feel supported.

I do have access to the CEO. It's a small enough company where that can happen.

The company IS FAILING and I HAVE SOLUTIONS.

And I already said I would stop the drinking at lunch -- and like I already stated, that has only happened a few times in the two years that I've been there.

My CEO told me he sees me in a leadership role. He tried to fit me into one, but it did not work out internally.

I will approach my CEO about a leadership role. I am taking the initiative. Honestly, i should be supported and applauded for this because I work with ALL men, and I want to take on a leadership role WHICH THE CEO SUPPORTS ME IN.

In contrast to what you say, which is exactly like my crappy therapist has said, I would be a GREAT leader. And i know this.

And I don't have a bad attitude, thank you. I vent on here, but I am the most positive and enthusiastic person on my entire team, which I've stated previously.

Thanks for the support.

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Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 07, 2020 at 02:35 PM..
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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 04:08 PM
  #8
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...My CEO told me he sees me in a leadership role. He tried to fit me into one, but it did not work out internally.
Have these issues been clarified? what does "did not work out internally" last time mean to you, and how would things be different this time? You dont have to answer for me, of course, but it does feel like youre shortchanging this area. Yeah, i expect full disclosure!

What concerns me most about what your CEO said at your last meeting, is that he said TWO things, and you are ignoring one and assuming the other is a go. You are assuming he sees you in a leadership role at THIS company. You are ignoring that he ALSO said, "or some other company."

I think people here are seeing yellow flags or caution flashing lights that we feel like you are just blowing through. If we didnt care, we wouldnt risk warning you when we know you dont want to hear it. We know gut feelings. Weve PAID for gut feelings. We might not be the most whats the word well-spoken kindly whatever, but some of us are the most burned. So please pardon our caution.
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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 04:12 PM
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Have these issues been clarified? what does "did not work out internally" last time mean to you, and how would things be different this time? You dont have to answer for me, of course, but it does feel like youre shortchanging this area. Yeah, i expect full disclosure!

What concerns me most about what your CEO said at your last meeting, is that he said TWO things, and you are ignoring one and assuming the other is a go. You are assuming he sees you in a leadership role at THIS company. You are ignoring that he ALSO said, "or some other company."

I think people here are seeing yellow flags or caution flashing lights that we feel like you are just blowing through. If we didnt care, we wouldnt risk warning you when we know you dont want to hear it. We know gut feelings. Weve PAID for gut feelings. We might not be the most whats the word well-spoken kindly whatever, but some of us are the most burned. So please pardon our caution.
Hey Una. I hear the warning. I see the yellow flag, and I am searching also for a different job.

It's a bit complicated to explain, and I don't feel like disclosing everything in this thread right now since I've written in about 5 different threads about it, lol. In essence, there's always a chance of a layoff because the company is in trouble.

I do appreciate the concern. I am choosing to see the more positive end of things. He did say within this company OR another, which leaves things open in my mind. So I choose the most positive outcome.

Thanks.

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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 05:40 PM
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sorry you find me discouraging. sorry I tend to think like your therapist (I guess there are worse things to be accused of)(

look, at 61 yrs old I have worked in both the private and government sectors. supervisory and not. I see things and call them as I see them. I only know what you post here, not the back story. I also don't cover things in rainbows & lollipops...you want to help a company succeed well you better be able to lay your crap on the table because saviors Are held up to a higher standard.

as far access to ceo, I don't know if your company has a staff of 600 or 6.

agaiun people have offered you many types of advice. do with it as you will.
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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 06:22 PM
  #11
I would like encouragement and support, the point of this forum, not discouragement. I'd prefer rainbows and unicorns. I grew up with parents who discouraged and squelched me. I know my company at this point and how they operate.

This thread has served its purpose. Thank you to those who helped.

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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 11:29 PM
  #12
Hi Have Hope, I just happened across your thread here and I was just thinking about how this company has a lot of losses in business right now. If you do approach your CEO about a management position, you may want to site the current losses and that you would take on a management job without and increase in pay right now. The pay can be increased once you regain more business back and get the business back on track where it's increasing in revenue again.

This can be a plus for you personally because a promotion and being in management can be a positive on your resume. And if you do get a promotion and do make improvements that show in increased revenue, that too is big plus for your resume.

Just a thought. Personally, when I am offered some kind of helping service and I'm struggling, I am more apt to try it if it's a "trail period" without costing me extra where I can see if what is offered actually does increase my revenue. If it works then I don't mind paying for it if my increase in revenue can cover the cost of it and add to my pocket at the same time.
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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 07:00 AM
  #13
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Hi Have Hope, I just happened across your thread here and I was just thinking about how this company has a lot of losses in business right now. If you do approach your CEO about a management position, you may want to site the current losses and that you would take on a management job without and increase in pay right now. The pay can be increased once you regain more business back and get the business back on track where it's increasing in revenue again.

This can be a plus for you personally because a promotion and being in management can be a positive on your resume. And if you do get a promotion and do make improvements that show in increased revenue, that too is big plus for your resume.

Just a thought. Personally, when I am offered some kind of helping service and I'm struggling, I am more apt to try it if it's a "trail period" without costing me extra where I can see if what is offered actually does increase my revenue. If it works then I don't mind paying for it if my increase in revenue can cover the cost of it and add to my pocket at the same time.
Thanks @Open Eyes. You make a good point, but we do have new business coming in. I also cannot fathom not asking for a higher salary. It's a self-esteem issue. Working harder, working at a higher level, but for the same pay? I just don't see myself doing that.

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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 07:25 AM
  #14
For the record,

I have the confidence to approach my CEO with solutions and ideas for improvement. They are good ideas that would make our team and company far more competitive. I have the confidence to take on a leadership role, either in my own company or elsewhere. And I have the confidence to lead a team of men as the only female.

Since my CEO DID mention I could lead a team in our company OR elsewhere, I take the more positive spin on that. He has told me many times how much he really likes me, as a person and as an employee. He used to chit chat with me all the time and casually drop by my desk... he wouldn't chit chat with anyone else on my team, but he would chat with me pretty frequently. Now that I've moved my desk, we don't chat anymore.

But bottom line is: He wants to know that I am committed to the company, because previously, that was a little bit in question. I reassured him that I am committed to my job. He said, "I hope that is sincere", and I reassured him it is sincere. He knows I get excited and passionate about what I do. He sees that in me, and I expressed to him my enthusiasm. He sees great value in me, and has told me this directly.

I feel that conversation is an excellent sequey to a follow up conversation that I can now initiate. He told me at our Company Christmas party just recently that we should talk more and continue talking about this. So I feel I can take the initiative on that.

But my own therapist discouraged me. My parents discouraged me as a child and squashed my confidence. I've spent my whole life building up my confidence through individual therapy and through my life and work experiences. I've worked really hard to get to where I am. REALLY hard. And I do still struggle with my confidence at times, but I feel very confident that I could help improve my company and retain business better.

Just 6 years ago, I was in a support role earning very little money. I worked extremely hard to improve my skill set, through individual studies and professional development courses, in order to rise in position and salary. And I did it. I made it. And I am very proud of myself for that accomplishment. And now I feel ready to lead a team. I have led and managed a team before. I've been in a Director level position previously, managing 7 people and their workloads, reporting myself to the Company CEO. I know how to manage and lead a team.

What I came here for was a cheering squad. That's what I had wanted and hoped for. I need to be cheered on because lord knows my crappy, more passive therapist hasn't cheered me on, and I wasn't encouraged in my childhood. I am flying solo in my struggles with all of this...

And maybe that's the point -- is for me to continue to fly solo, believing in myself as much as I do and to ignore any and all naysayers. Lord knows there's plenty of people who want to be more negative and tell people they cannot accomplish what they want to accomplish, because of their own fears and insecurities. And that's my therapist. She is fearful, and I can see that in her.

So I will ignore the naysayers and will continue on my path, with complete confidence in myself and my abilities. Maybe that's the golden lesson.

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Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 08, 2020 at 09:39 AM..
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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 11:26 AM
  #15
@Have Hope, it is perfectly valid to need a cheering squad and to request support for people to back you up. Just be clear that that's what you want when you post. When you ask questions of whether or not we'd side with your T or we agree with you or what we think you should do, the responses will run the gamut. If you know what you want to do and just want us to back you up, it's totally legit just to spell it out. "Guys, I need some back up. I'm going in to talk to my CEO again about moving into a leadership role, gimme some pep talks and confidence building to help me win him over." Or something like that, you know?

And just remember we all come in this with our own experience and so we raise red flags based on that. It may or may not be relevant to you and in no way do any of us mean to offend or insult you by likening our experience. We know we aren't there to know all the details, so we just give our gut instinct as well. As always, take everything with a grain of salt and know that you will know the situation far better than any of us.

Hope the meeting with the CEO goes well. I'm sure you will knock it out of the park.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Jan 08, 2020 at 11:54 AM
  #16
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@Have Hope, it is perfectly valid to need a cheering squad and to request support for people to back you up. Just be clear that that's what you want when you post. When you ask questions of whether or not we'd side with your T or we agree with you or what we think you should do, the responses will run the gamut. If you know what you want to do and just want us to back you up, it's totally legit just to spell it out. "Guys, I need some back up. I'm going in to talk to my CEO again about moving into a leadership role, gimme some pep talks and confidence building to help me win him over." Or something like that, you know?

And just remember we all come in this with our own experience and so we raise red flags based on that. It may or may not be relevant to you and in no way do any of us mean to offend or insult you by likening our experience. We know we aren't there to know all the details, so we just give our gut instinct as well. As always, take everything with a grain of salt and know that you will know the situation far better than any of us.

Hope the meeting with the CEO goes well. I'm sure you will knock it out of the park.
Hey @seesaw, thanks so much, and those are great suggestions. I guess I wasn't clear enough with what I needed and wanted, which I am learning how to do on here. Always a learning process, with everything. And thanks for cheering me on!

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