Depressed partner

My partner has been especially low recently. He’s suffered from low self esteem & has abandonment issues from his mother. He’s always felt like a failure having not met the goals his father set for him, though his family & I have assured him he is loved regardless. He is a caring, beautiful soul. Usually smiling, & dancing. Lately he’s been talking in a low monotone voice, little changes like saying “love you too” instead of “I love you”. I hugged him today & he just stood there. He said he gets like this some times, but we’ve been together 3 years & he’s never been this way. He bought me a gift the other day which isn’t usual, very nice, but not usual. It was considerate which he normally is, but he still seemed down even when I showed how much I appreciated it. We haven’t been intimate in a while. I don’t know if it’s just been a case of we’re both working more than 12 hour shifts regularly, or it’s that he’s been so down it hasn’t been on his mind. I’ve been low myself also due to low self esteem, but when I see he’s hurting nothing else matters. I can put how I feel about myself aside because I want to be there for him. I’m worried, I don’t know how to help. I remind him I’m here, I hug him, & kiss him, I ask him if he’s okay, & if he’d like to talk, but I’m scared.

Hy,

I too have being going through the same... just started therapy last week... also started reading online forums to get back to life, hang in there things will get better.

Welcome LilyOliviaRose. I don't have any answers for you, but I read your post and am touched by how kind you are to one another.

the best thing you can do for depressed people is to be there for them. sometimes we feel like we need to do something to change their emotions and make them feel better but in most cases there is nothing we can do but keep them safe and know they are supported. He'll remember that when it's gotten beter. just hang in there and keep letting him know you're there and that you care.