Very Inconsiderate In-Laws

I'm feeling very fed up and need to vent. My boyfriend has been living with my dad and I (my dad had 2 heart attacks/was in a coma for a year/kidney failure) for a couple years. I'm currently working full time and going to school full time (Were both 25). Well my possible in laws decided to come visit us without even asking if it was a good time. I'm in my finals week and I'm beyond stressed out to be catering to guests. Despite that I tried to make the best of it. Well to make things so much worst, the first day they came here (last Sunday) my dad went to the hospital for heart failure/coughing up large amounts of blood so my stress level rocketed. I wasn't able to get an extensions for finals. I have both his parents staying with us in our extremely small apartment and his sister and brother in law with 2 kids consistently visiting.

Well my problem now is that I'm first pretty mad that my in laws didn't care much about me being in finals upon their scheduling. When my dad was in the hospital, they basically guilt tripped me to leaving my dad because they don't know there way around and my fiancé was at work. When I came home to study, his sister and brother in law with 2 children and a friend came to my house without even asking if it was okay for their kids to bring friends. I tried to block it all out and study despite their being nonstop screaming, only for the kids friend to break my coffee table that belonged to my mom(broke all the glass). Rather than the sister apologizing to me, she quickly left with the kids and didn't even tell me about it or mention it after that. I found out by walking out and seeing glass missing from my table.

Oh and the sister/husband won't watch their kids at all. I'm basically babysitting which I would not mind, but I'm in finals and extremely sleep deprived from sleeping in the hospital/going back and forth. They also keep torturing my dog, by trying to poke her in the eye despite me asking them to please leave her alone several times in front of their parents.

My dad is thankfully home now, but still very weak. They were supposed to leave today, but once my dad said it's a shame they couldn't stay longer just out of a courtesy, they extended their stay. So right now I'm in the library locking myself here since it's basically a nut house in my home. It's not like they're a light presence too...the mom is taking over my room to watch her dramas or constantly cooking while the dad is taking up the living room. They are also going in and out of the apartment to go smoke outside by slamming the doors. They don't sleep together also so I'm kind of forced to sleep on the floor since the couch is not an option.

Don't get me wrong...they're kind and the moms been trying to buy things for the house for us which I really appreciate, but I just don't understand how they think it's suitable to keep bringing kids and their friends to my house while I'm trying to study and my dad is sick instead of meeting outside. I also can't believe they extended their stay as well when my dad JUST got out of the hospital. I also don't know how to approach my bf as he has helped take care of my dad. I'm just frustrated with the timing and lack of understand for our circumstances. They consistently tell me to go study, but it impossible when one of them is watching K-Dramas on max volume, the other one is watching war movies again at max volume in the living room, or I have children screaming, running and breaking things or torturing my dog because they're parents aren't watching them and expecting me to.

They're finally leaving tomorrow, but I'm slowly starting to question if this is the type of in laws I want. My bf, while he is sweet, can be quite insensitive and now I understand where he gets this from. I'm also pretty angry that my boyfriend did not tell his family this is not the right time to come. He didn't even stop to consider the stress I was going through or how I would not have time to cater to people. Especially ones who wouldn't care enough to at least lower the volume or keep the kids out on my final exam days. I noticed this family really lacks manners and hearing a thank you is impossible. I know this sounds horrible to say, but I feel like they have no class whatsoever and I'm fearing that this may be my family one day if I choose to continue on with my bf.

What prompted their visit, in the first place? Why are they all there? The sister, husband and 2 kids especially?
I'll be honest it's not uncommon for some to think...oh well there's an adult present so it's ok to leave the kids there without asking/discussing- I wouldn't dream of it myself but it has happened to me before.

There's nothing wrong with questioning what the future could look like.

This is all very inconsiderate. The person though I am pointing my finger at is your boyfriend.

I’m kind of wondering why YOU didnt say NO in the first place. Same thing with the visitors with children. An explanation that you are studying for finals and need to focus on that is entirely reasonable. If the family wants to meet up and hang out maybe they could go to a park or restaurant.

Many relatives and in laws will ride roughshod over you without a second thought. They don’t take hints either. A clear unequivocal firm response of “NO! Now is not good time for [insert ridiculous request or plan here] Perhaps another time. Feel free to call me and we will discuss at a future time.”

Just as practice with assertiveness you might ask the one with the distructive children how she intends to replace the glass or pay for your coffee table. She will probably make excuses or deny that her kids did anything, or even flat out refuse, but at least she knows that you are on to her.

As far as abusing your dog. State directly to the children that it is mean and abusive to hurt an animal. Please protect your poor dog. Maybe put him/her in a crate if you have one, or put it in the bedroom or somewhere else where to poor pooch is protected.

As for the boyfriend....he is living in your dads and your house. He is technically a guest even though he is your boyfriend. It was inappropriate and even downright inconsiderate of him to bring in laws into your home while you are in the middle of finals. Please have a talk with him and make it clear that any decision to have guests over is a MUTUAL decision and NOT his alone.

Best of luck to you

You are mad at wrong people. Your boyfriend allowed that. If my husband brought whole bunch people to stay with us or hang out while my father was sick and I had finals, he’d be renting hotel room to stay there with his family. Why aren’t you taking it up with your boyfriend? Family is clearly visiting and coming over because he likely never told them not to.