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rukspc
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Default Jun 18, 2018 at 11:31 PM
  #1
I've been told not to share accounts, co-sign, or put my name on any accounts (add name to insurance, car loan, etc) with partners unless we're married. He suggested switching my car insurance to his and opening a joint bank account. I don't think that's a smart move and I trust what others have told me about the consequences of doing so. We aren't married yet, so it doesn't make sense. As I move forward with this next life event, what is your advice?

Please. I can't sleep because I'm thinking about how these choices will affect me in the long run. Thanks y'all!
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 03:41 AM
  #2
There's nothing wrong, even in a marriage, with keeping seperate accounts.
Does he give full transparency with how he manages his bills? Trying a joint account could be a decent way to try out a way to pay common bills together. I personally wouldn't close out any individual accounts over it.
Why the car insurance? Where did he come up with that idea?
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 04:14 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
There's nothing wrong, even in a marriage, with keeping seperate accounts.
Does he give full transparency with how he manages his bills? Trying a joint account could be a decent way to try out a way to pay common bills together. I personally wouldn't close out any individual accounts over it.
Setting up a joint account and paying joint bills via direct debit through it makes things fair and simple. Decide on how much you should contribute each month and keep the rest of your money in your own account. When I was married my husband earned a third more than me, so he paid a third more than me into the account, but that's what suited us. If we accumulated a surplus we'd put it towards a holiday.
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 05:28 AM
  #4
I agree with the OP -- why create a joint account if you are not married, and why tie yourself to his car insurance if you're not married? You don't know whether this will work out or not. To intertwine your finances like that before you are married is a mistake. Besides, doing so is behaving as though you ARE married.

Just put your foot down and say no, that you won't do that unless you're married. You can explain that it makes no sense to you and that you would prefer to keep things individual and separate while you are living together. It can work just fine that way. You can still split bills and rent just fine this way.
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 06:20 AM
  #5
Absolutely no. Combine finances with boyfriends? Why?
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 07:36 AM
  #6
No way. Joint accounts become BIG trouble if you split.
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 08:03 AM
  #7
Yeah, I don't think it's a good idea either.
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 08:09 AM
  #8
I agree with your advisors. No joint accounts or co-signing for loans or anything until you completely trust and are married to him, if married to him is what you want to be. Otherwise, why would you ever want to comingle your monies. The fact that he is asking you to do it is suspicious on his part. Why does he need you to do that? What is behind his asking you to do that. This is the time for you to have the meaningful conversation about your intentions for each other and your plans for a long term relationship.

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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 08:39 AM
  #9
If I were you, I would not do it. No joint accounts unless married.
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 09:12 AM
  #10
If you will rent, I am pretty sure you are required to put both names on the rental agreement. If you own, then I would create a rental agreement between the owner and the other. Similarly, I would put household bills and utilities under both names. But never would I have joint accounts, loans, etc. However, it is imperative that you both discuss the state of your individual finances.
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 09:29 AM
  #11
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Originally Posted by justafriend306 View Post
If you will rent, I am pretty sure you are required to put both names on the rental agreement. If you own, then I would create a rental agreement between the owner and the other. Similarly, I would put household bills and utilities under both names. But never would I have joint accounts, loans, etc. However, it is imperative that you both discuss the state of your individual finances.
Personally if I am not married, I don’t see any need to disclose my finances. It’s not anyone’s business. Agreement how much people pay towards rent is one thing, disclosing is another. I wouldn’t disclose my finances to a roommate or a family member (like a sibling etc) or a friend. If there is no need to disclose to these people, why disclose to a boyfriend even if he lives with you? All kind of people live in the same space or sleep together. It doesn’t mean financial disclosure is due.
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 10:14 AM
  #12
There is no good reason for joint bank accounts. In marriage or other relationship, in today's world where both of the parties usually supported themselves previous to the relationship, joint accounts are unnecessary and many times only serve to give one control and oversight over the entire finances. And sometimes that's what one wants but that's the consideration. Is there any reason to open your finances to another person and allowing them to take control (potentially)?

Bill responsibility can really be dealt with in other ways and doesn't require the meshing of your bank accounts.

For the insurance, there is no need to do that together, makes no sense whatsoever.

I don't know if his motives are pure but I won't jump to the conclusion that they are not, could be something he thinks is logical but hasn't thought it through but it definitely warrants a conversation.

Whatever you do, say no to joint accounts for anything that is not required for some reason.
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Default Jun 19, 2018 at 03:10 PM
  #13
Legally VERY UNWISE yo have joint accounts when NOT married. My daughter bought a house with her BF (unmarried & not common law either) she put in money from her inheritance from her grandma for the down payment. He decided he wanted out. The value of the house had gone down. She LOST EVERYTHING she had financially.

As long as unmarried KEEP EVERUTHING SEPARATE.

If you do decide to have a joing account use it only for rent & co-responsible bills & then just keep the minimum in ($5) after all the monthly bills are paid. As for cars & insurance.....keep that separate as long as you aren't married. Thete is no legal recourse in separating like in divorce. Don't leave yiurself open to financial harm even if it costs a little more each month.

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