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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 07:44 AM
  #1
Ok, so I've determined that my workplace is mainly toxic to me. Why? Because the company is failing, we've lost some very important business, we've lost many employees over time, the leadership is seriously lacking and is not inspiring, and the CEO takes far too long to take any action for positive change.

I decided in the new year I would look for another position, which is right now.

But I am not going to leap without looking simply to get out. My former colleague did that because he was SO miserable, and he leapt into an even worse situation with a new company. So I am not going to do that. I am going to take my time and find the right company. And that literally could take six months or even longer.

In the meantime, I am trying to figure out how the heck to be "happy" in a toxic work environment? I've been miserable, and it's effecting me negatively.

I'm trying to imagine an imaginary bubble around myself each day that protects me. I've placed cute little stuffed animals around my desk that are cheerful. I use my headphones and listen to enjoyable music most of the day. I joke with the colleagues I like and I try to be optimistic and cheerful. I also take a full lunch break every single day, I drive off the campus and I spend time alone. This seems to help me a lot. I also smoke cigarettes secretly on my lunch break. No one knows. lol.

Ok, and I admit. Some days that are particularly stressful I grab an alcohol drink at the local tavern during lunch. Ok that's bad, but no one from work goes there, so I am safe.

And I avoid negative interactions with people, ie, my boss who is particularly negative these days on just about everything. He walks around with a glum face all the time.

I also no longer have anyone to confide in at work. There's one woman I COULD maybe approach because we've become friendly and she's around my age, but I'm being very careful.

What else can I do? Sing songs and skip in the hallways?

The only other thing I can think of is exercise, but that's super hard for me to accomplish. I am REALLY bad about exercise.

Does anyone have any other strategies for maintaining one's sanity in a toxic work environment?


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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 08:13 AM
  #2
It sounds like you are doing really well all things considered---I know I would have walked away---remember that you are seeking another job, focus on that, that the current situation is not forever, and your ability to function in this difficult environment is a strength. I would skip the lunch time drink, save it for the end of the day/a time you feel good rather than stressed. Maybe a gentle yoga class? Here's hoping you find a great job Soon!

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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 08:19 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by winter4me View Post
It sounds like you are doing really well all things considered---I know I would have walked away---remember that you are seeking another job, focus on that, that the current situation is not forever, and your ability to function in this difficult environment is a strength. I would skip the lunch time drink, save it for the end of the day/a time you feel good rather than stressed. Maybe a gentle yoga class? Here's hoping you find a great job Soon!
Thank you so much, @winter4me! And thanks for the reminder that this is only temporary pain. Yeah, I agree the drink at lunch is not the best. I do this maybe twice a month. Yoga is not a bad idea at all. Hmmmmmm

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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 10:33 AM
  #4
Well, I just applied for a job. That helps me to feel better!!!

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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 10:46 AM
  #5
don't know what kind of work you do but I would be really cautious about the drinking on lunch. make a mistake later in the day and someone smells alcohol on your breath, or god forbid there is an accident & they blood test you and you are royally screwed. all your good thoughts, performance etc goes right out the window.

seriously if you have to drink to get thru the day that is not a good thing. your other steps seem to be a decent way of coping. no one should care if you smoke unless it is a smoke free campus (again then you are placing yourself at risk...which seems like you are doing risky behavior to get yourself fired)

apply for jobs,
remember work is only 8 hrs of the day and doesn't define who you are
instead of the smoking & drinking on nice days try going for a walk..a 15 min walk will improve your mental outlook, give you exercise and physically remove you from the workplace for a bit

remember , you as an employee don't have access to upper management's thinking...there might just be more to their actions, you don't know. just because it seems like a crappy move to you, doesn't mean there isn't more to it. you as a non-management employee are not privy to all the company actions, and plans, which can be frustrating at times. something to remember. let the big decisions and actions float over you and don't take them personally. unless asked, they are not your problem (as in you don't make the call , obviously you want the workplace to be successful)
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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 10:50 AM
  #6
@Have Hope that is awesome to hear that you applied for a new job. I hope that other company hires you!
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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 10:55 AM
  #7
Thanks @resurgam. Yeah, I know that having a drink at lunch is bad. I never said it wasn't. I have vodka, which does not smell. But you're right. I should curb it just in case. Like I said, I do that maybe twice a month.. good suggestions to take walks. I will try to incorporate that.

Our CEO is notorious for being slow at making decisions. He mentioned getting an inside sales rep to increase business 8 months ago. Has he hired anyone to do inside sales yet? NO. We've only lost business since then. He also mentioned implementing a bonus structure 8 months ago. Has anything happened and have any of us seen a bonus? No, We've only been asked to work "more efficiently" and harder to increase business ourselves. He is known as a joke within our field because he cannot make decisions. I've heard this from a former colleague who was fired.

Good news is my CEO really likes me and talked about promoting me to a leadership role. But I think I want out before that happens. It probably wouldn't even happen for a whole year given how slow he is on his decision making.

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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 10:56 AM
  #8
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@Have Hope that is awesome to hear that you applied for a new job. I hope that other company hires you!
Thanks, Blanche!!

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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 11:01 AM
  #9
doesn't batter if there is an odor. blood alcohol effects your job performance. period. once a week, once a month, what ever, plus are you driving back & forth from the bar to work? again not a great idea....what if there is an accident, you get pulled over & there is alcohol involved? think about the consequences.

better to look for a job while you still have one then to look for one because you lost it over a stupid act..

you don't mention your age, but losing a job over something like that would screw up your career before it even started. just saying

there would be no promotion I would bet if he knew that, and if you are violation a smoke free campus...it shoes while you may be a good employee, you can not handle the stress of the job in a professional, mature manner, sorry .
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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 11:03 AM
  #10
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Originally Posted by resurgam View Post
doesn't batter if there is an odor. blood alcohol effects your job performance. period. once a week, once a month, what ever, plus are you driving back & forth from the bar to work? again not a great idea....what if there is an accident, you get pulled over & there is alcohol involved? think about the consequences.

better to look for a job while you still have one then to look for one because you lost it over a stupid act..

you don't mention your age, but losing a job over something like that would screw up your career before it even started. just saying

there would be no promotion I would bet if he knew that, and if you are violation a smoke free campus...it shoes while you may be a good employee, you can not handle the stress of the job in a professional, mature manner, sorry .
Thanks. I will be mindful of this.

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Default Jan 04, 2020 at 11:19 AM
  #11
I'm at least proud of myself for applying for a job. My goal will be one application per week. With one foot out the door, I may be able to cope better this way too.

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Default Jan 05, 2020 at 09:10 AM
  #12
@Have Hope: good for you! & if you get promoted before you change jobs, it is one more piece of your resume..
If you can, and are comfortable with it, getting yourself a nice massage now and again is a thought, other things like that to wind down from a bad day and feel better going into the morrow. Walking is good. (funny how times change, I am old(er) and remember when people thought nothing of drinking at lunch, or smoking while working...both unhealthy but once socially acceptable stress releivers---not very effective...as I recall)
Do let us know how it goes!

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Default Jan 05, 2020 at 09:18 AM
  #13
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Originally Posted by winter4me View Post
@Have Hope: good for you! & if you get promoted before you change jobs, it is one more piece of your resume..
If you can, and are comfortable with it, getting yourself a nice massage now and again is a thought, other things like that to wind down from a bad day and feel better going into the morrow. Walking is good. (funny how times change, I am old(er) and remember when people thought nothing of drinking at lunch, or smoking while working...both unhealthy but once socially acceptable stress releivers---not very effective...as I recall)
Do let us know how it goes!
Thank you, @winter4me! I appreciate the suggestions.

I love the notion of a massage... I need one badly. My back is suddenly in a lot of pain.

I will stop drinking at lunch, and cigs I plan on quitting. Now I just need to make myself walk at lunch instead, which is far healthier.

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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 07:33 AM
  #14
oh my goodness. Ok, so my company lost even MORE business yesterday. My boss announced it to the team yesterday in our dept meeting. So, we lost a bunch of important business, and I hear my boss saying to us, "well, we put out good work as a team, so it's not US. They just don't see the value in our work". OMG. But whose responsible for that?

IF we had strong leadership in place, then that value would be communicated far better and we would probably retain business far better. But since the leadership is lacking in knowledge and experience, leadership doesn't know how to communicate the value of our work as a team.

GRRRRRRRRR. I am beside myself. I had a hard time not rolling my eyes during this meeting, throwing up my hands and walking out. Shaking my head in dismay.

HUGE SIGH.

I am working from home today. Thank goodness. I had to get out of that office.

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Default Jan 07, 2020 at 07:59 AM
  #15
Ok, and my sucky therapist? I told her how I would handle a leadership role within my dept and company. I told her that competitors that offer the same services make certain industry-relevant team trainings mandatory. Well, I told my therapist I would make another training for my team mandatory, IF I were promoted to a leadership role. We've already completed several mandatory trainings, so this would not be anything out of the ordinary for my team.

My therapist told me NOT to pursue such an idea, because my team may not "like" a "mandatory" training, and they may therefore not like me as a result. What is she, driven by fear? Afraid to make positive change? This is why I say my therapist is passive.

I know from having worked in similar companies that these trainings would make us far more effective as a team and as a company.

But my stupid annoying therapist poo-pooed the idea and totally shot it down. I am still SO angry at her. She's supposed to encourage me, inspire me and help me.. she is doing the exact opposite. Grrrrrrrr.

I am starting to become eager and anxious to meet with my .CEO again to present my ideas. I feel the need to approach him SOON, since we're losing important business and since maybe I could help turn that around.

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Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 07, 2020 at 08:14 AM..
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