advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anonymous40643
Guest
Anonymous40643 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 09, 2018 at 04:55 PM
  #41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazerac View Post
Try not to read to much into it. If he’s living with narcissistic parents who knows how he might react to a well meaning message. I agree with those who suggested that you ask him directly. I’m not at all discounting the hurt that you felt by his actions. I would be hurt too. But we all do hurtful things sometimes
TY! I haven't seen you in a while! Nice to see you again.

Yes, he likely overreacted and is in a bad place emotionally. I will consider asking directly, but it could be very awkward for both of us.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Soundoff
Member
Soundoff has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 79
10 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Apr 10, 2018 at 04:25 PM
  #42
I don’t think what you said was bad. I wouldn’t consider myself a party-go so I would of just took your message and moved on. But, your nephew might have unfriended just because you’re family. I don’t think he’s trying to shut you out or anything but rather he’s a young adult that might post things that he wouldn’t want his family to see. I wouldn’t suggest you talk about it again. You’ve already apologized so there’s no need to talk about it again. It may make you seem obsessive. You don’t NEED to be friends with your nephew on Facebook. Unfriending you doesn’t equal cutting you off/hating you. If you want to talk to him just text and call instead. Unless he’s specifically said he doesn’t want to be in contact with you anymore there’s nothing to worry about. My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???
Soundoff is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
divine1966
Anonymous40643
Guest
Anonymous40643 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 10, 2018 at 04:41 PM
  #43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soundoff View Post
I don’t think what you said was bad. I wouldn’t consider myself a party-go so I would of just took your message and moved on. But, your nephew might have unfriended just because you’re family. I don’t think he’s trying to shut you out or anything but rather he’s a young adult that might post things that he wouldn’t want his family to see. I wouldn’t suggest you talk about it again. You’ve already apologized so there’s no need to talk about it again. It may make you seem obsessive. You don’t NEED to be friends with your nephew on Facebook. Unfriending you doesn’t equal cutting you off/hating you. If you want to talk to him just text and call instead. Unless he’s specifically said he doesn’t want to be in contact with you anymore there’s nothing to worry about. My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???
TY so much for your post and perspective! You're absolutely right -- there IS no need for us to be friends on FB, he has not cut me off or out and he is a young adult in college. TY. This really helps!!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Deejay14
Poohbah
 
Deejay14's Avatar
Deejay14 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 1,453
5 yr Member
41 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 10, 2018 at 05:01 PM
  #44
Golden,
Don't let it bother you. My husband's cousin just deletes his account when he gets angry because someone doesn't agree with him and that happens three times a month. He even announces he is leaving and then comes back not 2 or 3 later. It's ridiculous!

__________________
True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson
Deejay14 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
justafriend306
Guest
justafriend306 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 10, 2018 at 05:16 PM
  #45
Oay, so I just read an admission you two aren't close. I can't understand why this is mattering to you. Just accept the fact that he for whatever reason chooses not to include you in his inner social circle. Going to such great lengths to be so upset and wishing to turn this around is concerning. This is almost reaching stalking proportions. Just move beyond this. Again, if you weren't close to begin with this should not be upsetting you so much. A phonecall would have sufficed.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40643
Guest
Anonymous40643 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 10, 2018 at 05:18 PM
  #46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deejay14 View Post
Golden,
Don't let it bother you. My husband's cousin just deletes his account when he gets angry because someone doesn't agree with him and that happens three times a month. He even announces he is leaving and then comes back not 2 or 3 later. It's ridiculous!
TY! I feel better now about it than I did at first, especially given some of the points made on here about him not being stable and being young, etc etc.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40643
Guest
Anonymous40643 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 10, 2018 at 05:21 PM
  #47
Quote:
Originally Posted by justafriend306 View Post
Oay, so I just read an admission you two aren't close. I can't understand why this is mattering to you. Just accept the fact that he for whatever reason chooses not to include you in his inner social circle. Going to such great lengths to be so upset and wishing to turn this around is concerning. This is almost reaching stalking proportions. Just move beyond this. Again, if you weren't close to begin with this should not be upsetting you so much. A phonecall would have sufficed.
Sorry, but where the heck do you get off telling me this is near stalking proportion????? HOW have I stalked him IN THE LEAST BIT?????

Your post is not only judgemental and unsupportive, but it is completely offensive and unappreciated. I am SO sick of people being this way here on PC. It makes me want to leave this forum altogether!!

In fact, I am far too happy in life to even be here anymore. Screw it. I am SO done.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,304 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 10, 2018 at 07:10 PM
  #48
Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
Sorry, but where the heck do you get off telling me this is near stalking proportion????? HOW have I stalked him IN THE LEAST BIT?????

Your post is not only judgemental and unsupportive, but it is completely offensive and unappreciated. I am SO sick of people being this way here on PC. It makes me want to leave this forum altogether!!

In fact, I am far too happy in life to even be here anymore. Screw it. I am SO done.
I don’t think you are stalking him (and other poster said “almost” not that you are stalking) but being so upset about Facebook is a bit concerning (not upset over lack of relationship with your family member but inability to post on his Facebook page). I think people are just trying to help you to get over Facebook drama and put it in perspective.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40643
Guest
Anonymous40643 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 10, 2018 at 07:28 PM
  #49
Yes people have helped but that post did not help and now you’re defending it when you yourself said it’s uosetting to be unfriended. I have a right to my feelings. My feelings are my feelings. To tell me to not be upset is not helpful.

Just forget it. I am not being understood. Many do understand. No need for this to continue. I am over it. Thank u to all those who have helped!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
justafriend306
Guest
justafriend306 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 11, 2018 at 07:37 AM
  #50
There is such a thing called a supportive criticism which namely is an attempt to get a person to see and acknowledge that their point of view and actions might be hurting them. This was entirely my suggestion. I see something concerning, and in an effort to actually be helpful, have made an attempt to point this out. Being supportive is not necessarily the offering of hugs and agreement. Being supportive is also encouraging someone to look at alternate sides to an issue and pointing out for acknowledgement that one's thinking might be flawed.

I stress that when one posts a thread, they do so at the risk of garnering varying responses including those of disagreement. This is what creating a discussion is about. This is how discourse works. If it is your mindset to not have points of iew counter to your own then perhaps creating a thread in the first place might not be a good idea.

Back to the matter at hand... yes, I do feel strongly that you are obsessed about this. Yes I do believe it has reached unhealthy proportions. I suggest you talk to a professional about this.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous40643
Guest
Anonymous40643 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 11, 2018 at 07:45 AM
  #51
Quote:
Originally Posted by justafriend306 View Post
There is such a thing called a supportive criticism which namely is an attempt to get a person to see and acknowledge that their point of view and actions might be hurting them. This was entirely my suggestion. I see something concerning, and in an effort to actually be helpful, have made an attempt to point this out. Being supportive is not necessarily the offering of hugs and agreement. Being supportive is also encouraging someone to look at alternate sides to an issue and pointing out for acknowledgement that one's thinking might be flawed.

I stress that when one posts a thread, they do so at the risk of garnering varying responses including those of disagreement. This is what creating a discussion is about. This is how discourse works. If it is your mindset to not have points of iew counter to your own then perhaps creating a thread in the first place might not be a good idea.

Back to the matter at hand... yes, I do feel strongly that you are obsessed about this. Yes I do believe it has reached unhealthy proportions. I suggest you talk to a professional about this.
Thank you for the lecture (no thank you). I don't need people to agree with me. If you have read the whole thread and each of my replies, you would see that I have been open to other perspectives and angles.

But to tell me to NOT be upset about something I am clearly upset over is NOT being supportive. That's denying me of my own feelings, and my right to my own feelings. By telling me that I am practically stalking, when there is ZERO evidence of it, is really offensive and off-based. And to tell me now that I am obsessing over it is really far off-based, given that I last wrote I am over it.

IF you had read through the whole thread, you will see that I processed this incident and wasn't half as upset the next day as I was in the moment.

This has not reached unhealthy proportions. Again, if you had read my replies, you will see that I calmed down and that it doesn't matter as much. I do NOT need a professional to talk to about this. You are exaggerating all your points.

Your previous reply AND this one tell me you have no empathy, no sympathy and do not know how to properly support someone on here OR how to validate their feelings. Feelings are not wrong to have and should never be criticized. They should be understood.

I don't need any further lectures, thank you. It's toxic posts like yours that make this a toxic place for me and make me need therapy! I am SO done here.

Last edited by Anonymous40643; Apr 11, 2018 at 08:14 AM..
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:21 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.