Unfriending a close friend

True but most do not think that way about their own lives and when someone is jealous of it, they are like what? My life isn't that great! There are a few that have inflated egos but are we talking about how your friend is? Is she that way?

I don't think so. Maybe. Because, I can't really determine if the modesty she presents about herself is genuine or not since I repeatedly hurt her I don't know if it makes her feel better that I'm jealous and insecure.

I gotcha but don't you think that's reading and second guessing her intentions or thoughts too much? we can never know people's true inner thoughts and feelings unless they do something to contradict what they've said. Unless she's implied she enjoys the jealousy, it's really just reading into things too much. try not to do that.

I completely agree with that!

True. I'll try not to.

I completely agree!

Sometime we just never know!

Hello there,

I’m not going to dump on you. I just want to tell you that FB has the option to “hide”. I have a younger family member that I have chose this option for. I do not like the kind of crap she post on FB. So I’m able to still remain friends with her yet not see her crap she post. As far as the jealousy I’m glad your trying to work through it in therapy. Maybe in time you can reach out to her on Messenger and just catch up keep it real light. It’s probably best to just check in on her every few months and leave it at that. This is not the end of the world. Back in 2012 when I was first diagnosed correctly. I had been put on a AD and was being tapered off because it made me full blown manic. I went on FB and cussed out my sister. I unfriend a friend from high school and one from college. I did later apologize to my sister on FB. After doing a lot of reading and getting on the right meds. Now when I’m not feeling good I don’t get on social media. And for the record if you decide to not be friends with anyone. You can tell them as little OR as much as you want. You can simply say “I’m not in a good place right now and I’m working on me”. Then ask the person is it ok if I check-in on you every few months? What some people don’t get some girls are very competitive and think they have to be top of everything. What you have to understand is your situation is different than your friend. Does your friend have a MI?

Thank you for the advice

What is an MI?

No problem. Mental illness (MI)

None as I know of...but she did experienced panic attacks last year...

about fb more specifically, to be honest, facebook is one of the worst places to be a part of if you have any issues of jealousy at all. it's an in your face, look at my great life, all about me place and should be avoided at least until you have the jealousy issue in check, IMO.

I actually unfollowed all of my other Facebook "friends" because of this reason.

It’s ok just take some time and work on you.

(((((Hugs)))))

Thank you! *hugs back* ☺

Lots of nurses experience panic attacks. I've had them, I know several who've had them. *rolls eyes* (I am a nurse)

I don't know that I would beat yourself up about this too much. But I feel like I'm missing part of the story. When you talked to her on chat and said you'd be gone for a while, did she know you were unfriending her? If so, unfriending isn't a usual practice for people who are going to be off social media--unless you've blocked her, she can probably still see your account in her "suggested friends" list. I'm only asking because if she's anything like my close friends and some family, whom I'm ashamed to say I used to go through bouts of unfriending with, she doesn't think too much of the behavior because she's your friend. If she knows you at all and has been privy to your struggles, I doubt it comes as a surprise. Hopefully that doesn't sound harsh; it took me a while to realize my friends knew I was mercurial and were my friends because they rolled with the punches.

I think it may benefit you to work on the jealousy issues a bit before trying to add this person back. I have some issues with the same, and I don't go on social media much because I know it doesn't truly represent the entirety of a person. And it is just a trigger for me at times. (and, frankly, it's boring) If you want this person back in your life, send her an honest message. It might not work, but people appreciate the honesty. Otherwise, perhaps let the issue fall to the wayside so you can work on the root of the matter.

She didn't know that I was unfriending her. I mean, before it reached to that point where I unfriended her, we were already not talking to each other for four months since she started working at the hospital. Before she was accepted to that hospital, we were constantly chatting on Messenger for two years since June of 2015...we haven't seen each other on person since March of 2011...

When December 31 2017 came around, she greeted me an advanced Happy New Year...I didn't reply because I was bitter thinking that maybe she only contacted me when it suited her, and the lingering jealousy I felt for her. I unfriended her quickly at impulse and then the next day added her on Messenger telling her that "I'm sorry _____ I may not be contacting you for a very long time. There are just some things that I needed to do something about."

Then after sending the message, I removed her again from Messenger.

That was it. I actually don't wanna send her a last message but to remove "some" guilt on my part, I was compelled to do it.

Hmm. I think, if it were me (and I know it isn't), if it is someone I haven't seen in 7 years and I were having this issue, I would let the friendship lie. Sometimes, friendships just die out or grow apart. That wasn't exactly the case here, but I think a more productive use of your time, instead of worrying over it, would be to work on yourself further.

You're right 😞

I think the only reason I opened up this issue was because in a way it still bothers me even though I was the one who decided to end the friendship.

I'm gonna work on myself and pursue my own goals from now on so that I will have something to distract me from thinking about these things.

And in due time, you will achieve the things you want to, and you won’t feel envious of others. Just be the best you can be.