Is this relationship healthy?

Important background story:

I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years now. We’d met just a month before I went abroad to finish my masters. Even though a month’s really a short time he convinced me that we belong together and we decided to try a long distance relationship.

My plans had been completely different before. I’ve always wanted to move abroad and leave my country of origin. He told me that he understands it and that he likes traveling as well, so after my studies he was up for going abroad as well. I really wanted to gave him a chance, because he's an extremely great guy. He’s good looking, caring, loving, unbelievably intelligent, intellectual, artistic and I could just go on. We also share the same hobbies, taste on people and political values.

After some time I noticed that he was really protective of me and jealous as well. Whenever I went out with my classmate, he was calling me, texting, just to make sure I wasn’t meeting with somebody else. But I thought that I can tolerate this one fault.

I’d spent only 6 months abroad when he came to visit me. Afterwards he left his job and moved in with me. I can’t say that it was ideal between us, but it was definitely very good and I appreciated his gesture.

When I finished my studies, I wanted to find a job and stay abroad but he completely shutdown the idea. Even though he’s a year older than me, he wasn’t lucky with his studies and he finally got accepted into his dream university after my student’s life had finished for good. He obviously insisted on going back home and he didn’t want to leave without me. He spent a long time convincing me about how we could be happy there together, told me, that he’d do anything for me and that we'd ony spend 1 year there and then travel. So I agreed on our new plan.

Current situation:
I threw away all of my dreams, goals and plans for this person and expected that he’d return the favor. I have my own apartment so I let him move in while acknowledging the fact that he’s just a student, he pays a rent lower than minimum. Any other place would cost him 3times more.

I don’t want the money from him, I just thought that he could buy me something small every once in a while, surprise me with a dinner, just so I know that he really appreciates what I’ve done for him, but he never does... I often pay for him when we go out, 'cause usually he doesn’t have money. Even if he does, he counts everything to the last cent and he’s extremely stingy.

I told him about the issue and he got very offended. He told me that if money is the issue, he can just move out. But that's not what I want, I just want him to show some appreciation. The problem is that he's too proud to admit that the mistake is somewhere else and it's not just the money.

I work and I'm financially fine. I could effort a concert every once in a while, nice weekend, great summer vacation, dinners at more expensive restaurants ect... And I'm from a financially secured family background as well, so I've always just got whatever I wanted or needed from my family. I'm not used to living a humble life like this. I know the worth of money and I know how much I can afford and right now, it's a lot more than my bf.

I've missed a lot of great things in my life just because he could not efford it and I couldn't efford to pay for both us. When I wanna go with a friend, he usually gets jealous and wants me to stay with him. So I'm stuck at this student level of living even though I've moved on.

Most of the time, I do feel really good with him. Like I've never felt with anyone else before. My family and friends really like him too and everyone takes us very seriously. My dad even told me, that he'd like us to get married. He leaves a good impression everywhere I take him and everyone just loves him. Generally, we click very well, we have a lot in common and he makes me feel emotionally more stable and healthy than I was before. I think I really do love him.

But there are issues. And it's not just the money, it's also other things. He's very stubborn and proud, never admits his mistake. Whenever I tell him, that I have an issue with something that he does, even if it's really minor, he gets so mad. He tells me that I can only see bad things about him, criticize him and he never really try to think about it.

I'm always just the bad gf who can't love him and see that he doesn't have a fault. Even asking him to wash the dishes better because he leaves food on them, turns into yelling, screaming and accusing me of me being a ***** who doesn't appreciate him. It's really really hard to talk with him about problems.

He's extremely self protective and never admits any mistakes that he has. Whenever I tell him that I'd like to change something about relationship, he gets mad, shuts down the conversation and tell me my faults and mistakes instead.

When it comes to traveling and moving abroad... it turned out that he's not really that much into it and he'd rather stay home. Even if he wanted to travel, he'd have to make money and save up for years, before actually going...

Be honest... is this relationship healthy? Is it good? Is there a future for us?

Hmm... what isn't healthy is him not being able to handle any kind of feedback from you whatsoever, and turning it around onto you with accusations, yelling, screaming and what seems like name calling. That is abusive behavior..... what else raises a flag for me is his jealousy and insecurity, and what seems to be a bit of controlling behavior towards you --- and the fact that you are being held back by him in many ways... I also don't like him not reciprocating and showing that he appreciates you holding the financial burden for both of you.

From what you have written I can only come to the conclusion this is NOT a healthy relationship. He seems like a free loader and an abusive one at that. Not someone I would choose to have in my life. Cut your losses and get on with YOUR life.

It sounds that perhaps he is using you for money. It seems a bit extreme that he is ok living off a woman and playing house on her dime. Honorable men would get their life together first and live with it roommates/fellow classmates/ family, not with a woman who is willing to support them.

If you have extra money I am sure you can find better use for it. If you want to keep dating him you could but he needs to live elsewhere.

I really can’t imagine a guy moving in and treating me bad and refusing to help around the house all while I am supporting him. It makes no sense. Why? He needs to move out like yesterday. You need to love yourself more

He sounds extremely immature, to say the least... Sure, the relationship could have a future, but he needs to be willing to change and it doesn't sound like he is willing to. The verbal abuse isn't cool at all and my worry for you is that it could turn physical. I agree with everyone else: get someone better. This is not a healthy relationship at all.

In looking at the situation again, I have to agree with the others about him living off of you and mooching off of you. I did that for someone and they totally took advantage of me, along with abused me.

Sounds like he just refuses to grow up, if he can't compromise this is futile.

You already have up alot for this guy I would think how much more are you willing to give up before you can't get it back?

Honestly if he can't see he has issues and won't change I can't see what future there is.

Do you want to marry him as he is and do you feel he could compromise on child rearing?

Someone said "mooching" and that's,what it,sounds like, he is doing.
I wonder if his,anger stems from you being the bigger wage earner? A pride thing?

Either way I would say he either agrees to go to counselling or mediation. If he says no, you have your answer.

No . . . dump him.

You put in 90%,while he puts in 10%.

Why are you tolerating being treated like this. He is controlling.....do you really like being controlled? He may be doing it subtly....but it is still control & USING you. He is NOT a partner. Very UNHEALTHY relationship.