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unaluna
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Default Jun 22, 2018 at 10:54 AM
  #81
Do you have a therapist? Thats who you could be talking to about your mental issues. Regular people arent really necessarily prepared or even interested.

As Freud said, when confronted by someone who said that he only did what a friend would do, "Ah, but where would one find such a friend?!"

PC people are always ready and willing to listen and discuss, but its like a special coffee shop where we all know why we are here
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Default Jun 22, 2018 at 08:18 PM
  #82
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
Do you have a therapist? Thats who you could be talking to about your mental issues. Regular people arent really necessarily prepared or even interested.

As Freud said, when confronted by someone who said that he only did what a friend would do, "Ah, but where would one find such a friend?!"

PC people are always ready and willing to listen and discuss, but its like a special coffee shop where we all know why we are here
Exactly right. Even when someone divulges their physical ailments, that isn't always the best signal that it is appropriate to talk about mental illness. I am not sure which country you're in, but in America, mental illness is still, unfortunately, stigmatized. It isn't like telling someone that you've had a stroke, or suffer from migraines. Sometimes, people may have dealt with a family member or friend with a similar diagnosis, and their experience at that time wasn't positive. They then carry this with them.

It is up to the individual when they want to talk about their mental illness, but that is usually saved for when you are in a relationship with someone, not the first few dates. The first few dates are meant to be light and fun. If you like each other, you have plenty of time to get to know each other--slowly.
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Default Jun 22, 2018 at 09:33 PM
  #83
Thank you unaluna and graystreet for your insight and opinion. No, I don't have a therapist and probably would not be able to find a good one here since I am a foreigner in a foreign country. I have pen pals like I said who I discuss my mental illness with and they have no problem with it.

I think I'd rather discuss my mental illness in the beginning though rather than wait because if they can't accept it early on, they are never going to accept it. I think I did the right thing about discussing my mental illness when he started talking about all his illnesses basically telling him that I can relate to his situation. I was not like going into extensive details about my illness but said may be two sentences that I take medication and that I have a mental disorder and that is that.


I have not talked to him about my situation or feelings in depth and so far so good. He is doing his thing, and I'm doing mine. He writes extensively on his face book page though and much of my news is coming from his page. He writes much about American politics and America's issues although he is not American. I believe, he is fascinated by America's issues and probably could talk about it for hours.


I'm doing well with him so far.


Hmmm, I talk more to my pen pals than to him but this is ok. I know I need to refrain from dumping on him like I do sometimes. I would not like it either if someone dumped all of their issues on me. So, I'm trying to be wiser and gauge whether or not I would like it if someone did the same thing to me.


Thank you both!
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Default Jun 23, 2018 at 07:38 AM
  #84
I'm worried about him. He posts messages on his news feed on facebook every ten minutes throughout the day. This is not a healthy habit but an addiction. I called me honey tonight so I called him sweety pie and told him that I hope he is sleeping ok. If he is, then don't worry about me worrying about him. But, he is on every ten minutes to an hour on face book. I know he feels a need to message but every ten minutes I'm receiving news about American politics or something about America. I worry about him!! Good grief! I know everybody has problems but it makes me wonder if he is ok. May be, he is. But why post so much? I could care less about American politics!! I would be happy for him if he is ok but it seems like he has problems. I will not ask him if he has problems but will go out with him next time and listen carefully to him. If he seeks help, this is different. But, if he seems ok posting to his followers every ten minutes, then I'll feel ok but wonder. His followers are not your usual laypeople but influential people around the world. I don't know where I fit in his circle, but am worried that he is addicted to posting on face book. When I met him for coffee, he seemed a bit disheveled and unshaven which I thought was because he is physically impaired in one arm and legs. However, thinking about it carefully, I don't think he is sleeping well and taking care of himself that well. This worries me a lot. However, until he thinks he has a problem, I will just wait, listen, and watch until he asks for help. Argh!! It makes me sad. Oh well!!
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Default Jun 23, 2018 at 07:58 AM
  #85
The next time I see my shrink I'm going to ask if he can recommend a therapist for counseling. I just thought about this after the suggestion.I could use some guidance for poor judgment. He probably will recommend himself because he speaks English though. hmmm, I will take whatever counseling I can receive though. I will ask and see what happens. Thank you, unaluna!
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Default Jun 23, 2018 at 09:37 AM
  #86
He probably isnt posting them, they just show up if the user follows them. Isnt that how facebook works?
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Default Jun 23, 2018 at 09:51 AM
  #87
I told my mother about this new man. And, she said he is a chameleon because he did many jobs in his life. What?!!! Whatever!! I think she is suffering from her head injury still. She makes as much sense as I do when I'm psychotic, but I love her. Her birthday is today and I wished her a happy birthday on skype this morning then she called tonight and wanted to say she is grateful for living a long life. I am happy for her!

He also said thank you for being concerned about him. Hmmm, I am worried but can't do anything for him unless he asks for help. I really hope he is ok and want the best for him too.


I am feeling ok and am happy about myself. I did my laundry and talked to my pen pals as usual. They are supportive because they suffer from mental illness too. I sometimes wish mental illness is not so debilitating. Some of my pen pals suffer much and it reminds me of the time when I was really ill and disabled. Looking back, I have come a long way. I remember still vividly the times I was homeless and hospitalized. Nobody was with me during these times except my family. I realized they stuck it out with me while I hit rock bottom a few times. Now, I try to be supportive of others in similar situations because I wish that there would have been somebody like me when I was going through hell besides my family.


I diverge again. Yes, I have insight to other people's problems and hope I can be of help to them if needed. Whether it be addiction or bipolar disorder, I try to be supportive if they ask for help and want my advice.


I am thankful for other people's advice and insight as well! I realized when I was really debilitated that being truly alone with no family is hard to accept and to carry on by oneself with such an illness is truly amazing and miraculous. I have family, that is, my parents. But, some don't have anybody and suffer the most miserable agony of it all. I find those who suffer with mental illness and have no one there to help them are true survivors. I could not have done without my family when in need. I am grateful towards them. I survived too but wonder if I were all alone, would have I made it this far? I would have probably not.


The new man in my life lost his parents recently. He is alone so to speak. I am going to be alone one day too. I hope that someone somewhere will be there for me when I need help again. This is all I ask. It does not have to be a friend nor family member, but just someone who will help if I ask for help.


I am procrastinating and should go to bed now.
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Default Jun 23, 2018 at 09:55 AM
  #88
No, he is posting them because I can tell he comes on very ten minutes to post messages while I am on. Also, it says on the messages who posted what and at what time. Moreover, I posted some of my videos today too. I did this to tell my so-called facebook friends my perspective and how I feel. I think it is innocuous if done sporadically but it is an addiction if done every hour or so around the clock.
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Default Jun 23, 2018 at 05:33 PM
  #89
Good news!! He refrained from posting throughout the night. I told him that sleep helps refresh the mind and is important for one's well-being. I'm not sure he slept but he did not post throughout the night. He just posted one message and that is it. He is disciplined!! I did not tell him that he is posting too often at all. But, I'm hoping he slept and is still sleeping. Yes!! He usually takes breaks on the weekends he says. I am happy to see that he rested or at least refrained from posting for awhile.


During the weekdays, he stays up all night to do videoconferencing with other business partners around the world. May be this is why he posts throughout the night but he also does during the day and it seemed like he did not stop for the past three days. Now, he stopped posting for awhile. I am happy for him.

Today, I do more chores. I will try to remain upbeat and motivated.


Oh, oh I just messaged him on facebook and he is on again. hmmm, may be I should not message him so early in the morning!! It is 7:30 am not so early but still I want him to sleep. He liked one of my videos. He is really sweet!
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Default Jun 25, 2018 at 02:06 AM
  #90
We exchange messages on social media still. He is very supportive. He likes my videos, and I like his. We are doing our own things. I realize this is good for both of us. I like posting videos too and can see the reason it can be addictive. But, I believe, he is doing ok. I am happy for him! My mood is cycling down and up though. It is difficult but I am managing to survive. I don't dump on him about my problems and neither does he. Thus, so far so good. I want him to be happy with me and vice versa. This is the first time I have not dumped on a man. It is sad but I am learning that being needy is not healthy and can cause much anxiety to others too. I am doing ok and having pen pals who I can talk to really helps. I am glad that people give their input on this site too. It helps me to gauge myself. I feel good today because the weather is beautiful here! I will enjoy the rest of the day and hope tomorrow is a good day too!
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Default Jun 30, 2018 at 10:55 AM
  #91
I am very happy for you.
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