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Old 04-20-2018, 04:05 PM #1
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Smile Introversion and Self-Modification for Better Communication

I say self-modification because this runs deeper than simple behavior modification.
Introverts usually have a hard time expressing their feelings in an open way and tend to keep to themselves a lot which can lead to loneliness especially when it's mixed in with low self esteem, poor self-confidence, constant discouragement and a history of half-hearted attempts to fit in that ended in failure.
I myself am not totally out of the woods in this journey but, I like to think that I'm making progress so, I'm going to offer a little help to those just getting started or who are too afraid to try.

First thing to do is to calm yourself, look inward at what holds you back and then, get focused but, also remain relaxed.
This is how you start and also if you're down on yourself then, put forth a real effort to stop it.
When you look in the mirror, smile! If it helps then, talk to your reflection and compliment him/her.
When you walk around in public, hold your head up, look people in the eye and smile politely or give a slight nod to them.
If they don't react or frown in annoyance just let it bounce off of you.
When you are in a department store, hardware store, electronics, toys, clothing shop or anywhere where people are browsing and shopping slowly and aren't in a hurry then, start here.
This is a great opportunity to engauge in casual conversation.
When you're on an aisle, looking at a product or article of clothing and someone near by is doing the same, just make a comment about the item and see how they react.
Not everyone is going to respond in a friendly or positive manner and if they don't then, don't worry about it and don't let it discourage you either.
Most of the time the other person will reply to your comment and then, it goes back to you saying something and before you know it you are having a conversation over something that you are both interested in. Just don't let it go on for too long even if you do get a bit excited and want to keep talking.
Remember that that person probably has to be somewhere else soon and can't stand around, talking about electronics or clothing half of the day. When they are ready to go let them go and when you are ready to go, politely make that clear, say your good bye's and leave. Don't forget the item you came to purchase though.
The more you do this the easier it will become.
Also look people in the eye when you speak to them so, that you can better understand the feelings that they are trying to convey during the conversation. It isn't a staring contest so, do away with all that nervousness about not looking people in the eye.
It will not get better overnight but, you will get better at it over time and eventually it will be a breeze and you will learn that it is very necassary during communication.
Contain yourself and control any excitement building up within
and don't talk over the other person.
Remember that everyone wants to be heard.
Conversation is a two-way street.

Anyway, I hope that this post is of help to someone and if anyone would like to add anything or ask any questions then, by all means do so.
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Old 04-20-2018, 04:49 PM #2
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Default Re: Introversion and Self-Modification for Better Communication

Much of what you describe isn't part of being introverted at all.. in fact introversion is very commonly attributed to traits that have nothing to do with it.

I agree if you have a lot of difficulty speaking in public, making friends and socializing that the above things may help. But those seem to be more attributed to social anxieties and not introversion.


Some clarifying information is here:
https://blogs.scientificamerican.com...ease-stand-up/


Also your description seems to frame introversion as kind of a problem or disorder which it is not, it's a personality type.
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:24 PM #3
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Default Re: Introversion and Self-Modification for Better Communication

Yes. You have a point and that is why I also pointed out that when mixed in with low self esteem, poor self-confidence, constant discouragement and a history of half-hearted attempts to fit in that ended in failure that it can make the introverted person even more quiet than normal thus leading further to the likelihood of going through life as a loner.
Some introverts prefer being alone but as the old saying goes
"Everybody needs somebody" so, I was just trying to give extremely introverted and lonely people a piece of advice that has helped me.
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