heartbreak - job burnout - expat opportunity - all at once

Hello,

Don't know where to begin, i've a very hard situation nowadays, and it continues about a two months already. i'm 30, she's 27 Two months ago I started meeting a girl who is an totally arts person, singer which is known (and her populartity is growing) in my little country. And i felt in love with her, with her mindset, and how she talks about things. She also showed it back. But when the things got more serious she just stopped. As we talked she's afraid of attaching to me and so, "because" she is going on erasmus for half a year, also she has very little time because lots of work to do with her career are happening and now there are her time to grow up as an artist (dont know if it's true, but i totally understand and respect her wishes) i'm having very hard time accepting this, and feeling lots of pain in my heart.
Seems like it's simple situation. But only now im realizing how dull my life is: Im working in IT as a Network Engineer for almost 10'ers. Corporate warrior - Just digging into technology, and starting to see no meaning in it. Now, when going through it, seems like everything changed I see how I like to interact more with people than technology, and it came very touhg to acknowledge this. Maybe this is temporary, overburn or just a side efect of hearbreak. I dont know. Because all my life was not what i want to do, but what i NEED. everything was pushed through discipline. And this is contrary to her. If not my job - i dont know where i would be. But now i know that the only thing i have is the Job @ prestigious company and good money. I'm very jealous when people for example in the evenings when there're free time arts people are going to some workshops, repetations and so on. Seems like i'm lacking some softness in my life. Maybe i'll need to have some hobbie which is towards to ARTs to get that softness. Also im highly sensitive person, she has that too.
And besides all these things i got problem number 3. 1 year ago i applied to job abroad. At that time i was not selected, but now i got an invitiation letter to work there. And I'm lost. I always wanted to try myself to work abroad. Meet some new people, get some abroad experiance, improve my english, etc. Now in my head i can't think clearly. On one side i think it would be very nice once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and to try work abroad. On other side im afraid that I'd be crushed by the job which im not feeling passion anymore. But maybe the passion would revive as the organization will change. Anyhow stepping out of comfort zone would definetaly shape my. But i'm afraid..
Also im doing psychotherapy which helps.. but slowly.. having bad time to make a sleep, also drinking B vitamins to release the anxiety..

Hello kajatonas: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

From what you wrote, it sounds as though several things have come together in your life more-or-less at the same time. And it has caused you quite a bit of confusion & uncertainty with regard to how to proceed. You mentioned you're receiving some psychotherapy. I think that is a good place to work through all of this.

There is probably little I can offer in the way of suggestions with regard to the new job opportunity that has become available to you. Your dilemma is, of course, one that many people face from time-to-time. Do you leave the security of your present job to strike out in a new direction? Or do you stay with what's familiar? I guess, if you have a job that is secure & that pays well, that in-&-of itself is something to celebrate. Many people don't even have that let alone the opportunity to go to work in another country. It's certainly nice to have choices... even if coming to a decision with regard to them is difficult.

You mentioned the pain in your heart regarding the young woman you met. Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to mend a broken heart:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/chang...-broken-heart/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-way...-broken-heart/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/help-o...om-heartbreak/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...ver-a-breakup/

My best wishes to you...