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New Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 4
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May 20, 2018 at 01:27 PM
#1
Greetings! I am glad to have this platform to help. I have been dating a European guy for 8+ years now and I adore him. We do not live together but he bought me a house a year ago and pays the mortgage. I am divorced with kids and he is a great provider for us both emotionally and financially. The issue is, I was married to an extremely abusive man and now I have the exact opposite, an extremely introverted and passive man. We never argue, we hardly ever see each other although we talk every day, and his parents do not know we are dating because they want him to date and marry someone from his culture and religion, and he is afraid to tell them about me. He says they will not accept me as he went through a really tough time with his ex and his family. I am having a lot of anxiety lately due to this feeling of being stuck. Every time I bring up moving forward he just says "it's tough" and that's it. We have broken-up in the past but because we are best friends, we wind up getting back together. Any advice?
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 Skeezyks, ThunderGoddess
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 841
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May 20, 2018 at 09:27 PM
#2
8 years of never meeting his family? If you continue "dating" him, you may as well accept that there will never be a marriage and you probably will not meet his family ever.
Does he live in the same area you do at least? If not, I'd also be wondering if he does have a wife that his parents know about somewhere. |
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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May 20, 2018 at 09:38 PM
#3
Hello Love: I see this is your first post, here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!
 I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.  I'm afraid there's not a lot I could offer with regard to your situation. The fact that you're living in a house your bf apparently owns (?), & is paying the mortgage on, certainly makes the whole situation even more complicated. Plus there are apparently some cultural / interracial elements to your situation as well as the involvement of your bf's parents to whom he apparently defers. It all makes for a really complicated situation, from my perspective.  Here's a link to an article, from yourtango.com, on the subject of what to do when your significant other won't commit. (Articles from yourtango sometimes appear in PsychCentral's archives): https://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr...e-won-t-commit I wish you well... 
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,260
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May 21, 2018 at 06:30 AM
#4
The only advice I can offer is to make sure you have prepared yourself financially in the event something happens to him.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,358
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May 21, 2018 at 09:22 AM
#5
He bought you a house and pays for it? So is he the owner? Is your name in
anything? If not then he bought a house where he lets you stay. Otherwise your name would be in it. He seems to be very well off. He can’t introduce you to his parents? He is likely married but can afford buying extra house. I am surprised he bought a house if he rarely sees you. The guy isn’t available. Either married or has a girlfriend. Talking every day doesn’t mean much |
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New Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 4
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May 21, 2018 at 09:00 PM
#6
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New Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 4
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May 21, 2018 at 09:17 PM
#7
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New Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 4
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May 21, 2018 at 09:21 PM
#8
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