An unexpected change of heart

Hello all,

I'm confused. I recently went on a date with a girl I met on a dating site. We had a good time, but nothing mind blowing. As I'm very cautious I didn't ask her for a second date, but sent her a text message thanking her for the nice evening. She replied that we should plan to get together soon again.

The following week we exchanged text messages. I asked her out for Saturday night, but she had other plans, but suggested to meet up Thursday instead. I didn't reply to her message right away to confirm.

This morning she texted me out of the blue that my last message was aloof and she feels that it's not necessary to be polite anymore. I'm not sure why she thought my message was aloof, I was simply asking which day works for her.

Further she said that she felt zero chemistry at the first date, is not romantically interested and doesn't want to meet me anymore. I replied that I I'd like to see her again but have to accept that she's not interested.

I'm puzzled why she brought up to meet up again after the first date if she felt no chemistry. I'm very disappointed.

It could be that once she decided that you were “aloof” and she was no longer interested she wanted to justify herself by claiming that she felt no chemistry to begin with.

It sounds to me that because you didn’t text back right away, or didn’t sound enthusiastic enough for her liking, she lashed out defensively at you. Like: “You don’t like me? Well, I don’t like you, either!”

Maybe once time passed between the first date and the texts that gave her a sense of aloofness, she had time to mull it over? It is possible she initially wanted a second date to get a better sense, but too much time may have passed?

It could also have depended on the types of things planned for dates?

I'm not sure, I'm only guessing.

Perhaps you not asking to see her again neither during first date nor in
the first text message sent her a message that you aren’t that interested