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Newly Joined
Member Since May 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2
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#1
Hi everyone, ok so I need some advise. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He has two older kids that live with their mom up North about 6 hours away. He has spoken about how he hates his x for takimg them so far away. He hasn't seen his kids for a few years. Anyways his son is graduating high school in June and he told me he talked to his X and told her he's coming up to see their son graduate. Well I guess now he is gonna stay at her house for the weekend! He said he's doing it for the kids. I think it's shady and I don't like it one bit. And it sucks cause I wasn't even invited.. What should I do and is it wrong for me to feel this way?
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Perpetually Pondering
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Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
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#2
Is there a financial reason for not getting a hotel room?
Divorced coparenting scenarios sure do get messy. My gut says there's more than likely nothing to worry about as far as fidelity and trust. Was the spare room/guest bed offered as well meaning so that the boys could spend more time with their dad? |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#3
Personally I’d not date a man who hasn’t seen his minor kids for few years. It would be complete deal breaker. 6 hours away isn’t a different planet.
Staying in the same house with ex is no big deal and is no issue for me. Not seeing one’s kids is. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: U.K.
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#4
With divine here, staying at his ex's, not an issue. They are ex's for a reason. What's important here is him getting time with his kids.
However not seeing his kids for 3+ years, especially if his ex is ok with him visiting, is a complete no no! Absolute deal breaker. I think perhaps people's priorities here are a bit out of alignment. __________________ I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. Last edited by Erebos; May 21, 2018 at 07:15 AM.. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: U.K.
Posts: 1,090
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#5
....another thing, as a mother I wouldn't allow my ex to bring a gf I didn't know to stay around my kids either.
The kids are going to have enough to deal with seeing a man they don't know, and trying to get their heads round him being "dad". They don't need the added complication of a gf as well. Not a personal thing, just a child welfare one. This situation is going to be in his life forever, you should perhaps have a long hard think about wether this is something you feel able to deal with. Best of luck going forward. __________________ I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. Last edited by Erebos; May 21, 2018 at 07:18 AM.. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,419
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#6
Agree with Erebos re bringing girlfriend to graduation. If kids never met you, it’s not the place or time to introduce girlfriend to kids. It should be done at a different time
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