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Old 04-17-2018, 10:52 AM #11
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Default Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

Quote:
Originally Posted by antsk View Post
I just feel that my water might get shut off tomorrow because of me being laid off and I am trying to find a way to stop it so my kids can shower she is on vacation. It is tough none of us asked for me to be laid off. It isnt her fault or mine. But I fell she is on vacation and Im here trying to tell my kids we might not have water tomorrow.


Does her bailing on the vacation change the status of the bills?

How does her staying benefit your current situation?

Solutions can be discussed and brainstormed over the phone...

Utility departments can be approached for payment plans as solutions.

I’m still not understanding how her absence impacts you or the household negatively...

If utilities get cut, they get cut with or without her presence, so what exactly is the point of her staying home then?
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Old 04-17-2018, 11:10 AM #12
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

Sounds to me like you are resentful.
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Old 04-17-2018, 11:14 AM #13
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

Quote:
Originally Posted by antsk View Post
I just feel that my water might get shut off tomorrow because of me being laid off and I am trying to find a way to stop it so my kids can shower she is on vacation. It is tough none of us asked for me to be laid off. It isnt her fault or mine. But I fell she is on vacation and Im here trying to tell my kids we might not have water tomorrow.
Even though she went on vacation--I bet she knows (you sound like you have likely told her what is going on) and her vacation is likely not stress free. It is probably in the back of her mind. This situation is hard on everyone involved and she will return to it all soon enough.

Sorry you are in such dire straights.....
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Old 04-17-2018, 11:25 AM #14
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

Another thought I would add to the list here. First off, if the vacation is paid, no financial burden is on you. If her time off is paid, no financial burden is on either of you for her to take time off. So anything related to finances here is really not applicable, I suggest stop attributing your stress to those things.


The real problem is that you're stressed from being out of a job. Which is understandable and so is the idea that your spouse gets a paid vacation while you feel you are burdened by this laid off status. Most people might feel a little envious and maybe hurt because of that but the real issue here is the latter imo.


The thought I wanted to add to this is that it's a stressful period for you and possibly a strain on everyone in the family. Her going on a vacation may actually be a good thing as during periods like this people tend to take things out on each other more. her being on vacation won't affect your job search or finances. She doesn't need to be there for you to take care of your children, I would assume and your job search really is something you have to do yourself too. With that in mind look at this as relief from potential problems related to high stress in the home.


hope this helps.
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Old 04-17-2018, 11:36 AM #15
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

To me at the moment it is extreme chaos and it has been hard to make ends meet and function day to day with two of us working at. Our vehicle isn't functional and needs repairs and I can't get it fixed until I go back to work.

I just feel working on the financial issues and focusing on fixing our problems is more important the a vacation of choice.

The vacation didn't have to be right now! I know I get called back to work in 6 weeks and things would be better. Plus I was doing side work in the evenings to make some extra money, but now I can't for a week because I have to be home with the kids at night.

It is a unique situation and a total mess. It is hard work and stressful juggling all the financial issues along raising 4 kids for 2 people.
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Old 04-17-2018, 05:47 PM #16
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

Quote:
Originally Posted by antsk View Post
... a total mess. It is hard work and stressful juggling all the financial issues along raising 4 kids for 2 people.

Single parents do it all the time, we manage to figure it out, and for years on end. So I believe that you can manage to do it for a week.

Give yourself some credit, your wife certainly has faith in you as she clearly trusts you to handle it. Maybe you should follow her example.
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Old 04-18-2018, 12:07 AM #17
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

Quote:
Originally Posted by antsk View Post
it has been hard to make ends meet and function day to day with two of us working

I just feel working on the financial issues and focusing on fixing our problems is more important the a vacation of choice.

The vacation didn't have to be right now! I know I get called back to work in 6 weeks


raising 4 kids for 2 people.
Sounds like with a recall to work, this routinely happens?

Maybe when she gets back, it's time to rewrite the finances and budgets?

A vacation of choice? Isn't this her sister's 40th? Or a different relative?

With your return to work--would she really, truly be able to go??

I'm with Trippin on the single parents point. I've 3...haven't seen child support in 2.5years....
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Old 04-18-2018, 03:04 PM #18
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

I admit I would truly be upset. In fact, I did go through this situation.

There must be a background story here however that goes deeper than her leaving when the utility is about to be shut off.

Does your wife go out without you regularly and how do you feel about that? Is there then a deeper problem?

My ex was always going out and away without me. It bothered me as I never went out. His attitude was he didn't want to because he was tired and had just done so. Then go out a day later. I particularly was upset by all the business trips he took. Now, yes jealousy that he was having a good time when I wasn't was a big big factor. But an even bigger factor was that I had reason for suspicion of his behaviour while away.

So I wonder what is behind your own irritation. Is it entirely that she is having fun when you can't or does this go further.
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Old 04-18-2018, 04:51 PM #19
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
Sounds like with a recall to work, this routinely happens?

Maybe when she gets back, it's time to rewrite the finances and budgets?

A vacation of choice? Isn't this her sister's 40th? Or a different relative?

With your return to work--would she really, truly be able to go??

I'm with Trippin on the single parents point. I've 3...haven't seen child support in 2.5years....
R
Raising the kids is the easy part. It is the added burdens we have because of the financial troubles each day
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Old 04-18-2018, 05:03 PM #20
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Default Re: Wife goes on 10 day Vacation With Sisters

The trip did not have to be right, Two of the sisters are stay at home moms that live in the winter area and wanted to go now! And it wasn't the one who's birthday it was. So the two non-workers got their way! Even though it wasn't good for us now. I don't get laid off frequently but my company had to do temp layoffs.

As for the single parent thing, I am just saying everyone knows it is busy raising 4 kids without financial issues. Daily im pulling strings to get through each day right now.
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