Letting Go

I have a very hard time letting people go. Sometimes a relationship ends and it is necessary for me to move forward. I'm not good at it. I like to wallow. I go back to unhealthy friendships because the pain of leaving is more than I can handle, so I go crawling back.

I lost an important relationship. I'm hurting. I just want to move forward. How do I let go?

I wish I knew what to tell you. I seem to be having the opposite problem right now (see my post on this board about How to End a Friendship).

(((((( TheSadGirl ))))))

I am sorry you are going through this. I have a hard time letting go, too. I tend to like to fix things.


WC

It's not letting go per se that is the problem, it is that deep inside you crave for people's contact. This is what I make out of your diagnosis. It's your fear that you'll never find a better person to be in relationship with. It's that you over-analyze the situation and the person and it can be what is called analysis-paralysis. You believe that you feel safe with the person (who may be a friend or a romantic partner or a family member) even though you know it's a toxic relationship. It's normal for a person diagnosed with anxiety disorder to crave for people, I do that too. Ever since I was a little child.

I even dream about people long gone, those who don't have anything to do with me. It was just yesterday where I dreamed of a friend who I had sexual attraction to, it was a very heartbreaking dream. We were back to high school and during a class he sat next to me. Now it's been more than two years since I graduated high school, I am in college now, I cannot drive (due to my head injury) and he's there riding with bikes like Classic 350. I am a loner while he's a popular handsome guy. I crave for him still, I dream about people like him daily. It's because of my anxiety and stress which trigger those dreams.


The best thing you can do is talk to your therapist about it. However it doesn't mean you cannot reduce and eventually erase the craving by yourself. Here are some links to blog articles which can help you.

1) 10 Reasons Some People Just Can't Let Go of An Ex - Psychology Today.
2) Why You Can't Let Go - Thoght Catalog
3) 40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain - Tinny Buddha.
4) Important Tips on How to Let Go and Free Yourself - Psychology Today

Thank you all for commenting. I'm heart broken and sad. I sometimes wish I didnt have a heart at all.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Big hugs to you, SadGirl.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. You're a caring person.

I think letting go is a process. You will have better days / moments, and not so good days. Time heals, too.

If this was an unhealthy friendship (it sounds like it was from what you said), it's a healthy and good thing that its over. Even though it hurts.

(((SadGirl)))

I’m sorry you’re going through this.

((((((((( TheSadGirl )))))))))

I wish you stayed

I hope you come back

Me too. You're a wonderful person.

She will be missed

I agree. You’ll be missed ...

I am very sorry that you left. I hope that you come back.

Thank you all. I dramatically left the forum because I was hurting. It's my version of running away.

I ultimately lashed out at my friend. I was just so tired of people trampling my heart. I did one of the most hurtful things I have ever done to someone. For a moment it felt good but then I felt horrible.

I would rather fall apart than hurt someone, regardless of what they did. Hes currently speaking to me but I feel like either he hates me or my guilt is so bad that i think he should.

So yah. I give my heart out. It's what i do. The heart smashes are worth the moments you change someone's life or they change yours with a bit of love.

I’m so happy that you are back!

I'm glad you're back SadGirl. I did that too.