I hate my life and can't even talk to anyone about it

The only real friend I thought I had I've finally figured out that we barely have anything in common - the main thing, I guess, being my sister who is his sort of girlfriend. But I can't really talk to him about anything that matters to me, especially about the issues with my life. Not to mention that he disappears for months at a time (both physically and virtually), whenever my sister isn't also around.

The only person who concerns herself with my wellbeing is my mother, but we also have no common interests, and when she means well, she at best annoys me and at worst drives me crazy. It's weird that I appreciate that, because without her I'd have no real human contact whatsoever, but I would prefer anything else.

And my sister - we barely communicate. She decided to betray my trust and also snap our connection at the worst time in my life - well, the period that's kind of continuing up to this point.

I suppose that's what therapists are for. But I think the chance of me getting one is about as much as a real friend.

So, as usual, a last resort - writing this.

Or maybe that's the only thing possible. Because my problems don't change, so it kind of stops feeling worth it talking about them with the same person. And the internet kind of offers new sets of eyes, at least potentially. Which is not to say that they are likely to bring new solutions, but I feel less bad about bringing up the same problems.

I know it's not direct contact, but you can talk here.
I miss people a lot of the time too, until I get into contact with some for very long.
You're gonna have to do the obvious thing here, make new friends. It is not easy, but it's worth it eventually. I've got my few friends and I love them dearly but a lot of the time I can't even stand them. It's just that people confound me and I accept it, that they will do so

I'm sorry you're going through this. With recent changes in my life I've been distant with my friends, so while I feel alone it's mostly because I tend to disappear from other people's lives. This has always been the case, but now it feels more like a conscientious decision instead of one that just suddenly jappens. I tend to have the unrealistic habit of presenting myself to other people in a specific way, not wanting anyone to know what I'm going through. No one ever really gets to know me and it's both reassuring and lonely. I find connecting with people online helps. For some reason I can confide in strangers more than I can confide in people that i trust.

Making friends,whether new or not, is easier said than done. It happens when you're open to it, I suppose. An equally harder thing to accomplish is to try and fix the friendships you do have by being honest with the people close to you about who you are, what you need, and redefining what friendship means for both you and the people you love. These are things I struggle with but I have faith.

Best wishes to you

- Phantogram

Hello Arche,

Your mom sounds like my mom. I’m taking a break from my mom and grandmother. They trigger me. PC I a supportive place. I went a wonderful group of ladies in a support group.
Then I moved out of state. I went to a support group last week and it was ok. I’m going to try a NAMI support group next month. Before I moved out of state I use to attend a knitting and quilting class. Then once a week I went to ceramics class.
It was nice to get out my apartment and do things I enjoy.

Best wishes

I'm half of a mind to quit my job, if people around me are just going to torture me. My job is already torture, if they're not going to give me space to at least manage it... maybe I'll just deal with one source of pain at a time....

No one asks you if you want to sign up for this life caper ... your just parachuted in kicking and screaming into the world . It's not as rosy as the glossy brochures . It's tough , people lie to you from the beginning , it's a while until you realise you can't actually be anything you want to be , but along with 95% of the rest of the world your trained to shut up , be a cog in the mindless treadmill just to survive ..
But....
Your a long time dead ...and you only get one shot at this .
So ...
try to do the best you can and stay positive . Success is never guaranteed in anything , but a defeatist attitude pretty much guarantees failure . Success is also not a skill ...it's a habit . You just refuse to be beaten and you get better at that , time after time . No excuses .
Hope your feeling more hope today ...keep fighting .