What to do?

So I got this friend I have been helping out financially for a few months and she was there for me a year ago when I was thinking of offing myself. I have been through some with her, used to text her all the time although she hates texting so I would rarely get messages from her because she wanted to text me. We would call each other once a month, not any other time because I would feel as if I am being annoying, already told her this. We have hung out once in the past few months. Now since early July, i don't really want to text or call her anymore? maybe because she will keep on wanting more money or something. I like to help people when they are in trouble and she was and told me to stop wanting to help her as it's my hard earned money, but I just wanted her to be ok. She had to take months off work due to 2 blood clots and gall stones and has not much money because of her kids dance class and other expenses and she moved away from her house and was happy about it and is paying me back what I gave her with her sold house money.

I dunno what I'm trying to say here really, it's kind of all over the place what I'm writing but I'd look at my phone and not really wanna text her or call her even when I tell myself I probably should. What does this mean? She text me over 2 weeks ago saying she will call me very soon but that was over 2 weeks ago. We used to hang out at least once a month and she was saying she wants a small group of close friends rather than acquaintances but we both rarely hang out with each other and barely text or talk on the phone anymore. I'd also look up things like "is our friendship dieing?" on google and I'd have literally 0 in common with what those sites say.

Also my definition and hers for friendship are different...I want friends I can hang out with consistently and we can talk about whatever, for a while I'd wait I believe it was 4 months before we could hang out, then it got better...she would only hang around family it seemed like.

I'm sorry this relationship has been a disappointment to you. It's tough to have an interest in someone whose interest back is not really reciprocal. I think that's what it boils down to. What you'ld like to have is more than what she's really interested in. She seems to kind of give you mixed signals.

You mention helping her financially. That's being a really committed friend. In my own life, I've found that helping people in a material way doesn't go all that far in building up a bond. You mention that this lady doesn't have much money due to her daughter's dance class. People hard up for the basic necessities of life don't have money for dance classes. It sounds like the money from you wasn't so she could eat, but was for her to sustain luxury expenditures. You mention that you are afraid she "will keep on wanting more money." You're kind of hinting slightly that you feel there is an element of exploitation in this relationship. I get the impression that there is.

I think you are not wanting to call her because you don't see this being much of a friendship. I'ld say you might want to just go with that.

I agree with Rose76. Sending big hugs.

Thanks for the replies. I sent her money so she would be ok, she was telling me she is selling her home because everything is becoming too expensive for her and needed time off from work, she would never have been able to take time off work from her gallstones and 2 blood clots she suffered so I was helping her out a little. She told me a few times to not help her out but helping people is what I do, but I was wanting to help people who need it due to life or death situations. I figure once I get the money back from her I'm going to try and help myself for a while instead of helping other people out.

I've been in the position, myself, of feeling I had to financially help people I cared about because I really did believe they would not be okay, if I didn't. I'm talking situations where someone dear to me faced homelessness or going to jail. As I've gotten older and wiser, I've come to understand that, in those situations, the persons I was helping really could have solved their own problems. What I was doing was promoting dependency in people who were inclined to want someone else to save them. I learned a further lesson that was kind of bitter: people who are inclined toward dependency tend to not have a great capacity for gratitude. (I haven't figured out why that is.) My efforts did not yield the kind of bonding and loyalty that I thought would naturally flow out of me being there for people during hard times. That's pretty disappointing. Not that I was looking for these individuals to go around feeling they owed me. I just thought there would be more warmth between us. Evidently - from my experience - that's just not how life works. I don't understand why. It just is what it is.

Find some worthy cause to channel your altruistic drive toward. There are plenty of worthy causes to choose from. You'll meet some nice people and have some chances at developing some friendships that aren't based on inappropriate dependency.

Makes sense