Feeling guilty

Macd123 · Jul 20, 2018 at 12:21 PM

Somebody asked me to go do something today and I made up some excuse why I couldn’t go - now I feel terrible that I didn’t accept the invite. It was short notice but I could have probably gone. I think I’m becoming a shut in. 😱

healingme4me · Jul 20, 2018 at 04:39 PM

The one thing that stood out to me was that you pointed out that it was a short notice invite. Is it something you regret not doing or is it something else? Does this person typically make last minute plans? Are they prone to not consider you for other events when you decline? Did it make you feel like an afterthought?

You need more than same day invites, there's nothing wrong with that.

Macd123 · Jul 20, 2018 at 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

The one thing that stood out to me was that you pointed out that it was a short notice invite. Is it something you regret not doing or is it something else? Does this person typically make last minute plans? Are they prone to not consider you for other events when you decline? Did it make you feel like an afterthought?

You need more than same day invites, there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah well I really wasn’t doing anything else so I was critical of not getting myself out there - I’m just thinking that I’m not really trying to get myself involved and it’s always been a problem. The reason I wrote this was I was feeiing so crappy about my response. You’re right though it was short notice and if I had a social life I’d probably be upset.

divine1966 · Jul 20, 2018 at 06:37 PM

It was a short notice. Most people can’t do things on short notice. Don’t feel guilty.

~Christina · Jul 20, 2018 at 11:48 PM

Don’t feel bad , I can’t do last minute stuff.

MickeyCheeky · Jul 21, 2018 at 03:12 AM

It's ok, I don't think it's anything major. Remember that you don't have to reply immediately - you can always say "I have to think about it"

aimlesshiker · Jul 21, 2018 at 09:34 AM

You're not put onto this earth to please people and make it to every one of your acquaintances' events! I applaud you for doing what you really felt like doing and staying home and enjoying yourself. Believe me, I do the same thing when I turn down an invite, but making time for yourself is way more important.

Crazy Hitch · Jul 21, 2018 at 11:57 PM

Ring them up and invite them somewhere (just don't make it last minute lol)

lady411 · Jul 22, 2018 at 04:43 AM

Yes it’s important to put yourself first. It’s not very considerate of others to invite you last minute and then get upset if you deny an invite. Because that day may have been the case where you had no other plans but they can’t always have that expectation.

avlady · Jul 22, 2018 at 05:40 AM

i don't think you should sweat it, the person should have realised when you didn't do it you were probably tired or just weak, maybe you were and you don't realise it yourself.Don't worry, please.

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Macd123 Veteran Member Member Since Feb 2015 Location: Seattle Posts: 735 9 10 hugs given	Jul 20, 2018 at 12:21 PM #1 Somebody asked me to go do something today and I made up some excuse why I couldn’t go - now I feel terrible that I didn’t accept the invite. It was short notice but I could have probably gone. I think I’m becoming a shut in. 😱
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,402 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jul 20, 2018 at 06:37 PM #4 It was a short notice. Most people can’t do things on short notice. Don’t feel guilty.
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~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 12 12.7k hugs given	Jul 20, 2018 at 11:48 PM #5 Don’t feel bad , I can’t do last minute stuff. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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MickeyCheeky Legendary Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Italy Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!) 7 38.4k hugs given	Jul 21, 2018 at 03:12 AM #6 It's ok, I don't think it's anything major. Remember that you don't have to reply immediately - you can always say "I have to think about it"
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aimlesshiker Member Member Since May 2018 Location: US Posts: 103 5 58 hugs given	Jul 21, 2018 at 09:34 AM #7 You're not put onto this earth to please people and make it to every one of your acquaintances' events! I applaud you for doing what you really felt like doing and staying home and enjoying yourself. Believe me, I do the same thing when I turn down an invite, but making time for yourself is way more important.
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Crazy Hitch ɘvlovƎ Member Since Nov 2013 Location: Australia Posts: 18,611 (SuperPoster!) 10 12.7k hugs given	Jul 21, 2018 at 11:57 PM #8 Ring them up and invite them somewhere (just don't make it last minute lol)
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lady411 Member Member Since Feb 2018 Location: US Posts: 162 6 2 hugs given	Jul 22, 2018 at 04:43 AM #9 Yes it’s important to put yourself first. It’s not very considerate of others to invite you last minute and then get upset if you deny an invite. Because that day may have been the case where you had no other plans but they can’t always have that expectation.
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avlady Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jan 2013 Location: angola ny Posts: 9,786 (SuperPoster!) 11 28.8k hugs given	Jul 22, 2018 at 05:40 AM #10 i don't think you should sweat it, the person should have realised when you didn't do it you were probably tired or just weak, maybe you were and you don't realise it yourself.Don't worry, please.
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