Gut feeling someone doesn't want to hang out with you

Does anyone else make plans or even hang out with a friend and you get a gut feeling that they really don't want to hang out but they are doing it out of politeness or obligation? Sometimes I feel this way. It doesn't happen all the time but there has been times where it appeared by the way they messaged or even acted in person that they really didn't want to hang out. At times it was me who initiated plans to hang out and they seemed to have just agreed to it out of politeness or at times even if they initiated the hangout, when it would come to actually hanging out, they didn't seem that interested.

I have gone as far as to figure out a good reason to have plans cancelled, which was always very easy to do since they would go along with it very easily without resistance. And the times where I would be with a friend and she didn't seem interested, she would just appear not as energetic or talkative and just appear to not want to do anything. Once a friend, most likely accidentally without even realizing it, basically verbally admitted to not wanting to hang out. She had been very late, two hours late picking me up, and basically said that she went home, worked on a puzzle, and when she checked her phone two hours later and saw that I had asked if we were still hanging out, she said what she had been thinking.

She said yeah I guess we can. That was her telling me what she was mentally thinking. I felt horrible, I came close to telling her to turn around and take me back to the bus stop since I hate it when people hang out with me out of obligation, not because they want to. She most likely felt obligated to hang out since I had traveled by bus, spending five dollars, to get to the location where we would meet. She seemed unaware that she did that but I didn't want to make her feel even worse by calling her out on it, and I feel like doing so would also make me seem clingy or desperate.

And she even initiated the plans the day before to hang out that day so she must have changed her mind after making plans. She doesn't do that very often which is good. I may actually one day let her know in person that if she ever changes her mind about hanging out, she is allowed to just tell me as long as it is not at the very last minute when I have already made a bus ride up there to meet her. I kind of did it through text, but I think it may be better in person so she understands and doesn't feel obligated.

I've also had friends make up lame excuses that I knew weren't real and then find out later they went to hang out with someone else or just didn't do anything they said they had to do. One other friend I no longer hang out with since she did it so much, she would cancel at the last minute only to see her posting pictures of herself hanging out with family members or other friends. The other friend, who I mentioned earlier, doesn't do it very often. And she hasn't completely bailed on me. The few times it did happen, it was just her acting like she didn't seem interested as she originally did.

She doesn't go hanging out with other people, but it is more of her, for whatever reason, making plans and then seeming to changing her mind at times. Basically just extreme laziness. Like she would rather just sit at home all day and watch TV. And even when we do hang out and it seems like she doesn't really want to be bothered, we will watch TV for hours and hours. That is okay with me sometimes, but other times it gets old. And she'll be very quiet, so quiet that there has been times where I wondered if something else was wrong with her as well. She even admitted to being extremely lazy like that at times though, so sometimes it makes me wonder if something else is going on.

I understand sometimes people change their minds, but I still wish they would just tell me rather than hang out with me out of obligation or politeness. One thing I do now is if I am going to hang out with someone, I let them know we can hang out as long as they really want to and if they don't want to then no big deal. I feel like doing that allows someone to feel more comfortable with canceling sooner than later should they ever change their minds. Has anyone else ever felt like a friend really didn't feel like hanging out?

Have you ever cancelled plans due to feeling like someone didn't want to hang out with you? Have you ever hung out with a friend out of obligation or politeness for some reason and if you did, then what was the reason? Just wondered. I also now like to just wait for them to take the initiative since that lessens the chances of that happening. Usually when I feel that way, it is after I make the plans, usually when it is a friend making the plans, I don't feel that way as often.

Maybe your friend is in a rut?

After a long week of working on my farm or especiallt when I was working long hours in my computer engineering career sometimes I just feel /felt like staying home & doing something totally mindless rather than getting cleaned up & having to go out & be social when I'm tired.

However, when my friends plan something I usually go unless I absolutely can't get meself moving to do it. I sometimes struggle being social when I'm tired & actually at times I do welcome a cancelled plans.

I honestly think people who work hard during the week get this feeling more than anyone may admit.

Possible.

Oh okay makes sense.