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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 55
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Jun 02, 2018 at 01:02 PM
#1
Hey everyone,
A few days ago I had to pick up some baby stuff from one of my husband's friend's house and when I was there, his friend and I were talking. On my way out, he grabbed me and kissed and groped me some... I pushed him away and yelled at him and just ran out of there... It's been worrying me so much.. should I tell my husband what happened? I'm scared he will twist things and get upset... I haven't seen or spoken to his friend since the incident.. but I feel so sick over it.. Should I say something? Or should I just leave it alone for now and see what happens? I feel so confused... |
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 Buffy01
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 Buffy01
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 360
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Jun 02, 2018 at 01:06 PM
#2
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Your husband is using drugs and abusing you. Your fear that he will twist this and get upset is a reasonable fear. I would not tell him about this. I would also work on leaving as soon as possible. |
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| Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Jun 02, 2018 at 01:08 PM
#3
So, this man basically made advances on you that were not welcomed, invited, or even wanted?? EW!!!! This man was completely in the wrong, you did nothing wrong, and it seems you did not reciprocate.
Why would your husband take it the wrong way if you told him? The poster above says your husband abuses drugs and you? I don't know the backstory, but if that is the case, then no, I wouldn't tell your husband. And yes if your husband abuses you, can you leave him?? |
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| Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 360
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Jun 02, 2018 at 01:10 PM
#4
I would encourage everyone to read this poster’s history and take it into consideration. Yes, you should be able to tell a spouse that this happened. But in an abusive situation, it is not a good idea.
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| Buffy01
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*Laurie*, Buffy01, Erebos, lady411, s4ndm4n2006
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Jun 02, 2018 at 01:11 PM
#5
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| Buffy01, Middlemarcher
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Buffy01, Middlemarcher
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Jun 02, 2018 at 02:25 PM
#6
For safety reasons I wouldn’t tell your husbands history of abuse and drugs. Unfortunately your husband’s friend sounds just as horrid as your husband. I don’t pretend to understand of course but you are in a bad situation and you owe it to your child to consider leaving
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| Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 55
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Jun 02, 2018 at 03:15 PM
#7
My husband hasn't hurt me since the last post I wrote... He has been okay.. but I don't know how he would react to this...
It's all just crazy... This guys has been his friend since we were all in high school... He has a girl... Why would he do this..? I want to be honest with my husband but I'm scared it will blow up... But then I can't help but feel like if I don't say anything and he somehow finds out, it will be worse... |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
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Jun 02, 2018 at 07:11 PM
#8
My hope for you is to get away from all of this bad in your life
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 360
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Jun 02, 2018 at 09:04 PM
#9
Your post about him hurting you was 3 weeks ago. He doesn’t stop being an abuser because he hasn’t hit you in 3 weeks.
I also hope that you get away from all the bad people in your life. It’s not surprising that an abuser would have terrible people as friends. It is not normal to have to worry that if your husband finds out that someone forced a kiss on you and groped you, that he will get upset at you. |
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healingme4me, s4ndm4n2006
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 55
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Jun 03, 2018 at 11:02 AM
#10
His friend texted me and keeps asking if we can talk... I told him no but he keeps texting me...
I'm starting to worry that he might tell my husband.... I feel like I should tell him before his friend tries to... But I'm so scared it will blow up... Should I just talk to his friend..? Just see what he has to say..? I don't know what to do... I'm worried he might try something again if I talk to him.... What should I do..? |
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| Bill3
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Jun 03, 2018 at 11:06 AM
#11
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Poohbah
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Location: U.K.
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Jun 03, 2018 at 11:46 AM
#12
Tough situation, problem is you could tell your husband now, and he would take your side, until next time he goes on a binge, or has a bad come down.
Then he will twist it up into some kind of deluded mess, where he believes you were in on it. I have been an addict for 24 years and I promise you all that matters to him is his fix. And if he can use this as an excuse to get melted he probably will. __________________ I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 55
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Jun 03, 2018 at 12:01 PM
#13
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| Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 55
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Jun 03, 2018 at 12:04 PM
#14
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 360
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Jun 03, 2018 at 01:00 PM
#15
Don’t talk to the friend. He is not a safe person.
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Jun 03, 2018 at 01:19 PM
#16
Quote:
Just be prepared that this will be the future of your daughter. She is growing up thinking than beating up on women and doing meth is normal so she’ll choose a man just like the one you chose. This will be your daughter’s life. Although maybe someone might report to authorities what’s going on in your home and your kid will be taken from you. |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 55
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Jun 03, 2018 at 01:39 PM
#17
Quote:
He hasn't used meth again... I've been watching him very closely... He was being a little better... He's not a bad father... He hasn't hurt our daughter.. we take care of her... |
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 360
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Jun 03, 2018 at 02:21 PM
#18
Would you want your daughter to be with someone like your husband when she grows up? Would you be ok with that?
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Jun 03, 2018 at 02:32 PM
#19
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 55
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Jun 03, 2018 at 02:41 PM
#20
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