People

This morning I really felt I'd lost faith in humanity. There are some people in my life, and who I associate with sometimes, especially lately (all at once, it seems) who really bring me down. I can't talk about what it is they've done and how they've treated me though, without feeling badly in this moment. So I will pass on telling the details. But I think I'm worth more. I don't want to associate with anyone anymore who brings me down. I deserve to feel happy, uplifted, and good with my friends.

I kind of want to unfriend someone on Facebook because of this. But I know it would cause drama. For me, and her. So I guess just leave her there and keep her on unfollow. She asks me to look at her page all the time (in person). But she triggers me. And she never likes anything on my page. That may sound petty. I don't care. And I think it's weird of her to ask me to look at her page.

There is another person, who I feel like has treated me poorly, who I will confront. Because I value her friendship and her as a person.

But yeah I think its time to ax some people and just cut some out of my life right now. Even if its not officially "I'm cutting you out of my life."

I don't deserve poor treatment. And I don't want to be around people who are going to bring me down. I need to protect myself. I think, being someone who is kind and humble and insecure... people see that as weak, and possibly able to mess around with me. I definitely fee like I deserve better friendship-wise though. And I don't want to just take whoever is presented to me (aka, who shows interest at first). I feel like I meet a lot of people who are either a.) willing to be friends but are weird / messed up and judge me on my kindness and step all over me, or b.) people who are normal, but who would never be friends with someone without a job. So they are judgmental too. There's GOT to be a middle ground. Even if I have to say syonara to the jerks, and be more alone, and wait for better friends.

I know this may be difficult, but maybe you could reach out to this person or group and tell them where you feel wronged.

Maybe they don't know what they're doing, or maybe they do and they only treat you poorly because they know you won't say anything.

I had a friend who mistreated me, and I took it for a while, but one day I talked with her about it and how it was making me unhappy and she stopped.

It's scary to do but it feels good no matter their reaction.

Self-care is important, so is self-protection. I have personally made a point of eliminating or distancing myself from those who bring negatives to my life as opposed to positive. In order to be happy, we must be around those who lift us up and enhance our lives in positive ways. No room for negativity if one wants to be happy, or else you're going to feel negative yourself. So kudos to you for stating these things to yourself, knowing your limits and boundaries and drawing lines!

Hi Wasabi, I appreciate your advice. As I said in my original post, I am going to confront one person on this. The other two people I'm thinking of, one is a new person and easy-ish to just not return calls. And the other person is a girlfriend of a cousin. She is very strange, she lies, and she is the one who I'm considering deleting from Facebook. She really triggers me. We had a fight on Facebook once, through messenger, 2 years ago. Perhaps she does need to know that the way she's acting is unacceptable. I do actually think the way she acts bothers me because I haven't said anything. But I at the same time, am not comfortable confronting her at his time. She is soooooooo wishy washy, inconsistent, tells me she loves me but keeps things from me.

Edit: Facebook family girlfriend of cousin, I'm just going to leave it and not say anything yet. I think I hate her. Lol. And feel I need to do something. But she got me a gift card to the bookstore for my birthday. Ugggghhhhh. I hate her. I think I need less time on Facebook. I don't spend much time there, to be honest.

Thank you! Yes.

It’s up to you how you chose to handle each person. When I first was diagnosed in 2012 my best friend since 8th grade stopped returning my calls and text messages. In my opinion she just could not or did not want to deal with a mentally ill friend. I knew her for 18 years. I have one friend now. She does not have a MI and she knows that I do. She also knows that I receive disability. However I have known her for 23 years. She knew me back when I was working and in college.
I deleted most of my mom’s mother’s side of the family off my FB a few days ago. I’m not close to any of them we never talk or see each other at holidays. I only see them at funerals so I do not need them on my FB being nosy. When I lived in Nashville I went to support groups. I met some wonderful women in the group. One lady was a LPN. She was on SSDI we kept in contact after I moved. Then one day I called and someone else answered the phone. They said I had the wrong number. We stayed in contact for about 3 years. I miss her so much.

((((Coco))))

It sounds like you've experienced this and struggled with friendships too. Don't give up, ok? Thanks for the support and validation.

I have severe abandonment issues. For the first 30 years of my life I put up with everything. Even if someone broke my heart, I would go back an apologize. When people hurt me I never fired back or even really defended myself. Being surrounded by toxic people just isnt worth it.

I wont put up with it anymore. I look at each relationship and ask what I give and what I get. Then i decide the value. If i value a friendship, i will approach them with my concerns. If i dont i simply walk away.

I have found my worth. I choose to be surrounded by people who see if too. Your tribe exists, whether you have met them yet or not. I promise. Good people exist. My personal experience? All the best people are at list a little crazy. (And I identify as crazy, so it's not an offense)

Hey, thanks. I appreciate this a lot. A lot of wisdom and self respect in your post. I agree and this is something I aspire to.

The only friendship I value from these three friends who upset me, is the person who I said I was going to confront, in my OP.

I love that you have found your worth and are practicing ways of asserting your worth. Again, that's my goal too. I kind of go through cycles. Where I'm more empowered about myself, and then, less (and when I'm less empowered and self respecting, I'd also have to say I'm less mindful of whats going on for me in this area of my life. So here's to being mindful). Self empowerment, assertiveness in all my relationships, trusting my gut about others (I'm right a lot!!), self respect, self protection and boundaries. These are all things I want to practice daily in my life.