Owner of the bar is angry that I don't drink alcohol and told me not to return

Boy! I went to the bar tonight for the fourth time and he blasted away at me because I was the only customer there. He was saying that this is not a coffee shop and that I needed to drink alcohol. Then, he said because I don't speak Japanese well that other customers thought I was scary. I was really mad at his stupid remarks but told him I understood but did not like the Japanese way of talking behind my back and not telling me in person. So, I met another woman customer there and we hung out the other day. I told her I was not going back to the bar anymore. I am not sure if his exploding at me is called harassment but since he told me not to come back, I won't. He said unless I drink alcohol not to come to his bar. WTF!! He was all alone putting up posters and I asked if he needed help and he said no. He was outside for a few minutes while I entered the bar and sat down. Then, he came inside and blasted me away. I asked him if he was ok and he said he was. Whatever!! What an abusive jerk I thought. I have a right to not to drink alcohol and go to his bar. However, I'm not going to irritate him any longer nor do I want to be irritated by him. I will not go to his bar anymore!! He was so rude to me! I hugged him when I met him initially the first two times but realized he must have taken my hugs as a come on. I liked him as a person I told him, not as a man. I don't think he took it well. I made a mistake thinking he was Amercanized!! He had lived in America for about 20 years so I thought he understood my actions as being friendly, not as a come on. Oh well, I believe since I did not throw myself at him while he and I were alone, it made him mad! What an idiot!! I liked him but knew he is not my type. He drinks and smokes and probably does drugs. Who needs that in a man! I'm glad he got mad though because he showed his true character. What an abusive jerk!! So, goodbye to him and his bar!! Good riddance!

Sometimes when you get told that in a bar, the real problem is not about what you choose to drink. It's really about how much money you spend. If you are choosing inexpensive soft drinks, they figure you're not paying your fair share for the entertainment that being in the bar provides. A friend of mine went to a night spot to dance and didn't buy alcoholic drinks, just soda. The manager told her to start tipping the table servers.

So you can make yourself more welcome by tipping more. Also, even if you are not drinking alcohol, you can buy drinks for other people once in a while, like people you are hanging out with. It's all about how much money you are spending.

Thank you for the suggestion. However, he was so rude about his remarks that I can care less. If he had been nice about it, I would have been happy to spend more money. I was ordering food also while I was there so I was not just drinking tea. I think he had an issue with me not drinking alcohol. I told him I pass out when I drink. So, in other words, he did not want me in his bar. I can take a hint!! I will go somewhere else for kicks.

I also bought him a bagful of snacks and gave it to him on my prior visit and this is how he thanked me! What a jerk!! He said my not drinking alcohol influences the other customers. Whatever!! I must have a great affect on people. I don't think so but this is what he said. I have the feeling because I did not show interest in him as a man is what the real problem is! So, out I go to another show in town.

I am very sorry that you were treated that way. No one deserves such a treatment. I wish he had told you in a more gentle way, instead of lashing out on you.
The very same thing happened to me in the United States, in fact twice; and no, they do not like that we go to their bar and refrain from drinking. I have seen it happen to other customers as well.
Are there any coffee houses that you can go to instead?

I'd go back just to spite him

Well, so sorry this happened to you. Now, he has shown you who he really is—believe him. I wouldn’t go back either.

I also wouldn’t keep thinking about it. He probably isn’t. Why give this abusive man anymore of your precious time and life.

Find another handout and be happy!

Legally if this is in the US they are not required to serve you.....there was a recent case where a man was thrown out for wearing a make America great hat. It sucks but they can ask you to leave for any reason except perhaps a few protected ones like race.

https://boingboing.net/2018/04/26/tr...legally-b.html

I agree with what Rose was saying about the amount of money you spend. It's about business for them. If you are taking time away from a server or taking up a barstool that could be making more money, they will ask you to leave. But if you were ordering food, that could be different. He also could have been polite about it. No need to blast you for it. I often go to bars and order a virgin cocktail if I don't want alcohol. I've never had any problems with doing that. The price is a little cheaper than with the alcohol, but still more expensive than a soft drink. I also typically go with friends and not alone, so my party is ordering alcohol, just not me.

I'm sorry he treated you that way though. It was unnecessary. Find a different bar where the owner is nicer. Give someone else your patronage.

Seesaw

Thank you all for your suggestions and input. I am doing ok and am getting over the situation. I realize he needed to make money but he could have told me sooner and in a nicer way. I won't go to anymore bars by myself anymore. I will enjoy my free time some other way.

retailer of any kind treats me badly or they tell me not to return, I don't. Regardless of whether they are right or wrong. Not worth the fight.

keep in mind about every friend I have will probably hear about it so in the end most likely the bartender, owner, or manager is hurting themselves by treating anyone badly. Another thought on top of that is that if he could do that to you so easily, I imagine you're not the only one. He's only effing up his own business this way anyway.