Child with Anxiety/Depression

I have suffered from, and treated for, depression with some anxiety. My young adult daughter has been treated for anxiety/depression/cutting. She was hospitalized last year for and came out of the hospital seemingly feeling much better. She was working toward her GED, finished it and enrolled in a trade school out of town (2 hours from our home). She was in a relationship at the time and her boyfriend moved with her. Their relationship fell apart shortly after and he moved back home and she moved into an apartment by herself. She was doing fantastic in school and seemed to love it. Unfortunately, she decided she was okay and stopped taking her meds and began and downward spiral. A short relationship that did not work out (where she was not treated well) ended and seemed to really trigger the whole anxiety issue big time. She feels isolated, as she hasn't made many friends here and has kind of cut herself off from those she does know. She has taken a leave from school and is back on meds, but it's still a difficult time. I have come to stay with her indefinitely, but I don't know if I'm helping much. I try to draw her out about what she's feeling, but she seems to get angry with me and feels that I'm scolding her. When I suggest things that might be a small way to contribute to her feeling better, she shuts me down. I don't know how I can best support her as she goes through this, and gets to a place where she can resume her normal life. She worked with a psychiatrist and therapist at home, and now has appointments scheduled in her new city. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong - can anyone tell me what kind of support from family and friends is helpful and what is not?

Hi Chamb58. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry your daughter is resisting your efforts to help. Unfortunately when children are over 18 they are no longer able to be managed by parents so there is not a lot you can do until they decide they want your help.

My own experience trying to help a friend is I have to wait until their mood changes. When they are depressed they are more helpless and need more support and are willing to receive it from me. When they are independent and invincible I save my ideas for I know they will fall on deaf ears.

The only time people can really help others like this is if they become a threat to their own safety or others in which case police can get involved. But this is not a situation without consequences because calling police might get your daughter very upset and mad at you. There are no easy solutions. Some people in your situation get a therapist for themselves to help them navigate the situation.

I have also found NAMI helpful for their Family to Family program. They may have local chapters in your area. Go to www.NAMI.org if interested. You can meet others face to face that share your problems and often leaders can guide you to a practical solution or help you cope with the situation.

Thank you. It's a day by day situation right now - yesterday was a pretty good day. as a mom, I just want to give her a hug and a spoonful of medicine and make it better. And that doesn't work now.