Communicating with a control freak??

I have an interaction coming up with this woman tomorrow.

Last week she sent an urgent email to me and the supervisor demanding we provide feedback on her project by the end of the day. Only what's the rush? It's my turn to do the next one. She doesn't have another until July. I think she's trying to cut in line.

In the emails that followed, I realized that this woman's project was related to something that's actually going to launch where I live. Is that why she's in a rush, so she can take over this higher profile project even though it might make more sense for me to handle it since she lives 2k miles away??

She also suggested she increase the scope of her work. I told her I thought that was a great idea and that I would do that as well for the project I'm working on. She didn't like that and sent a bossy email to both the supervisor and I suggesting I am late on my project even though her made up deadline was still ten days away.

I'm thinking of sending my project to the supervisor and asking if it's in line with what she wants and *then* sending to both the supervisor and control freak at the same time. That might protect me if the control freak comes back with a lot of change requests (which I'm expecting) or a suggestion that we postpone my project in favor of hers (also expecting).

I'm also wondering if I should offer to attend the launch event related to the project this other woman wants to do. I can meet people face to face and make more connections than she can being so far away. Plus, the event is happening in a couple of weeks, so it makes sense to cover it now, right? She can still do her project separately. Or should I just drop it, since she called it first? I'm a little annoyed that she is taking the big name projects for herself. This would be the third she's claimed.

I'm going to pitch a separate independent project to the supervisor. If she accepts, I will back off this 'collaboration.' I'm making great connections but not sure it's worth the stress dealing with this woman entails.

Sorry, this is so long. I don't know why I get all wrapped up in this stuff, but it drives me bonkers and I have no idea how to deal with it. Over analyzing is probably not the way to go, but...

Anonymous87914, I'm sorry to see you've left.

I thought you had backed out of the partnership. Definitely I would not work with her in the future.

It seems you took this on for the connections you would make, is that right? I wonder you can find a different way to make the connections you want. Pitching the independent project may be a good way. And maybe you could you attend the launch event on your own, independent of whether your "partner" decides she should go.

I hope you find a way to reach your objective without the stress.

I haven't backed out completely, no. I just stopped engaging with her. I really don't want to quit, if I can avoid it. I want to hang in long enough to get a footing with this group to engage independently.

My partner can't go to the launch event, that's what's so dumb. She has to approach the work in a backwards way and will not get the results someone would get by being there in person. If we were true partners, she would have asked me to take this specific assignment. It's so ridiculous.