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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 4,887
10 3,785 hugs
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#21
To me, there's a difference between hitting on someone who is sitting there drinking coffee, a fellow customer, and hitting on the barista. The fellow customer can tell you they are not interested. He/she can choose to get coffee somewhere else. The worker is a captive audience. They have to be nice and can't really do anything to escape. In some situations, customers interpret a worker being nice because they have to be as flirting. Not in the OP's situation, though, since he did not talk to her.
For me personally, I hated getting hit on at work by customers. Getting hit on in general got old. Now I'm old and fat and don't have to worry about it. Hopefully the girl in the candy shop is more like the people who welcome advances at work and less like me Good luck! |
LadyShadow
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divine1966, LadyShadow, Middlemarcher, randomuser101, scorpiosis37
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,302
14 22 hugs
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#22
5 Times When You Shouldn't Approach Women - Paging Dr. NerdLove
Helpful article for guys to understand how to approach women (and when not to). |
Bill3
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: Tainan, Taiwan
Posts: 221
6 |
#23
So Much BS over simple flirting incident. Many Bored People.. Ha Ha
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Shadix
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 988
9 5 hugs
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#24
I'm gonna be honest. These people telling you to leave her alone because women don't wanna be approached, they probably have an image of you in their head as some unattractive awkward guy that they personally would never want to be approached by, so they are imagining she also doesn't want you coming near her. Basically they are making assumptions about you and about her. If you had a picture of yourself posted and you were one of those young looking cute guys, many of them would be telling you to go for it. And if you also revealed she is an older women, they probably be would be telling you that it will make her day.
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randomuser101
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 565
8 |
#25
Quote:
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,302
14 22 hugs
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#26
Quote:
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Bill3, hvert, Myrto
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: Tainan, Taiwan
Posts: 221
6 |
#27
unbelievable 26 negative responses to a causal flirting story
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LadyShadow
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 988
9 5 hugs
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#28
Quote:
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,376
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
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#29
It’s good to follow basic guidelines. Men hit on me (well hit significantly less with age lol) in all kind of situations. Yes it could be annoying and creepy but who knows.
My dad approached my mom on the street. Just randomly. Was convinced she was the one for him. She was creeped out at first. The rest is history. me and my brother are in our early 50s and my parents are still together. So I guess you never know |
LadyShadow
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: The Other Side
Posts: 579
7 95 hugs
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#30
Quote:
Personally, I’m neutral on the subject. I’ve known people who’ve met their SO at their job and it worked out well. But, I’ve also been hit on many times at my job and find it annoying as hell because I am a captive audience. Sometimes for days, if it’s my patient. Let people talk it out. That’s what PC is for. |
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LadyShadow
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divine1966, LadyShadow
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Veteran Member
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 639
9 106 hugs
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#31
I think it's important to learn to understand other people's body language. There are no rules with this kind of thing, everyone is different, just please, notice other people's body language and try to think about what they may be feeling.
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LadyShadow
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LadyShadow, scorpiosis37
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,376
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
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#32
Quote:
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 988
9 5 hugs
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#33
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2016
Location: seattle
Posts: 12
8 3 hugs
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#34
Wow, I had no idea how much conversation I would generate with my post! I'll give you guys a little update:
I discussed this with my therapist. He encouraged me to go back to the shop and talk to the girl and even ask her out if I felt comfortable, which is exactly what I did. I made some small talk with her in the store and after she had finished my transaction, I asked her if she would like to get a cup of coffee sometime. She informed me that she had a boyfriend. I said ok, wished her a good night, and left the store. Yes, it felt very awkward and she probably felt a bit uncomfortable (I know I did). But I honestly don't believe that what I did was inappropriate. It was the most forward I have ever been, but at least now I have my answer and I can move on. |
Carmina, divine1966, hvert, LadyShadow, mote.of.soul, Open Eyes, s4ndm4n2006
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divine1966, LadyShadow, Open Eyes
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
15 24.1k hugs
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#35
Men who do not respect a woman’s right to be left alone will respect the suggested presence of another male.
Quote:
Last edited by Bill3; Mar 19, 2018 at 06:21 AM.. |
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divine1966, hvert, Middlemarcher, Myrto, scorpiosis37
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: Anaheim
Posts: 7
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#36
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,117
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.3k hugs
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#37
(((randomuser))), good for you that you got up the courage and decided to go back and "try" to step up and ask this girl out. Honestly, it's allowing yourself to simply learn how to actually take the next step and even if it did not end up with you having a date, you still allowed yourself to step up and "try". One can't learn to swim unless one at least gets in the water.
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randomuser101
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randomuser101
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 988
9 5 hugs
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#38
Maybe those of you suggesting this is innapropriate should come up with some better suggestions on how the OP can meet women or be more social. Unless of course you're also against that.
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Junior Member
Member Since Jan 2016
Location: seattle
Posts: 12
8 3 hugs
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#39
Quote:
If she felt uncomfortable, it was due to the awkwardness of the situation, not any inappropriate behavior coming from me. All I did was talk to her. I didn't touch her, I didn't make any crude remarks, etc. I even made sure to ask her out only when there weren't any other customers nearby, so as to make it less awkward. My whole life, I have avoided talking to girls and as a result, I have been very lonely for a long time. If I don't start being proactive, I'll never find a girlfriend. I've tried to take into consideration all of the responses in this thread, but honestly some of it is kind of hurtful. This notion that I somehow disrespected this girl by asking her out is simply not the case. Social anxiety is an incredibly daunting obstacle in life and being shamed for asserting myself is not helpful. I'm sure that some will disagree with this, but I'm just being honest about how I feel. This will be my final post on this thread as I feel that the issue has been exhausted by this point. |
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Carmina, divine1966, LadyShadow
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Carmina, divine1966, graystreet, LadyShadow, Shadix
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: The Other Side
Posts: 579
7 95 hugs
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#40
Quote:
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LadyShadow
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LadyShadow, randomuser101
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Closed Thread |
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