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Jul 23, 2018 at 01:37 PM
#1
These three words make me really uncomfortable and stress me out. There are very few people on this earth that I feel comfortable saying it to. The rest of the time I either ignore or force myself to say it back.
I'm not sure why I'm this way. I dont really care and have no desire to fix it. My question is how do I handle it. Should I just tell people it makes me uncomfortable? I dont want to hurt anyones feelings when they put themselves out there like that (genuinely). I also dont feel good saying it just to reciprocate. The who situation makes me ill. I dont need anyone to say I love you. Just show it. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
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Jul 23, 2018 at 01:45 PM
#2
Love is a binary, uni-directional thing. If you don't feel it, don't express it. Conversely, if you can't express it, don't say it
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,114
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Jul 23, 2018 at 11:01 PM
#3
It makes me uncomfortable too. I've always just let it pass without a response back when I don't feel it too. I absolutely never say it when it's not true, that would be misleading and wrong. Some people also say it really casually and don't really mean it on the level I would mean it if I would say it - "haha, I love you" sort of things. I've not yet had someone be "in love" with me and say it and expect me to say it back, so I don't know if I would handle something like that differently. I think in that case if they were expecting it said back I would just be up front with them and say something like "I'm sorry to hurt you, but I don't feel the way you do" and then tell them how I do feel.
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Mad Walker
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,094
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Jul 23, 2018 at 11:49 PM
#4
Hello TheSadGirl2. I personally haven't found 'I love you' or 'I love you, too' that difficult to say, except to people who I know I don't love. And for them, from what I recall, if they said 'I love you' then I just say 'thanks, appreciated' and then move on to the next awkward thing.
My way of looking at it is, I ask myself, 'do I have love for this person?' and if the answer is yes, then I can say I love you. So, I guess when I say 'I love you' what I mean is 'I have love for you', and so that makes it easier to say or handle. At the end of the day, you're right, love is in the actions, but don't forget, verbal communication is an action as well. |
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