decison-making

I'm new on here and when I looked at the forums I didn't know where this fit so I am starting here.
I'm trying to make a decision about a family matter that has been bothering me for some time. My father recently revealed a lot of 'dirty laundry' about he and my mother which initially was shocking but then helpful as it freed me from some negative beliefs I had about myself. Now I am confused about whether to tell my brothers what I was told because it might also help them in the long run. I feel like they have a right to know as my parents behaviors, though hidden, impacted us - kids pick up on everything and I was certainly effected. But will my brothers just think I'm causing trouble, and does that matter? My mother won't tell them though she has apologized to me and admitted that she has been dishonest.
Do they have a right to know?

One option might be to ask your dad to tell your brothers.

You can ask them if they want you to tell them the thing you were told before revealing it.

My sister told me that our father attempted to molest her. I’m not sure it gets too much worse than hearing something like that. My reaction was to believe and console her, but to also defend him because he was mentally ill and on heavy meds that may have caused him to do that. He died shortly thereafter.

If your father is willing to reveal this information to one of his children I think it should be on him to reveal it to the rest too but I would present it to him that way and give him the option before going further.

Hello honeysuckleVine: Since you're new here on PC... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

With regard to your concern, it seems to me it should really not be your responsibility to share what you have learned with your brothers. Your father revealed it to you & he, as your brothers' father, should now reveal it to them. On the other hand, this situation does put you in a precarious situation. Because if your father chooses not to share the information with your brothers, then you are in possession of information they do not have. And if your father does not reveal the information, & at some later date, your brothers learn you knew but did not tell them, that could potentially anger them.

From my perspective, you're kind-of between the proverbial rock & a hard place on this. So I think what would be appropriate here would be for you to ask your father (firmly) to share with your brothers what he has revealed to you. Explain the difficult position you are in so that he (hopefully) understands where you're coming from. Agree to a time frame within which he will speak to your brothers (so this whole thing doesn't just drag on forever.) But also tell him that if he does not share the information within the agreed upon timeframe you will do so yourself. (An alternative might be for you & your father to arrange to share this difficult information together with your brothers.)

Will your brothers think you're causing trouble? There's really no way to know. But I would think that if you explain to them how you came by the information, & the difficult position it put you in, perhaps that will help to ensure they will not think you're just out to make trouble. Ultimately, though, you can't control how they will react. And that is part of the difficult "inheritance" your father has bestowed upon you. You can only do your best to make sure everyone understands what is occurring & how it came about. My best wishes to you...

Welcome to PC

I don't think I have more to add. My thought is start with making this your father's responsibility before choosing to talk with your brothers.

I think your father needs to be the one to admit XYZ .. You brothers might have questions that they need answered and then he will be right there

Im glad that it has helped you..

Welcome to PC