H, and I Talked About Our Issues [trigger]

This morning we talked about him going to see a T. He reminded me about his growing up. He lived part of his young life with all 4 of his Aunts, his Grandmother, and all the cousins at that time. He, and one Cousin were the only males in a house full of females that were completely down on the male gender, so his cousin tried to be the male figure in my H's life. A major problem with that was his cousin was a lot older than my H, and would have him doing things that grown men might not do. His cousin also practiced on him. Later in life his cousin became a serial killer, and is on death row, and my H won't talk to someone he hasn't known for a long time, about his life. So I will be working on him to go with me to see my T, and hopefully start there. My H has been very good after I ended up calling the cops on him, so he said he has been working on his anger himself, and can't talk to someone he don't know. He has been very good after the cops thing, but I will still work on him to at least go with me to see my T. I could use all the encouragement I can get, bc I know this won't be easy!!!!!!!

It's great that he's going to get help and that he has someone willing to support him through this. Wishing you both the best!

Wow. You guys can do this and it sounds very promising actually katydid777. Good on you for trying to make things happen. Stay strong in your heart and spirit, you have a good focus, a strong focus. I sense that. Sending out positive energy to you.

Sometimes it takes a cop thing to wake them up. I am glad there is change in him & you see it. Your support is important to encourage that change to grow.....I agree with your decision 100%.

Stay strong as it will be a long road but worth it in the end if he has the support & keeps up his iwn desire to change.

Katydid keep trying until you can't. You don't have much h to loose and everything to gain. Wishing you the best!

So true, I don't have anything to loose.

Some times it does. It may be a long road, but I have to try!

Thank You, I realized that I have to try everything I can, before I go to that D word!

He hasn't agreed to do this, I am just going to set it up, and drag him along if I can! I realized that 26 years is very hard to let go of, and I need to do everything I can first!

Hi-I found you, sorry to hear about issues with your husband. You probably already know the advice I would give (?).
Life is so complicated. And the older we get, the more apparent it becomes,
1. Past behavior usually a really good indicator of future behavior...People's basic behaviors and personality rarely change very much except when something huge (good or bad), traumatic or major life change (death, jail, severe illness, huge change in income, etc. occurs...
2. Only we know what we are willing/able to tolerate- E.g. In cases of abuse, it amazes me what some people are able or willing to endure.
I remember when we met here a few years ago, and you in your early fifties (or late 40's) were looking for a MAJOR change in your life- You began by reevaluating your childhood traumas, hoping to have better insight into the future, etc.
And, as always I wish and prayer for only the best for you. YOU ARE SO WORTHY OF blissful, joyous, peaceful and unconditional LOVE every single day of your life...
More so you deserve that pure love multiplied many times over to make-up for what you missed out on as a child...
Yep, I sound unreasonable and living in my fantasy world filled with live and good spirit-building things -lol.
Reality is, I think it's really rare that anyone has or feels that type of love, peace, joy here on earth-
Wish we all did/could.
Regardless of what's going on, we still need to be our own best friend, especially when those that surround us on a daily basis are acting bad...
(Btw- my family and especially brother and mother have behaved much worse recently - hard to believe evil/mean/selfish people like them have gotten even worse
Therefore, when we (think) we have nobody that loves us, and we have many that are knocking us down,
Even (especially) when we don't believe it,
We must look at ourselves in the mirror, with a big smile and say,
"YOU ARE LOVABLE + CAPABLE!"

You know I think you are (and likely many others think that about you too)- But we all come + go and sometimes get caught up with our own bad stuff-
So again my advice to you today, again, as usual is to suggest you be your own best friend. loving + caring and doing special things for yourself that you like + love,
Cause nobody could ever be (know) you and be the bestest friend, as you can AND SHOULD YOURSELF-
TREAT YOURSELF WONDERFULLY EVERY DAY, cause you deserve it more than you'll ever know
From your friend forever (even when I'm gone)
Gail Kathryn
Please ignore typos, I'm on my phone and cant see screen, while typing.

Thank You, I have wondered how you were doing. And I will always be concerned as to how things are with you. Your words make so much sense. As you know, we are all our worst enemy's, and I am no different than anyone else. I miss our good conversations. Things are better between my H, and I. He has stopped drinking, and hasn't given me any problems after I called the cops on him a couple months ago. So things with us are better. I will have to start making plans for us to do things, and be together more, bc he won't. I asked others on here if the distance my H, and I have is normal when married for a long time, and everyone that commented, said yes. So I will be working on changing that, and as advised, I will do this a little at a time, so he slowly starts to get use to it. (((((((MANY GREAT BIG HUGS< MISS YOU)))))))

Thanks for the update. Glad things calmed down & are going better now

Glad to hear things are going better