MH friendly dating sites

Are there any? I'm sick of reading profiles on OKC saying 'no baggage' or similarly intolerant statements. I need someone who understands my need for my own space, difficulties with touch and physical contact, tendency to get anxious, especially about abandonment, low mood and introspectiveness at times, but also who would value my intelligence, sensitivity, gender fluidity, pro feminist values, and capacity/need for love and commitment. I feel a dedicated website where I can meet like minded people would be the way forward (somewhere like here but with dating).

Found that nolongeralone site but it seems too US oriented, literally less than a handful of people in the North of England, more around London but that's too far away.

Just went back there - 1 search hit in my locality and that was someone in a relationship already

what's the point?

Tried joining a hookup site last week just to try and meet someone as it wouldn't let me search without joining but it was gross - full of pornified people - so left straight away

I don't think any of the dating sites are mental health friendly, I've never come across any

It's just my avenues for meeting people are so limited. I don't go out socially at all - just too socially phobic - and have never been able to approach someone I like anyway. Tried joining various activity groups but all the women in them are married or in relationships or otherwise unavailable. Apart from that the only women I come into contact with are at work and I see that as being out of bounds as I never compromise my working relationships. Most of the time even if I do meet someone I like I just think I am too messed up, why would they even be interested in me, so that's why I was looking for something online but dating sites seem to be pretty useless, everyone wants people without baggage.

In my experience the dating sites for the MH community are riddled with predators preying upon the emotionally vulnerable. I joined several and found I started getting the identical messages from different people (usally claiming to be military by the way). When you google some of the paragraphs they come up over and over again. Scams, scams, scams. So please be extra vigilant. If you must my suggestion is to stick with pay-for-use sites. Most scammers can't be bothered with joining such sites. Furthermore, if someone is truly interested in finding a partner they won't think twice about such an investment.

You are right that on most of these sites people expect you to be damn near perfect. I've been around a lot of them in my day because I'm similar to you in that I have a very hard time socially and online is really all I can handle. It can be quite upsetting though. I tend to get a lot of flirts and messages from guys I have literally nothing in common with, like they didn't read a single sentence of my profile, and the few guys that I meshed well with on a personal level didn't like what they saw when I got the courage to show them what I look like. It hasn't done any favors for my self-worth...

As for sites I recommend, the only one I feel is worth anything (and it's not much) is eHarmony. You can send 5 questions for free to help weed out if someone is worth paying to talk to. They also do free communication periods sometimes where you can send messages for free. During that time if you like the person you can give them an alternative contact method to continue discussion beyond the eH site because the messages (and custom question responses) are not moderated. Some people put an alternative contact in their profile all clever-like to get around auto-moderation, but I wouldn't recommend doing so because you could get random creepers contacting you that way.

Also possible is to look up specific sites for your interest group. In my case gaming, so I searched for "dating sites for gamers" and got a decent one. Be very very very careful with anything that is 100% free or mostly free though. As justafriend said, these are great places for scammers, but also for extremely desperate people who don't really value a relationship for what it is. The site I found recently is mostly free (you can earn everything for free though) and I've talked to a few different guys on there and none of them seemed scammer-like, they just weren't for me.

Really aching for a lover right now. Not partner, just someone to connect with, even if occasionally. So desperate I even briefly considered escorts but not comfortable with that ethically and anyway I need an emotional connection, not just a physical one (plus it feels kindof soul destroying and empty). I don't think I have ever really had someone love me completely for who I am and who I could love back that way. I feel like someone in a desert, starved, thirsty, lost, abandoned.

The world is not MH friendly, so don't expect much from dating sites.