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Member Since Mar 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 162
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#1
Recently I have been completely withdrawn. I have no interest to connect with anyone. I took my mother out for mother's day and relapsed, drining alcohol only to realize I was doing it because that dinner was the first I had with my mother sober. This is just an example, but I felt like I don't have much to give to others in way of company.
I also have a week-long writers residency at the end of July. I'm excited, although you wouldn't know it because I'm in a depressive state right now. But knowing I'll be on an island with plenty of people - while I'm looking forward to this - makes me feel even more withdrawn right now. As if I need to absorb all my energy for that week. My mom wanted me to meet her new "friend" (prospective boyfriend) and hang out on Memorials Day. I'm not interested. I'm in between therapists, may have to get medication within the next couple of months, and had been diagnosed with yet another autoimmune disorder which means I need a new diet and to take supplements. In a support group, one of the women talked about how the social avoidance she's experienced actually helped her through her period of recovery. And that made me feel a bit better about me not wanting to spend anymore time with people than I need to. Has anyone gone through similar experiences? If so, what's it been like? How long did it last? What did you do during that time? __________________ My heart is down on its knees And no one is hearing screaming There's always something that's pulling me down, down, down And this is nothing new... - Phantogram Diagnosed Celiac Disease 2010 |
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Anonymous50909, mote.of.soul
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#2
I've experienced this off and on since age 21. I'm 35 now. Lol. The last time I was really concerned about it, was last year, when I was moving into my new apartment. The weeks before, I pretty much holed up and didn't do much with other people. Even though, I tried to keep my commitments, it was just so hard. Someone suggested, it was my way of dealing with that stress of moving. I believe that person was right.
I do in general have issues with avoidance of social things (hmm....and non-social things as well aka procrastination). It is something I'm continuously working on. I get better at it sometimes, and other times, when I'm not feeling well, I relapse. Best wishes at the writers residency! That sounds awesome and exciting even if you aren't feeling it, and probably something to be proud of, too |
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carcrashonrepeat
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#3
Carcrash, how are you doing today?
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Member
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 162
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#4
Thanks for your response and your support! I'm hanging in there, mostly up and down days. I haven't responded because I'm preparing for the residency.
Yes, I am proud. I'm counting down the days. Because I've disclosed my mental illness in my personal statement, the director is aware and stresses self-care. So I know I can retreat to my room when I need to. I don't feel too bad about my avoidance. It feels good and I think by the end of summer, it'll be diferent. It's just hard to explain to others without feeling their sense of disappointmen. I also wonder if they judge me secretly. __________________ My heart is down on its knees And no one is hearing screaming There's always something that's pulling me down, down, down And this is nothing new... - Phantogram Diagnosed Celiac Disease 2010 |
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Anonymous50909
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Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
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#5
I noticed you were diagnosed with Celiac. I was too, then my son’s pediatric gastro told me to have them double check the numbers because Celiac is very commonly misdiagnosed and my doctor reversed the diagnosis!
I think it ties in together...the digestive issues and the emotional. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 162
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#6
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Food, too, plays a big part of thie social avoidance. Because my diet is so restrictive, I'd like to have some control over what I eat. So for me a night out takes more consideration anyway. Add to that I'm sober but not at a place where I can hang out at a bar or among friends smoking pot and be okay. __________________ My heart is down on its knees And no one is hearing screaming There's always something that's pulling me down, down, down And this is nothing new... - Phantogram Diagnosed Celiac Disease 2010 |
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Anonymous50909
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