Broke it off - am I mad?? Did I do the right thing??

Helloo,

I've been talking with a man for the past 3 or 4 weeks and we've only met twice. I've posted about him before, the guy who seemed to be rushing into a relationship (talking about our future together, cancelling our third date, presumably telling me things I might wanna hear) and then we decided it was a bullet dodged.

Well, I asked him if he ever wanted to meet me again because it seemed like he really didn't.

He said "I thought if you were interested in meeting again, you'd message - if you didn't message, you wouldn't want to"

I interpreted this as "I'm not bothered if I see you again". My therapist says he's probably dating loads of guys. Which would suggest he has no problem letting me go because he has all of those backups. I really don't like that idea at all so I'm removing myself from that situation.

Anyway, he said something along the lines of "I like you, I think we got on, believe it or not. If you wanna move on, I'll understand" so I took it like this: He can't be that interested and if he truly liked me, why was it me who had to message him for all of this to come out? It seems like an easy save as well as a polite subtle let down. Or am I mad??

It was all very matter-of-fact. I didn't 'feel' like he was interested. We hadn't spoke in days.

So in conclusion, I decided not to see him or anyone again any time soon. Dating is truly too complicated for me at the moment.

Hmm. Honestly? I think you're reading into things. Men are pretty basic and straight forward. Women tend to read in between the lines and interpret what men say. It seems to me he has said he likes you, you get along, he's interested but he'll understand if you're not. He's also said that if you're not interested, he figures you won't message him. That's pretty straight forward. Men can be very matter of fact.

However, there were red flags before..... so, perhaps this IS a good one to let go, based on that alone. Otherwise, I think you're reading into things a bit too much.

Thank you for replying, golden_eve

It's definitely finished but now I feel horrible - I just finished talking with someone who says I didn't give him a chance but I think I did? I was thinking about checking in to see how he's feeling but I think that might be a bit O.T.T?? Either way, I wanna make sure he's not feeling bad about anything

Hon, is this the same guy who said his aunt was suddenly in the hospital who broke off your date?

It is my belief that he lied, but I could be wrong. But that seems like an excuse.

And he DID rush in... RED FLAGS.

Don't worry about his feelings, worry about yourself, foremost. He will move on to other people very quickly. This seems like a bullet dodged. You did give it a chance... seriously, he will move on. You only met up a couple times, so he can't be devastated. Try to let it go? This would have been unhealthy. See who else is available to talk to & flirt with.

You’ve met only twice. And he honestly did not sound too interested. I doubt he feels bad. I’d let it go and not worry about him

That guy was all over the shop. Honestly and that thing with the hospital visit...meh.
Trust your instincts, something was weird.