How do I let people in to start a relationship?

relationshipmessup5 · Aug 04, 2018 at 09:32 PM

Hi!,

Let me give a little back story. I am 22 years old and my parents split when I was 6. I have lived with my mother ever since and she keeps telling me of all the nasty things my father did when they were together (like cheat on her before the wedding), and after they split (like ruin her financial life). I am 22 years old and I have never really been in a relationship. I have had some partners but none that really stuck around. I would like to be in a relationship but I know I have trust and commitment issues. I just want to be in a relationship and I also feel like I can be to picky sometimes. However, I get really anxious when I might be talking to someone and when they want to hang out. But like after the hang out I fall like head over heels for the person. IDK what to do and I just need some help on how to not have the issues and try dating people. Any suggestions?

Bill3 · Aug 05, 2018 at 12:43 AM

I’m sorry that you are having this difficulty. What would you think of seeing a therapist?

relationshipmessup5 · Aug 05, 2018 at 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

I’m sorry that you are having this difficulty. What would you think of seeing a therapist?

I have in the past and it did help for a bit I became more comfortable with myself. I saw my schools therapist but then he got a new job and I don't know if I would want to start all over again.

DP_2017 · Aug 05, 2018 at 10:28 AM

I was gonna suggest therapy too. I know it's hit or miss but if you get a HIT, therapy can be very valuable in your life.

Otherwise I honestly have no idea... I struggle from this too and it goes back with so many underline issues that I have to work on

Bill3 · Aug 05, 2018 at 12:03 PM

I agree that it might take time to get to know a new therapist and see if there is a good fit. Still, it sounds like therapy helped in the past, so maybe it could help again!

downandlonely · Aug 05, 2018 at 12:07 PM

Yeah, therapy might be good or you can try support groups. There are free ones out there. Try the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance or the National Alliance for Mental Illness.

relationshipmessup5 · Aug 12, 2018 at 09:48 AM

Thank you all for your advice!

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Bill3 Legendary Member Since Mar 2009 Location: USA Posts: 10,924 15 24.1k hugs given	Aug 05, 2018 at 12:43 AM #2 I’m sorry that you are having this difficulty. What would you think of seeing a therapist?
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DP_2017 Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2017 Location: A house Posts: 4,412 6 665 hugs given	Aug 05, 2018 at 10:28 AM #4 I was gonna suggest therapy too. I know it's hit or miss but if you get a HIT, therapy can be very valuable in your life. Otherwise I honestly have no idea... I struggle from this too and it goes back with so many underline issues that I have to work on __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love.
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Bill3 Legendary Member Since Mar 2009 Location: USA Posts: 10,924 15 24.1k hugs given	Aug 05, 2018 at 12:03 PM #5 I agree that it might take time to get to know a new therapist and see if there is a good fit. Still, it sounds like therapy helped in the past, so maybe it could help again!
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downandlonely Legendary Member Since Mar 2018 Location: United States Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.6k hugs given	Aug 05, 2018 at 12:07 PM #6 Yeah, therapy might be good or you can try support groups. There are free ones out there. Try the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance or the National Alliance for Mental Illness.
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relationshipmessup5 New Member Member Since Aug 2018 Location: Erie Pa Posts: 3 5 4 hugs given	Aug 12, 2018 at 09:48 AM #7 Thank you all for your advice!
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