advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Shelbytamara
Newly Joined
Shelbytamara has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2
5 yr Member
Default May 20, 2018 at 07:20 PM
  #1
Hi everyone, ok so I need some advise. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He has two older kids that live with their mom up North about 6 hours away. He has spoken about how he hates his x for takimg them so far away. He hasn't seen his kids for a few years. Anyways his son is graduating high school in June and he told me he talked to his X and told her he's coming up to see their son graduate. Well I guess now he is gonna stay at her house for the weekend! He said he's doing it for the kids. I think it's shady and I don't like it one bit. And it sucks cause I wasn't even invited.. What should I do and is it wrong for me to feel this way?
Shelbytamara is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
healingme4me
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me Needs a little reading lamp.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
4,168 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 20, 2018 at 08:40 PM
  #2
Is there a financial reason for not getting a hotel room?
Divorced coparenting scenarios sure do get messy.
My gut says there's more than likely nothing to worry about as far as fidelity and trust.
Was the spare room/guest bed offered as well meaning so that the boys could spend more time with their dad?
healingme4me is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 21, 2018 at 03:51 AM
  #3
Personally I’d not date a man who hasn’t seen his minor kids for few years. It would be complete deal breaker. 6 hours away isn’t a different planet.

Staying in the same house with ex is no big deal and is no issue for me. Not seeing one’s kids is.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Erebos
Poohbah
 
Erebos's Avatar
Erebos has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2016
Location: U.K.
Posts: 1,090
5 yr Member
58 hugs
given
Default May 21, 2018 at 04:22 AM
  #4
With divine here, staying at his ex's, not an issue. They are ex's for a reason. What's important here is him getting time with his kids.

However not seeing his kids for 3+ years, especially if his ex is ok with him visiting, is a complete no no! Absolute deal breaker.

I think perhaps people's priorities here are a bit out of alignment.

__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.
CoCo Chanel.

Last edited by Erebos; May 21, 2018 at 07:15 AM..
Erebos is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Erebos
Poohbah
 
Erebos's Avatar
Erebos has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2016
Location: U.K.
Posts: 1,090
5 yr Member
58 hugs
given
Default May 21, 2018 at 04:26 AM
  #5
....another thing, as a mother I wouldn't allow my ex to bring a gf I didn't know to stay around my kids either.

The kids are going to have enough to deal with seeing a man they don't know, and trying to get their heads round him being "dad".
They don't need the added complication of a gf as well.

Not a personal thing, just a child welfare one.

This situation is going to be in his life forever, you should perhaps have a long hard think about wether this is something you feel able to deal with.
Best of luck going forward.

__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.
CoCo Chanel.

Last edited by Erebos; May 21, 2018 at 07:18 AM..
Erebos is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 21, 2018 at 04:53 AM
  #6
Agree with Erebos re bringing girlfriend to graduation. If kids never met you, it’s not the place or time to introduce girlfriend to kids. It should be done at a different time
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:47 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.