Seeing someone as clingy as an individual opinion

At times, I feel like when we call someone clingy, it can be just merely a perception of our own opinions about them. Yes there are some people out there that are truly very clingy to everyone and even go as far as to stalk someone or make someone feel harassed, but other times, it is a opinion that some people may have while others may not. For example, I knew someone who constantly talked about her best friend and how much she loved hanging out with her and tried to hang out with her or at least text her as much as possible. That was okay.

But then if someone did the same thing, tried to hang out with them or talk with them a lot, she wouldn't like that and call them clingy. In other words, some people may be okay with one person being around them all the time, but if someone else they may not feel as close to them, that person is automatically labeled as clingy. It even happened to me once. The same person was constantly complaining in college and constantly wanted her best friend to text her and she always bragged about how great of a friend she was and how much she missed her and wanted to hang out with her.

Yet, if I tried to hang out with her, after awhile she would call me clingy even though we really only hung out in the cafeteria for lunch and dinner and sometimes in her room. It wasn't every day either and she made the initiative too, not just me. She most likely just didn't see me as a close friend, probably more as a casual friend or acquaintance even though she said she saw me as a close friend. She loved it when her friend let her talk about her feelings and try to hang out with her but if I tried to give her the same amount of attention, she would call me clingy and insecure. She was okay with talking to me about how she felt about things, but if I tried to hang out with her and even suggest fun things to do, she would call me clingy.

Unless she made the initiative, she didn't seem to like it when I would try to hang out with her. When I graduated, she apparently secretly didn't like it when I went to visit her and some other people either, according to someone else who was also friends with her. She seemed to like it when I visited, but apparently she really didn't. I've seen it happen to other people too. Someone will enjoy another person's constant company, but then if a different person showed the same amount or close to the same amount of attention, it was considered clingy. That's why I feel like people being labeled as clingy can be considered an opinion by others, unless the person being labeled is that way towards everyone and goes so far to the point where it comes off as harassment or even stalking.

Clingy is applicable usually if the attention is undesired.
Think that's pretty usual understanding.

sure you make a point here that is quite true. but every kind of label or description of something can be misused by some people to describe others inaccurately. As you said there are people who are clingy per se but there is also a number of people who would call anyone that wants to hang out with them more than they'd like "clingy" As with everything you have to take into account the context of what is being said and you can't always take the word of someone else without using your own ability to discern whether something is true or based on that person's version of things.

With the person you describe it sounds like a person that I would not enjoy hanging out with in the first place. the trouble isn't you or anyone that want to hang out with them a lot, the problem is in that person being very selfish and self absorbed. I can tell just from the short descriptions that likely this person is quite self important and focused and quite possible very spoiled, bossy and in a nutshell, the type that fails to see others' needs and opinions as important as their own.

I agree.

It can be. Personally I have been clingy to a lot of people and nobody liked it. Now I think about it wasn't my fault, I perceived them to be perfect... now I have realized, looks are deceptive. But to those people, I will always be the "crazy kid who humiliated them." That's not true; calling the mentally ill 'crazy' doesn't make the person who used the word any more of a human being than the aforementioned people. Not to mention anyone that understands mental illness wouldn't think I intentionally humiliated them. I did it, I admit it, but now I think about it they deserved it, if not more, from me.

It's all very subjective, to label one person 'clingy' and the another as 'soulmate'. One of my best friends in high school was almost... well not almost... attracted to his friends. Both of them were normal, popular teenagers with good networking. I don't know how it went out for both of them, neither I wish to know. I have grown up beyond the stage of caring for him, because he was a manipulative **** to say at least, because he thought of him (the other guy) as his 'best friend' yet me, in his mind, 'clingy' yet you know, he wanted money from me. So... well, I do need to explain anymore.

It's all very subjective, people are just like that. We shouldn't think much about their labels. Classmates think I am a retard, yet I am aiming for a very possible MBBS seat in a government medical college here. My doctor and teachers told me I can do it. So the people at PsychCentral. And I never ever copied a single word, yet I passed. I didn't have my lab records completed for two of the total four subjects, yet I passed. I broke sweat in the college lab and didn't copy but pass.


Now I shouldn't lecture you about my journey to med school, but I think it's probable I will get into it. Whether I make through it or not is another story entirely.

Yes I completely agree with you. And yeah, as with the person I described, she really was self centered and bossy, even controlling. I am no longer friends with her to be honest since she cut me off when she found new people to hang out with and a new relationship as well. She only texts me every so often out of boredom but yeah, I am no longer friends with her and I am glad I don't hang out with her anymore. She wasn't enjoyable after awhile.

Yeah I agree, opinions can definitely vary.