There's a great, big celebration

in British Columbia. A 50th wedding anniversary. A gathering of the clans. I'm listening to Jerry call John, David, Chuck and now Karla. He's inviting them to go with. His plans are to fly John (+4) and family, David and HIS family (+3) and himself to Portland, OR and pic up our middle son and two kids, rent a 12 passenger van and drive to Kamploos; the interior of BC.

Everybody gets excited, everybody gets invited, they're pretty much going as one group... and all I get is to listen to the plans and listen to the excitement. Once more, I get left out.

... ... Oh, well. I'm just the ex-mother and the ex-wife. I don't count.

How brutally painful, Sept. I'm really sorry

I'm so sorry Tomi. That is so painful. So mean and horrible.

((((((((((September Morn)))))))))))))

I'm sorry!!

((((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))))) I am so sorry!

Why do I keep putting up with it?? Why don't I just cut all my losses and move on?? I don't deserve this!!!!!

If I could, I'd move to the farthest point in the US and change my name so no one could find me ever again!!! So I would never hear what "Jerry's family" that I provided for him, is doing as a FAMILY!!!! He doesn't get it and neither do they!!! THEY ARE MY FAMILY!!!!! I MADE IT A FAMILY AND I MADE THEM!!!!

it hurts me to see you hurting like this!!!!! i dont understand them!!!!! i just dont!!!!!!!

(((((((((((((((tomi))))))))))))))))))))

Just got back from my walk with Amber. Did some thinking. Wondering how much of it is my fault. I mean, Jerry had the right to do what he did; invite his kids both natural and step-kids. After all, he raised them! BUT! He doesn't think of what listening to all of that AND helping him with air line tickets, itinerary, etc does to ME! He could do all of that out of earshot from me. He could go to a travel agent and have THEM do everything he's asked me to do. Bottom line... why didn't I tell him before it could hurt me???

Is it that you are hurting because you were not invited, or because you want to be with these people in Kamloops? You certainly deserve credit for creating such a great family, but it is likely to be very uncomfortable with some people who will be there. Not everyone is mature and reasonable. Some just like to pick scapegoats and Ex's tend to be an easy target. While they are gone, why don't you do something special for yourself that you wouldn't likely do with everyone around. A day at the spa?!

There's several reasons why I'm hurting;

1) Jerry isn't my EX, he's my "estranged" husband, although we're not really estranged. He keeps turning up at my door just like a bad penny. He had a small heart attack about 6 weeks ago and guess who's taking care of him? Me!

2) Two of my kids don't talk to me. I'm finally convinced that it isn't any of my doing. It's THEIR bad choice. People here will vouch for me.

3) This is the second time that Jerry has gathered all of the kids and their families and I have no place there. If it wasn't for me, Jerry wouldn't have 3 of the kids he has! Two I had from a former marriage and one we had together.

4) I like most of the people in Kamloops and many of those going. They were part of my extended family for 20 yrs. It's going to be a "righteous" Scottish festivity.

**5) Perhaps the worst part of it is that it takes me back to my childhood and teenage years. I was an only child, born when my mother was 46 and wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant. Does "overprotected" ring a bell? I wasn't allowed to join in any of the games, outings, etc. for fear something "might happen." If we did go, I had to sit on the sidelines and watch... like I'm doing now... and always have. Jerry even tries to get out of taking me anywhere, even shopping. He'd rather pick it up for me. Why?? Because he's ashamed to be seen with me; for fear that someone knows we separated 10 yrs ago will see us together? I don't know.

Fact is, four grown children and the nine grandchildren are MY FAMILY and I don't get to ever enjoy them. I mean NEVER! The only time I see my oldest son is for Mother's Day, my birthday and 2 hours for Christmas. But he's got time for a long weekend 10 days before Christmas to go out of the country?? Something's wrong with this picture.

But YES! I have thought of doing something special for myself while Jerry is gone. The kids are ALWAYS gone... from me, anyway. I just don't know what that "something special" could be. I'm in a wheelchair and no car.

I can see now why this bothers you and with good reason. You have a big heart and have some very inconsiderate people around you. Unfortunately some people never mature. As for treating yourself, (excuse my ignorance of where you live and what you have available) if you can find a means to get where you need to go, I really hope you pamper yourself to a day at a spa. You really deserve it.

((((((((((((September))))))))))))))))))

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Radio Flyer}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks, Hon. I needed that.

If we would live close to one another I would go get you and swift you away into a caring world.

(((((((((Tomi))))))))))

And I'd have to keep you there with me, {{{{{{{{{{Sweet Time0!}}}}}}}}}}}}}

you could always come here to TEXAS and hang out with me!!!!!!

I'd be "coming home" in some ways, wouldn't I? You're just a few miles further east from "home", but... it works for me!!

Oh, lord! I just looked it up... it's a 12 hr drive from "home" to you!!

i was about to say a few hours?????? more like half a day!!!!

And another 16 hrs from where I am not to "home"!! WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

hey girlfriend if ya like beautiful autumn leaves, and want to set up a Tee Shirt shop I know someone who would gladly open there home to ya