[graystreet]

Just having a bad one. Spinning my wheels again. I’m starting to have mild anxiety attacks, which I’ve had in the past, but not recently. When I think about going back to work after my foot heals, the anxiety is unbearable.

I have been nauseous for the last two days. Hungry, but when I eat, I’m sick. It would be very, very unlikely for me to be pregnant but after my negative test at the office, my doc said it was pretty early and to test again in two weeks (still, I have an IUD, I’ve had my monthly...very unlikely). But of course, being anxious, I can’t stop thinking about it.

Is it possible for the abuse I went through to be producing the anxiety? Like PTSD? There was no physical abuse. I’m not in a position where anyone in my life is going to hurt me, I know I’m totally safe. Still a little concerned about him suddenly taking legal action against me, just to be vindictive. but I don’t think he would want to bother, and my T says that if it doesn’t benefit the narc, he’s not going to do it. And it’s been two weeks and nothing (though things do take a while). I am not really missing him anymore, I think I’m letting go of the anger (or at least, processing things appropriately). I just cannot relax.

And I still feel like a terrible person. My T and I are going to be working on that, she said.

[SorryShaped]

PTSD does cause an anxiety feeling and can give off full panic attacks. Mine come with flashbacks which make it all worse. There wasn't physical abuse in my relationships either.
I'm sorry you're having troubles with this. I know it's tough. I hope you get some relief.

[bunnyhabit]

Originally Posted by graystreet

Just having a bad one. Spinning my wheels again. I’m starting to have mild anxiety attacks, which I’ve had in the past, but not recently. When I think about going back to work after my foot heals, the anxiety is unbearable.

I have been nauseous for the last two days. Hungry, but when I eat, I’m sick. It would be very, very unlikely for me to be pregnant but after my negative test at the office, my doc said it was pretty early and to test again in two weeks (still, I have an IUD, I’ve had my monthly...very unlikely). But of course, being anxious, I can’t stop thinking about it.

Is it possible for the abuse I went through to be producing the anxiety? Like PTSD? There was no physical abuse. I’m not in a position where anyone in my life is going to hurt me, I know I’m totally safe. Still a little concerned about him suddenly taking legal action against me, just to be vindictive. but I don’t think he would want to bother, and my T says that if it doesn’t benefit the narc, he’s not going to do it. And it’s been two weeks and nothing (though things do take a while). I am not really missing him anymore, I think I’m letting go of the anger (or at least, processing things appropriately). I just cannot relax.

And I still feel like a terrible person. My T and I are going to be working on that, she said.

worrying about returning to work, being pregnant and recovering from a bad relationship would naturally drive anxiety attacks for anyone. just work with your T thru these drivers for your anxiety. try to relax and block these problems from your mind by doing things you enjoy to lower your stress level.

focusing on all your problems alone will not help with your anxiety stessing.

[graystreet]

I’m scared that I’m starting to spiral, that I’m not handling this as well as I thought I was. I can’t do that. I don’t have time to lose my ****. I can’t lose it. I refuse to let him take me down. But it’s like I constantly need someone around telling me I’m okay, and I don’t have that. I KNOW I’m okay, and normally I like to be alone, but lately when I’m alone the house feels empty, the hours feel empty, and I feel empty.

I’m struggling.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by graystreet

I’m scared that I’m starting to spiral, that I’m not handling this as well as I thought I was. I can’t do that. I don’t have time to lose my ****. I can’t lose it. I refuse to let him take me down. But it’s like I constantly need someone around telling me I’m okay, and I don’t have that. I KNOW I’m okay, and normally I like to be alone, but lately when I’m alone the house feels empty, the hours feel empty, and I feel empty.

I’m struggling.

I'll tell you, then...
You're ok.

[graystreet]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I'll tell you, then...
You're ok.

Thank you.

I just had a panic attack in the shower. I seem to be breaking down every time I’m in the shower since he and I parted ways. Nothing happened to me in the shower with him, but after a particularly bad experience with him, I did take a shower at his house and just stood in there and cried. Idk if I just feel a release in the shower and that’s why I do it now or if it’s a trigger...

[Wild Coyote]

We are all very vulnerable while in the shower. No clothes, no armor, our defenses are compromised. Just a thought.

I hope you feel better soon.

WC

[Baci]

I agree with wild coyote about being vulnerable in the shower.
I have this issue quite often.
After I praise myself for doing what I set out to do.
Seems so simple to some, but I really understand you graystreet.
Keep pushing forward because you can do this.
🌟