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Default May 20, 2018 at 01:38 AM
  #1
Back in the academy I used to ask some students I met some questions about homework. There were two times when they would point out "It is written in the book", "It was talked about in the lesson", or "You can find it in X"
I tended to ask lots of small questions

The sad condition is I rely on the internet to understand social situations, so one article told "People who are emotionally mature want others to learn to help themselves out instead of being dependent"
I personally hated the remark because it sounded condescending. Moreover, their remarks were not very friendly towards me. I tried befriending them but they could go on without me.
You could say, they dropped hints. But I see something else - I see "I will not directly tell you that I am bothered when you ask lots of questions because I don't value you enough to even bother, so buzz off"

This left a bad mark on me. I know I have issues studying right now due to a dire mental health condition. The reason I am not leaving academy is because I don't want to give up moving forward. Falling back to work is like going back and forth and I don't want that
I also don't want my family to be happy I am failing. They don't deserve that

Please help me out
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Default May 20, 2018 at 04:52 AM
  #2
I don't know if what you found on some blog or article is the correct assessment of the first 3 statements when asking questions about homework.

Dismissive yes. The whole angle about some deeper meaning about how they feel about you, probably not.

I don't know why they couldn't lend an extra few moments to try and study together with you, which would have seemed more appropriate, but they didn't. Do you need a tutor? Is this place cutthroat with competition?
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Default May 20, 2018 at 06:14 AM
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Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
I don't know if what you found on some blog or article is the correct assessment of the first 3 statements when asking questions about homework.

Dismissive yes. The whole angle about some deeper meaning about how they feel about you, probably not.

I don't know why they couldn't lend an extra few moments to try and study together with you, which would have seemed more appropriate, but they didn't. Do you need a tutor? Is this place cutthroat with competition?
There are some people who are cutthroat with competition, but I also met people who seem more... down-to-earth
I wanted to ask them for help but generally I can end up asking lots of tiny questions, and I'd wish someone would tell me they're annoying rather than... what others in my OP told.
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Default May 20, 2018 at 06:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian View Post
There are some people who are cutthroat with competition, but I also met people who seem more... down-to-earth
I wanted to ask them for help but I can end up asking lots of tiny questions, and I'd wish someone would tell me they're annoying rather than... what others in my OP told
That's the thing, I find those 3 replies typical of those that don't want to help. Not because your questions are annoying. But because it's such a standard reply...oh it's in chapter xyz or oh it's right there in the notes. Those that are either blinded by focus or maybe, just maybe...they don't have a grasp on the material themselves?
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Default May 20, 2018 at 07:09 AM
  #5
I have to say your experience just sounds typical of higher education.
My eldest is studying Chinese and businesses, and with the exception of brief outlining sessions with the lecturer they are expected to do it all themselves, even teaching themselves Chinese.
It could simply be that the other students don't feel they have any better grasp on what your asking than you do, so simply repeat what the tutor has said.

As for the 'hints' u feel u are picking up, I can't answer to that, but if your already feeling down or anxious it's possible to be perceiving negativity where there is indifference.. However I am not dismissing your feelings either, as I am not there so I couldn't possibly say for sure.

Not sure how best to tackle the situation, I just hope you find something positive to focus on, that relieves the situation somewhat.
All the best.

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Default May 23, 2018 at 11:32 AM
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I have to say your experience just sounds typical of higher education.
My eldest is studying Chinese and businesses, and with the exception of brief outlining sessions with the lecturer they are expected to do it all themselves, even teaching themselves Chinese.
It could simply be that the other students don't feel they have any better grasp on what your asking than you do, so simply repeat what the tutor has said.

As for the 'hints' u feel u are picking up, I can't answer to that, but if your already feeling down or anxious it's possible to be perceiving negativity where there is indifference.. However I am not dismissing your feelings either, as I am not there so I couldn't possibly say for sure.

Not sure how best to tackle the situation, I just hope you find something positive to focus on, that relieves the situation somewhat.
All the best.
They knew the material, but even if they didn’t have a grasp on the material, this where your assumption becomes more codradctionary, because were they to not have a grasp, they would say they do not know or would also ask for help, instead of dismissing to the notebooks rather than themselves
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