Angry

I am angry with m husband for hurting my feelings,past , and present. Unfortunately there are incidents that come to mind because of something I am watching on television. He has spoken painful things in my presence and in the presence of others . Which hurts even more. They felt badly ,felt rejecting, felt critical,and felt undeserved. I was’nt doing anything just being my mostly quiet mostly probably too accommodating self. I have spoken to him about some of these things but not all. Some were a long time ago but get triggered as I said by what I see and it is only HGTV! In most instances he came around, or he was just being well insensitive and not taking into account that I would be hurt by what he was saying to another guy but in my presence. Not that other people haven’t hurt me but I am not constantly around them or I can somewhat really not have them much in my life. The trouble seems to really be I am carrying this pain inside of me to my painful detriment. I have tried to work through some steps to help forgive but I was carrying a lot of pain to begin with from abuses in my background. I have tried to work on those things too but have suffered some really bad counselor experiences. Wow, no wonder I hurt and feel angry. This is all plugging in.

I think once there's a history of damage done and resentment builds it moves beyond the forgiveness of the offended party and into a need for the offender to attone through affirming actions and words. It's take 2 participating individuals to rekindle and reaffirm the relationship.

The weight of forgiveness on the shoulders of any one person is too much to bear.