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kreg
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Default May 24, 2018 at 08:34 AM
  #1
I know people who just can't stop talking when someone engages them. I fall in there and have noticed it can result in people avoiding me. This is serious and has really hurt my reputation.
I have a friend who just can't shut up. I paid him a visit when he moved back. I was there for over two hours and could barely get a word in. He talked constantly. On FB everyday I get over a dozen notifications that he has updated with superficial gab. He's even mentioned suicide. Another friend who talks too much and has lost business clients-I know because I was present, stopped over to plan for an upcoming job. He and I and my wife who also talks too much and with little quality went on for over an hour. I thought "holy crap there are three of us babbling here". Other than brute force will power is there any medication or therapy that would help me to calm down and be better socially? I have thought about forcing myself to work harder at my own interests and this would help I think. Is there any official personality disorder classification for this condition?
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Default May 24, 2018 at 09:29 AM
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Well I am unsure about an outside solution (medication, therapy) for this issue. And yes, I find myself at times being such a person. It horrifies me afterward.

I'd like to know how often you find yourself in situations with other people, socially, work, or otherwise. I know in my own case that such situations (my gabbing at length) seem to arise during periods I have been alone. It is as though I am bubbling with the need to finally talk when the opportunity arises.

How do I manage with this? I have a signal I have agreed upon with several acquaintances. If I am in public with them and start to talk incessantly they give me that signal so I can take heed and slow down. I have noticed too the more I write my thoughts and feelings down the less I have a need to discuss them with others. Finally, and I know this sounds a bit crazy, I rehearse conversations I know are likely to arise. I at times them have a script to follow when they do.
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Default May 24, 2018 at 06:20 PM
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I see what yr saying and agree. I notice seniors who don't have a lot of social life really cut loose when they find an opportunity to chat. I still work part time and have made several bad impressions on people from being too quick to talk. It's been going on for 5 or more years. I'm a little better now having learned from experience. I stay back more often except for a few close acquaintances. I try to put more quality into things I talk about. Things more mature people do. and say less.

It seems like there is something chemical inside me. For years I suffered from depression, could hardly say much of anything, had no energy. then during the 60's the drug years I discovered that taking amphetamines would have a carryover effect for several days where I was more energetic and talkative. It worked like a medicine. But then after 40 years it seemed like the depression left and I was swinging towards the manic state and that's where I am now to a degree. I have too much energy so I'm too talkative. The other day the wife asked me if I was taking speed-I was getting so much done-but no. Sometimes I try to foresee situations so I can prepare not to say much but that's very hard to do once you are in the situation. I have driven some close friends away by my conduct which at first really hurt and I wanted to kill them but then I realized you have to own up to your own conduct. That relived the vengeance.

Last edited by kreg; May 24, 2018 at 06:37 PM..
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Default May 24, 2018 at 08:37 PM
  #4
When you go see the first friend, you can say upfront something like "I came over because I am free for an hour." Then, when the hour is up, comment on that and then get up to leave."

Mentioning suicide is a big concern though. Perhaps you could encourage him to speak more about that? You could ask what his reasons to die are, what his reasons to live are, and ask if he has a plan and the means needed to implement the plan. If what he says still is concerning, I suggest that you call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), the National Suicide Lifeline, and ask them for advice on what to do next. For one thing, you could encourage him to call that number.
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Default May 25, 2018 at 07:37 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
When you go see the first friend, you can say upfront something like "I came over because I am free for an hour." Then, when the hour is up, comment on that and then get up to leave."

Mentioning suicide is a big concern though. Perhaps you could encourage him to speak more about that? You could ask what his reasons to die are, what his reasons to live are, and ask if he has a plan and the means needed to implement the plan. If what he says still is concerning, I suggest that you call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), the National Suicide Lifeline, and ask them for advice on what to do next. For one thing, you could encourage him to call that number.
You are right. I'll pay him a visit. the suicide talk calls for attention. His wife recently died and they were very close. I've been avoiding him for the very reason some people avoid me-too talkative. I'll have to tell him not to stop over drunk at 11pm. I don't mind if he stops over drunk but don't make me the last on his list when he goes out for the evening.
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Default May 25, 2018 at 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by kreg View Post
I know people who just can't stop talking when someone engages them. I fall in there and have noticed it can result in people avoiding me. This is serious and has really hurt my reputation.
I have a friend who just can't shut up. I paid him a visit when
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I have to say alcohol is part of my problem along with MJ. Too much of those things degrade the brain and continue long after any hangover symptoms- which I'm sure plays a part in being too talkative and other social performance issues. Then you say "you need to cut down on drinking and get help". and I say good luck on that one. But alcohol is so nice in the evenings. and if I can stay away from smoking the erb that is a big help. Don't let anyone tell you there's nothing wrong with weed. Not that it can't be pleasant at times but it too degrades you as I know from over 50 years of experience. Then you combine it with alcohol and there you go. Anyone who achieves bigger things in life does not use weed for that reason and not because someone in authority told them. But if you don't really care where yr going/have no ambitions then go ahead and smoke it. gotta go. I've chatted y'all up and I've got work to do.
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